Women: pickiness and relationship type

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How about kill two birds with one stone and join a nature organization that does hikes in the woods. You get some exercise and get in shape while walking along with whatever women are also there and talking to them. And although it isn't church per se, being out in nature can be pretty spiritual.

I agree sort of with this.

I have learned over time that once you put yourself in the NT catagory of friends it is very hard to pull yourself out of that catagory. For someone with AS its different I think because we care about things on a different level. I have learned the hard way though that sometimes waiting too long for that perfect moment may never come. While your busy being the friend and getting to know them, they may be getting to know someone else. i think its important to state your intentions or possible intentions early on.

Don't you get it, Toad uses these things as excuses. He likes being miserable and complaining. He said himself, he hates himself and is always saying how "unlovable" he is. Even if he were to meet a compatible woman, he'd scare her off with his low self-esteem and the fact that he's so insistent on how things happen, that if things didn't go exactly according to plan on the first date, he'd have a panic attack.

Toad, you need to stop thinking about women altogether, lose the weight. If your face isn't bad, and you take off that 100 pounds, you'll be presentable, and you'll feel better, and since you look and feel good, women will notice you, plus you won't turn them off with your bad attitude.

I know I have my problems myself, but the Toad show is getting old. Tell me this, Toad, would you date a woman that was 100lbs overweight and hated her life and had nothing to offer you? That's what you are right now. I know some fat guys that have girlfriends, but they have great personalities and the women forget that the guy is overweight because he's so good to be around.

You can keep making excuses, or you can go through the process of changing. Or you keep doing what you're doing, and eventually you'll either find someone as miserable as you, or someone that completely takes advantage of you and uses you for whatever money you have in the future or to boss you around.

In essence, you're probably right. I am a bit more flexible than you put it, but I sure as hell can't improvise that well. In addition, I usually need to psychologically prepare myself before going to any social outing, whether a date or not. Otherwise I look like an indecisive bumbling idiot who has no idea what he's doing and is incredibly lost, which is more unattractive than at least appearing as though I know what I'm doing...


I'd love to be able to take my mind off of women. But no matter how hard I try, I just can't. I hate biology...

To be honest, as long as she fit that criteria of actually liking me, I probably would. Because if there was a woman with the same body type and personality as me, she would start working at it once there was something to work for, just as I started doing in my previous relationship. But on the other hand, yeah we'd probably both be certifiable as co-dependents within a month.

Well, for now, I still have completing college to at least attend to (although by no means can it force the issue of lack of a relationship out of my mind), but once I'm done and am out in the workforce with my own apartment and all that, then what? Sometimes I feel like I'd rather die at 47 of, say, diabetes, than live out a natural lifespan because in the former case, there would at least be 2 people left alive in this world that love me (my parents). But on the other hand, I feel obligated to them to outlive them so they don't have to go through the trauma of outliving their son, as they are the only two people in this world that love me, so I want to respect their desires.

I can barely even begin to tell you how stupid your whole story makes you sound. You find a girl who asks YOU for oral sex (so you know you don't have to push her for it), you want a girlfriend but accept anyway, even though you've only just started dating, and then get upset at her for it!

There are risks to penetration that are absent or greatly reduced in oral sex, naked cuddling, etc, and that deserve special consideration. This girl you found, aside from being open about what she wanted, also seemed to have a very common-sensical approach about this. Most girls act like even taking their clothes off is a gigantic step, when aside from some social conventions and insecurities it is really harmless.

I myself wouldn't hesitate to go to fondling, oral, etc.--but full out sex would make me pause unless I was so passionate for her I wasn't thinking. Do I someday want to have full sex? Yes, but to me sharing sensual bodily touch and even just being able to be naked in front of each other are higher priorities. We can progress to things with a pregnancy and greater health risk if we are willing to openly consider the consequences.

Maybe she would have even been willing to go all the way eventually had the two of you sat down and calmly addressed the issue of her safety during and after the act. But it seems if you could not even agree on whether you were going to be boyfriend and girlfriend, this kind of open communication would have been foreign to you. It sounds as if you just assumed what was going to happen and then shut your ears and mouth. Too many women become inflexible like this when they realize a guy wants sex, and believe me it's frustrating.

It's amazing that even after you realized you were totally not looking for the same think, you still somehow fault her for not thinking it would work. You met someone whom I would give almost anything to meet--a girl who is willing to tell you what she wants, who is open to intimate activities yet takes caution where it is due. Yet, you managed to royally f**k it up--and then you came here and posted in an off-topic thread to announce to the world how you did it.

Bio, she never said "I want oral sex" I don't know where you're getting that from. And where do you get this naked cuddling/oral sh*t from? This is a girl that has had intercourse with 15-20 guys, you think she's worried about safety or pregnancy?

There's more to the story...she broke up with her bf of 3 years, so she wasn't over him. She thought that if she got to know me, she might get over him and then be ready for the sex, and she wasn't. I'm not mad at her, never said I was, just said I don't want NT game playing.

Um, therange - having sexual partners, whether 2 or 200, has no relevance to whether she has an interest in safety or pregnancy. You presume a correlation where one does not exist.


M.

I'm not blaming her for not having sex, like I said I'm glad we didn't have sex and I have the chance to find a woman it will actually mean something to.