What was your first kiss like?

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Never on the mouth, I might have received something as a child but I don't remember anything from that, and I do have a very, very good long term memory.

You're 30 and you've never even "tongued" a girl?!?

That's right.

Tonguing sucks, kissing is much more passionate and enjoyable.

I just looked up AvPD and SPD to understand your background. All I can say, is that you should urgently need to practice your social skills and gain more confidence in socially interacting with other people if you ever want to experience the joy of kissing, having sex or feeling reciprocated love. If you know of no way to learn this own your own, get a phychologist or psychiatrist to help you. Maybe you could try some drugs to help you loosen up.... unless you feel no need or desire to have that sort of experiences, of course....

All of us on WrongPlanet are nerds, geeks, weirdos, etc. None of us are "normal" by any standard, yet some of us managed to have at least one serious relationship and several wonderful friendships. Being afraid of social engagement or poorly skilled at it is not an excuse for being lonely for the rest of your life.... unless you're satisfied with that...

Is it by choice that you've never kissed a girl/woman or is it the consequence of your anxieties?

The only intimate way of kissing I know of is the "tongue" version and you can make it as passionate and enjoyable as you please. In fact, I actually taught my last ex-girlfriend how to "tongue" right. Before it was just a mechanical emotionless activity, but after I taught her she actually got sexually aroused by "tonguing"

So I guess it's just a matter of technique

i like both tongin and kissing. kissing is nice because you can feel her lips i dunno its a diffrent sensation from tonging. if you have never felt pasion kissing a girl without tong you should try. try to make the movement you make with your lips when ending a tong kiss repetetive or gently sucking her lower lip its both great fun.

I'll keep that in mind next time I have a girlfriend. For the time being I'll have to do without

I have never been kissed, but I'll try!

Well, it's not entirely by choice that I haven't had the choice of doing that, but on the other hand, it's not something which have made me unhappy either. Inside a relationship I want to do it and soon I'm going to as well..

I have met someone on the net and I'm going to see her in the end of next month or if it get's in the start of february next year. There's much which is going to happen for me, so I have some plans. We have had contact since summer of this year and we've shared a lot together.

I have had visits with psychologists and one psychiatrist in the past, but they have never done anything for me other than helping me with my economy and to be honest, this is something which I need to do by myself any way.

I'm definitely not the social type by nature and avoid things really hard which I don't like, for example going to partys and drinking and stuff, seriously don't like it. I rather spend time with personal development and that's where I am at the present + giving free tech support online.

As a person I'm an extremely calm person and I'm not sure if I would match the criteria for anxious. I'm looking forward on meeting her and the only thing which could set my own emotions in trouble would be if I got trouble with my economy, basically. Nothing makes me worry in my normal state of mind.

I find this WrongPlanet.Net a good place with a lot of opinions and interesting things to read about at times.

Where's the none option on the poll? You should have really added that one because that would be sure to get plenty of votes.

Anyhow, the only thing I can do is image what kissing a person would be like because I've never experienced any.

hmm. what is LSD like, anyways? is it highly addictive?

I really hope it works out for you. I met most of my exes in a similar way (although it never took me more than a month to arrange a date).

Do you know whether she has strong feelings for you? Has she had boyfriends before? Is she confident about herself? It's really important to keep all this in mind if you meet because if she's confident and experienced you may let her make the first move (my first ex made the first move on our first date), however if she's inexperienced and insecure she will expect you to make a move even though you're inexperienced and insecure herself. If you've never even kissed a single girl, this will be quite a challenge...



Personally I haven't had any real benefits from experiences with psychologists either, so I understand your sentiment. Nevertheless, it is really important that you learn how to cope with your social anxieties and get out there communicating with people. Personally I'm a very extraverted person and never really had any major social anxieties except for talking to girls my age I liked (and I still often feel uncomfortable talking to good-looking women I don't know) but I nevertheless had to overcome the same social deficiencies all Aspies face and only by practicing as much as I could was I able to get a more or less normal social life both at work and in private. Most people will always consider me a weirdo, but as long as they see me as a sympathetic weirdo I don't mind.....



I also tend to avoid situations I don't like as much as possible. Tasks that are a burden to me are usually postponed until I can no longer postpone them and I avoid going out just for the sake of going out as well. Nevertheless, when things are really important for my personal development in one way or another (e.g. social events at work or getting my household in shape) I try to force myself to put in an extra effort and nevertheless do the things I hate. You will graduately get used to it and find ways to incorporate them into your live, but it will take discipline and perseverence to get there.



If it's not anxiety (or neurosis), then what's stopping you for being more socially active? Just a lack of interests?

The effects probably differ from person to person, but in my case :
-- It raised my serotonine level up to a point I stay genuinely happy for about 3 days.
-- Depending on the dosage, I saw a variety of weird closed-eye visuals and in some cases even open-eye visuals. If you're mentally unstable, this might be dangerous and could cause psychosis.
-- It lasts for at least 8 hours, so you should take it in the afternoon during a weekend or a day off.
-- I had no signs of addiction at all.
-- Colors get brighter and your environment starts twirling a bit
-- You have more access to your subconscious and your consciousness feels almost unlimited, but your ability to speak coherent sentences and your ability to control your body is reduced (e.g. less hand-eye coordination or poorer blatter control).
-- The effect of music and film is different and more powerful.

It's pretty hard to describe all the effects, but this should give an idea.

I was just asked by makuranososhi no longer to post on the topic of illegal drugs in the public parts of this forum because some less openminded people may feel uncomfortable with it. I suggest if you seek more advice you send me a private message.

That is a good question. I would say: lack of interest and also I often have suspicions that it's gonna cost some money as well, and so I generally don't feel very good about it.

I trained martial arts a few years ago, and it was something which involved both personal development and the social part, I stopped because of health reasons and because of my low economy.

I enjoy spending much of my time on internet and investigating new technologies and I'm also extremely interested in science in different fields. I'm not sure what social events that I would feel very comfortable about.

More math studies from my part in the beginning of next year, it's the most social thing I can think of.. Hmm.. I'm not religious either which excludes everything in that as well.