Help Tim Tex attract a partner

Post Reply New Topic

Whining is not against the rules of this site - you can check for yourself.

I've noticed and appreciated your positive attitude in some threads, but I think you're way too harsh on Tim, especially about his physical appearance. He has some really good features, just looks a bit sloppy in that picture.

Could people please remember that the OP actually wants to help not to destroy any confidence Tim might have - some of the comments here aren't constructive in any way but plain mean and way too biased. Those who can't or don't want to help should mind their own business - joining in just to tear someone a new assh@le shows no class and a very ugly side of you.

There, I found a polite way to say it.

Like anyone else, I have an ugly side when I'm presented with the same thing over and over again. I was Tim and Toad a few years ago, and if there had been a "TheRange" on the message boards I went on, maybe it wouldn't have took me so long to change my life.

My problem isn't Tim's looks. It's his expectations and wanting to take, take, take, and not wanting to make any changes, physically, or otherwise.

There's a difference between Tim and Toad. Toad just wants any girlfriend that likes him. That's why you don't see me getting on his appearance. When Tim wants some horny, catholic Jessica Rabbit (which he has said), he needs a reality check. Do I go overboard? Yes. I'm an opinionated, brutally honest Aspie. But this blame-game by Tim, blaming everything from location to his political views, as to why he can't get women...instead of getting to know himself for the first time in his life...is infuriating, especially when me, HaleBopp, and others get warned by the mods for trying to help and the whiners are allowed to do whatever they want.

Last edited by therange on 27 Feb 2010, 3:32 am, edited 1 time in total.

I agree, you should tone it down range, Tim is in a rut and doesn't deserve being picked on, who doesn't whine on this site I have a wobbly every other week

Let me also say that wanting a girlfriend when you're clearly not happy with your life or yourself and have an indifference to improving your life is selfish.

I shouldn't pinpoint Tim's looks (and won't anymore unless it's to make a helpful suggestion) because he could look like Tom Brady and he would eventually alienate a woman with his current mindset.

While some men claim it's unfair that women, depressed or not, can find a partner with ease, and a man has to go through holy hell to meet a girlfriend, that's the way the world works. Do you think women like it that they can get a date just because a guy thinks he has a chance of getting in her pants?

Woman like a man with a plan. On my last date, the woman was interested in knowing what I had planned for the future. Tim's 30 and he isn't going to find someone his age to pontificate about South Park.

When I've seen a waitress with literally one arm and a boy with prostetic legs playing football, and I see Tim day by day complaining about not having a sexy girlfriend, it's easy to get frustrated.

therange, I understand your frustrations, I even sympathise with some of them, but try to remember - if he's being unreasonable, he's the first one who suffers because of it. And whatever worked for you, might not work for him, people are very, very different.

I was merely pleading to keep this thread civil - if you know it will tick you off you can just ignore it (I never post in the L&D forum for exactly the same reason). I think this thread was created to offer help not to vent our frustrations about Tim.

Ok, well the first suggestion would be for him to see a therapist if he isn't already. Also find out if his depression is chemical and get on the right meds if needed.

He doesn't want to hear this, he's hungry for results...but taking a year or two and completely turning around your life in every single aspect is what's needed before any girlfriend comes into the picture.

While my opinion of Tim's appearance is just that, an opinion, it's a fact that the short on the sides, poofy on top haircut isn't going to attract many women. I don't know what his hair currently looks like, but he could ask a female stylist what she thinks would look good on him.

I think Tim should step back and take a good look at himself, and get a good idea of what kind of girls he's capable of being compatible with. I honestly don't think he has a clue who he is, so he gets' frustrated when he can't get his 'dream girl', then assumes it's some simple "flaw" of his. Everybody has dreams, but, you have to know who you are, before you know who you can attract.

If Tim is suffering from extreme depression and low self-esteem, which seems to be the case, the only women he's currently going to attract are women with extreme depression and low self-esteem, and he's made it clear he doesn't want that.

I would suggest completely forgetting about meeting women for the time being and re-organizing his life.

Range, I'm seriously starting to think, based on your posts, that you seem like nothing but a bully. You keep talking about "helping" other people and then go on to make hurtful comments. This is a support forum, a place for the downtrodden aspies to escape to when the real world is being really destructive, and it's also a place where people with no other place to talk about their (oftentimes traumatic) experiences can come to and just let it all out. That's why whining and coddling are tolerated to the extent that they are.

Many of us, myself included, were bullied at some point in their lives, and to be honest, the behavior you've exhibited on these boards (that i've seen, anyway) seems to emulate that behavior. I'm not saying that you are one, nor do you seem to derive enjoyment from what you do here (as an actual bully would), I'm just saying that that is what your behavior seems like to those it's directed towards.

Maybe if you weren't so incredibly harsh, people would listen to you more. I was far more receptive to the likes of Sound, Janissy, and HopeGrows than you. In particular, it was Sound's arguments that really convinced me that a therapist was a good idea, not yours. If you really want to help as you say you do (and I still believe that you really do), you might benefit from their examples.

Oh, and talking about thread hijacking... you seem to have learned well.

Toad, you can continue to play the victim card all you want, but it isn't going to help you land a girlfriend.

The majority is with me, they just aren't as vocal about it. Of course, you'll have a few people say "TheRange is being mean, you're welcome here Toad" but the amount of complaining about your complaining, you have no idea.

This isn't about me or my getting a girlfriend at all, this is about Tim. I don't care if you keep posting the same stuff about me all the time (I got used to being bullied by the time i got into high school), but I will not stand idly by and watch you destroy someone else.

Toad, just quit while you're ahead, really.

no, you're one that should be quitting. There's quite a few people here (names both you and I have mentioned in this thread) that can give the same critical advice that you do without sounding like a jerk in the process.

LOL, I know exactly what you're thinking.



*back to lurking*

I am loathe to get into this, but the thread is diving fast.

therange, ToadOfSteel is right. I think you oughta cool it, and hold off from posting in this thread for a bit. Even without criticism, I'm sure that this thread - where everyone's trying to tell Tim what to do - is very stressful. Anything to keep that level of stress down would probably help Tim find positive motivation and good results. If this thread were for me, and you kept posting things like you've been posting, I'd be about ready to say, "f**k it, not worth it."

I recognize that sometimes you just gotta be real, and I agree. But there's also times where it's better to let it be. This thread represents a very positive thing, but a positive tone is important for it to fulfil it's goal.