Is it normal in an aspie...

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If you do get permission, make sure it is in WRITING with THEIR SIGNATURES and that you keep it safe. That way it is a legal document. Words aren't always enough in a court.

Umm... that wouldn't work! All getting their permission will do is make sure they know your planning on having sex and that if they walk in on you they aren't shocked or anything. Them signing something just makes things worse since then not only would you be in trouble but they would be on the hook for Endangering the Welfare of a Minor.

He has stated that where he is she is legally not a minor. What it means is that if the parents kick up a stink they have no defence, since by signing the document they gave their permission. In any case, such implications may make them wary of signing such a document in the first place. Oh, and make sure that you have a document with HER consent too in case she cries "RAPE!". One of the rape trials I was a juror on probably wouldn't have happened if she'd given her consent in writing. Then again, I still think this is a really bad idea.

I think the person who had the girl they were possibly going to date who was legal was me. I think where he was his GF was still a minor. But if the girl is legal the parents have no say either way. The having her sign a document just makes it seem like you don't trust her.

The law won't give a f**k if the parents are ok with it. anyone can and probably will lodge a complaint, police will investigate, it won't be subtle, and it will be as fair and balanced as FOX news.

These are all practical reasons not to get involved with a minor.

You may disagree with the moral and ethical reasons all you want, they just don't matter in the face of the practical consequences.


[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uLo_GBJxsms[/youtube]

Yes someone other than the parents could make a complaint, but I believe we were dealing with the parents here. If the parents lodge a complaint, then THEY have no defence.

Indeed, if she is a minor.

True, but throughout this whole thread it sounds like LordofMonkeys is worried about what her parents think anyway, and as far as I can see that is the only way to make sure he has some legal protection if they do feel like prosecuting, despite her being above the age of consent. As for her, it would be too easy to twist the situation by playing the rape card, if she so wished. OTOH if she IS a minor, then he really shouldn't be entertaining the idea AT ALL.

If she is not a minor, he doesn't need legal protection because there is nothing for the parents to prosecute. If she is a minor, the parents' permission is irrelevent, it's still a crime.

You are framing this as though a girl living with her parents is their property. The purpose of statutory rape laws is to protect minors, not to keep sexual control of children in the hands of their parents. If a crime has been committed, it has been committed regardless of the parents' opinion or permission. If it has not, then the parents' anger is also legally irrelevent.

Please understand. I know 18 isn't a magic number for maturity, but it's the number that everyone agreed to as the consenting age. If you really love an underage girl, wait until she's 18. It's better for both of you. Parents are incredibly over-protective of their daughters as it is. Pursuing a relationship right now, even an asexual one, would cause alarm bells to ring in their heads, and you would risk not only bringing annoyances upon yourself, but cause trouble for her as well.

Please understand that most people can't fathom of a relationship without sexual desire, unless there is money involved. People will rightly want to protect the girl from sexual predators, and I'm concerned you will be mistaken for one. My advice to you is to admire her from afar (don't follow her around or anything, that scares people), appreciate how beautiful she is, be someone she can look to for help or support, but don't pursue a relationship.

This seems like it may be hard for you to do, but I believe in my heart that it's the best course of action for you.

I'd forgotten that. I stand corrected. I didn't intend it to come across as the parents having proprietal ownership over their daughter. Sorry for the misunderstanding.

GASP! I CANNOT believe this conversation. On behalf of parents everywhere, I'm looking for that crowbar!

God, I wish this hadn't turned into the discussion of statutory rape that it is now. I really didn't intend for it to go in that direction. I'd rather just leave sex out of the picture and not have to deal with the stuff you guys are talking about. Having sex with a minor is walking on thin ice no matter what precautions you take. I'd take just hugging and kissing over sex any day.

I'm sorry but purely as a hypothetical that's conceptually one of the funniest and most ridiculous things I've ever read on here.

This conversation is hilariously disturbing.

Reminded me of the old "reason" for harems. A ruler had one because he had needs and they needed to be fulfilled. Very similar idea here. I also agree that the concept is quite funny. However, if everyone had their sexual needs taken care of at least weekly... the world would probably be a much much happier and less stressful place.

Getting past the inherent humor in your idea, if you desire an asexual relationship with a 16 y/o woman yet she has sexual needs you aren't willing to fulfill, then is the relationship a sound idea? It sounds to me more as if you're asking whether a simple friendship with someone younger than you is morally wrong. And to me, it's not, not in the slightest. I can see where people are getting upset, because they see a possible pedophile. Although I agree pedophilia is atrocious, I also disagree with the law stating an age of consent. Every single person matures differently, and a case of such a thing to me should always be decided on a case-by-case basis. I've seen 16 y/o's in high school capable of living alone and supporting themselves and I've seen 30 y/o's incapable of it. If you're rationally and emotionally mature enough to take care of yourself, it's my opinion that you're of the age of consent. Obviously the law disagrees with me and I do agree that ever entering a relationship with an illegal minor is a really really really bad idea, no matter your morals.

Okay, I think everyone's misunderstanding me. The responders seem to be divided into those who think I'm repulsed by sex and unwilling to do it under any circumstances, and those who think I'm trying to initiate a sexual relationship with an underage girl. Neither of those is true. Being asexual means I am indifferent to sex; I don't want it or need it, but I don't hate it either. I want to enter into a relationship that might or might not become sexual, depending on what she wants and on her age. I won't have sex with someone who is not legal, whether I have permission or not, and I won't prevent them from having their sexual needs met unless it becomes necessary. Whatever course of action I take would be for the purpose of preventing damage to myself or to the relationship.

Okay, but that still doesn't excuse the disturbing post at the top of page 4 regarding your friend. Getting a friend to satisfy your girlfriend's sexual needs on your behalf is wrong on every single level.

EDIT:



Loli-kun, I've just re-read your post quoted above. Are you actually trying to JUSTIFY sexual intercourse with a minor?! That is, getting parents' permission to have sex with a minor to stop them justifiably prosecuting you? If so, I'm retracting the posts I made in response out of the window. However much you may hate it, the law is there for protection - mainly for her but also for him. Unfortunately there are too many sexual predators out there not to have some kind of legislation against it.

EDITED to tidy up this post.