Bars/clubs not for aspies.

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Well, this is a German deli/bar that my friends and I frequent. I like it a lot. Sure drinks are bit pricey but I'm there to talk to my friends. The owner lets you eat buffet style on whatever he's serving for $5, which isn't bad. He doesn't play music, he has the TV on either the Food Network or TBS. It's not loud (until we get there anyway) and the stereotypical frat boys and sorority girls stay away, which I like. I guess it's more of a lounge with drinks than a bar. ^_^

Agreed. Too small, too noisy. I have found this summer that I'm slightly overcoming my sensory overload issues slightly. Ever since a hockey game incident this year (too embarrassing and painful to discuss), I stay away from those.

Pubs/Bars can be very nice in the afternoon.

2-4:30. After the lunch time crowd have gone and before the after work crowd arrive.

They are especially good in the summer if you can sit outside. It is great that smoking has been banned.

Nice for a quiet drink with a friend. Maybe not so good for meeting potential dates. )

i agree that they are crude weapons. i would neither choose a bar nor a club to resolve an issue that required a forceful solution.


seriously, i have no interest in pubs except if they are frequented by well behaved people, and they have a restaurant in them. i do not care to interact with anyone, but if they are well behaved then they will get out of my way when i walk to the table i want to sit at, and they will allow me my privacy. i can not be bothered to cook complicated dishes like beef stroganoff etc, so i will go to a tavern to eat interesting things that are not available in takeaway shops.

as soon as i am finished eating my meal, i go home.

I am frequently caught dead in bars and clubs. That is, I go alone, don't drink, and don't talk to anybody, just look around and sit in a corner or something. I see plenty of attractive women in the bars I go to, but I don't know how to approach them so I don't. I've been doing this for decades with no good results, which I suppose is insane. I go less often now, and with the mindset that I am simply going to look at pretty girls, without putting that fake pressure on myself that "tonight's the night" or anything.

I don't go to clubs in particular because they honestly terrify me. I don't do too well in large crowds as it is because I get emotional overload from everyone around me. That combined with the flashing lights and loud bass-heavy music just sends me into shutdown mode.

Calm bars are usually OK, however. And as strange as it might seem, I actually enjoy going to metal concerts if I'm in the front row (easy to do when you're a short, cute girl). Further back in the crowd, however, and I do start to panic.

You're the only woman I've heard of, apart from journalists for which it's their job to go to the front to take photographs, who is OK with going to the front at a concert on her own. Many I've spoken to are terrified of being crushed to death, for one.

The very front row is actually not too bad at the metal shows I like to go to. 2nd row and back, however...that's not so fun. I'm not big enough to withstand the mosh pits. >_< I'm good friends with one band in particular, so I'm always assured of having a stage-edge spot with them. For the others, I just make sure to show up early enough that I'll have the pick of the floor standing room.

I don't think bars are for Aspies either.

I've never found it very bad at the front either, particularly at smaller venues, but I wondered if that just had to do with being the tall guy who gets in the way or just being fortunate.

I love a good mosh and am always at the front at metal fests! And I am never the only girl either|!

I like seeing girls at metal shows, I just have not met one at a show yet.

I can't do mosh pits in big venues. Smaller venues, smaller pits - I might be drunk enough to jump in. Otherwise, I'll stay towards the back.

I don't see any problems with clubs/bars - just get some liquor in you, and have fun!

Although if you are the type who doesn't like to party/go wild, and would prefer to stand in the corner, then yeah, the club scene probably isn't for you. This has nothing to do with asperger's though.

I do think bars, and to a lesser extent clubs, are a great way to escape your comfort zone by meeting people you wouldn't otherwise meet. Everyone there just wants to have a good time. So relax, have fun, and don't be afraid to meet poeple. : )

If my experience is any indication, bars/clubs are definitely NOT for aspies. What I've basically seen every time I've been to bars is guys and gals typically arrive together. I'm in a more rural location, so there's probably a big difference between country bar scenes and big city bar scenes. And as such I've seen NO indication in bars that I'd have a remote chance of picking up a gal.

There IS another solution, though. Learn to play guitar, piano, bass, or drums (bass is easier), but together a band, learn a few sets worth of music, and play gigs. You don't have to put on any kind of front and end up looking like an idiot. You are able to keep a certain are of mystery about you, that certain aloof, untouchable, which really draws people in. Strike up a conversation, let the other person dominate the conversation, and you might leave being the lucky guy.

Of course, playing in a band there IS the issue of setting up/tearing down the stage, but some chick who is JUST DRUNK ENOUGH at 3am MIGHT be interested in hanging out or more. And of course, there IS that 10-15 minute break between sets...

Not everyone here is musically inclined. I suppose that's why the drum was invented.

This style of approach works for me, and I play the tuba... I guess jazz is jazz.

Right. But we aspies DO tend to find it easy to focus intently on a small number of things for a great length of time.

Put in the same number of hours playing bass that you do on anything else you enjoy, and you'll be a pro in a matter of days. Been there, done that!

lol

I'm a pathetic guitarist, though. I recently took up classical guitar, which went well. But I only get about 5 songs in the band I play with. It's all good, though. I'm a technological god behind the keyboards, and there's a certain "cool" factor that far outweighs the "geek" factor, and chicks dig that.