Tell me what sucks about you and I'll work w/ you to fix it

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My husband. I am looking forward to have a baby and maybe have a house someday. Also looking forward to start trying again soon so I can have one. I hope another miscarriage won't occur.

If people didn't want to be helped, they wouldn't be posting in this thread.

To be honest, making female friends just to be friends with them is incredibly easy, and I do that all the time. But I want to be able to convert one of those friends into a lover... I'm not one to be attracted to women I just met, so making a lover out of a friend is pretty much the only method I have available... except now there are no female friends I have that are both single and would be interested in me...

it is obvious what your problems are. would you like some suggestions on how to fix them?

people are always looking for help and frequently they are so desperate for help they will even turn to shaman and charlatans. pepole should seek help from those who can legitimately provide it in the proper context. the kinds of issues people deal with in real life can seldom be properly addressed in a forum such as this one. effective counseling requires a thorough background, history, and understanding of one's current circumstances. anything less is at best bad advice nad more likley malpractice and fraudulent.

i only wish more people would have the sense to understand this but so often they either don't or just set good judgment aside.

Go to a different one then.

Have you got exactly what you want on your profile? Because if you're not niche specific you wont get what you want. Also how many people do you message and what do you say to them? I know for a fact dull messages on dating sites get ignored.

wtf, why does that make him a tool? tbh if you can't keep friends then you wont be able to keep a woman. Friends don't have to be shallow comapny... at ALL. Some are and always will be, some can be really really deep and close.

There is something wrong with your way of thinking if you're calling yourself unlovable and constantly putting yourself down. I've seen several posts where you do this. So I don't believe that you're fully happy with yourself minus the GF issue. Its very hard fr me to establish what this is if you don't tell me. The most I can do is go by your posts.

You aren't by yourself, the world is full of people. You can get so much out of life without a partner. People will go, hey, look at this guy, maybe he isn't such a loser after all, look at what he's done with his life!

You need to work on improving your self esteem. You shouldn't need approval of others to feel good about yourself, although its very easy not to.. not to go on a tangent but i've been emotionally abused and it destroyed my self esteem, but the things is, you need to be able to look at what these people do and say "I DON'T CARE, I'M A GREAT PERSON" and actually mean it. Thats what i'm trying to do with you here.

Would it improve if you lost weight? Enjoyed a job? I know you go to a church so you obviously put something back to the community, What about enhancing your singing career?

What I meant was, do you wake up in the morning and know that there is something in your life worth making an effort for, sometimes thats what it takes.
Do you have ADD by any chance? I mean it really could be an issue and its not good having to resort to meds but the option is there.

I sure can .

Simply pull the carrot out of your arse and go outside.

Yeah, that is a very hard thing. Sadly, there is no cure for broken hearts. It's the risk you have to take when choosing a partner. All I can really suggest is you choose wisely.

Beware of their track records too. I learned this the hard way recently. Also make note of the way they treat others, and if there is a lack of respect for you, dump their arse or don't go there. This of course won't be concrete that you won't have your heart broken, but it can help elminate some worthy candidates.

As for social skills thats a self esteem thing and caring about what people think... if you can get to the stage that you don't care, you can be yourself and be happy without worrying that certain people don't like you. What do you think you could do to improve your self esteem in this way? Pretending to be NT is VERY draining. After I make small talk for an hour, I seriously go to sleep for two afterwards. As long as no very bad aspie traits creep out i think if you can fix caring what people think you will be okay.. I mean me for instance cant take my own advice because I have very bad aspie traits in certain areas.

As far as your boyfriend goes, I know exactly what you mean. Some aspies cannot cope with what they are, and critisise loved ones for displaying traits that they wish they THEMSELVES didn't have. Never forget its NOT you with the problem here. He should be getting help for that as it's really unfair on you. My aspergers father would be condescending to me when I was reluctant to use the telephone. He wouldnt use it unless someone forced him to.

If you can get to the point where you can tell him to get over it when he displays this insecure behaviour maybe he will get the message. Stand upto him when he does this.

That really sucks about that. Did you ever find out the cause? Perhaps you could concentrate on doing what you can for your body in preparing to have a healthy baby. It could help you get motivated if you get good results. It may not work, but could be a start to pick up your mood and thoughts on life?

I have mentioned this in the past.
Get a part time job for 5 hours in the week at a resaturant. Be a waiter in a job full of waitresses. If it does not appear to work out, you can leave it straight away, and have that little bit of extra cash you made from it

So basically what you mean is you think Wrongplanet should dissappear into a puff of smoke?
If thats the case..... lol.

Also I run a support site and get emails daily from people i've actually helped thanking me. Dumbarse. Go and b***h in your own thread instead of bringing such negativity into mine.

Oh what nonsense. Nobody here is asking what herbs they should take to cure their brain tumour rather than seeing an oncologist. They are just asking for advice on better living, which anybody can give. I don't know why you think people need to be licensed therapists to give advice or why only the advice from licensed therapists would be any good, but I think you are very wrong. I'm sure therapists like to think they have a monopoly on good advice but they don't. In fact, many therapists don't actually give advice. This is a shame because lots of people need and want advice and would be better helped by it than by therapy.

Darn tootin'! !!

I was diagnosed with it in 1995. How is this ADD related?