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Ebi
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17 May 2006, 9:52 pm

If you discount two or three half-baked attempts at high school and Uni, no.

And I'm 32, so I better do something about it fast... :?

Though I must say, I have been coming to terms with AS (which joined to shyness is sort of the culprit for my previous GF-less life) but there's still plenty of work to do.


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Ebi
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17 May 2006, 10:06 pm

Aspie1 wrote:
I never went out on a real date until the age of 18. And I never had a girlfriend to this day (I'm 22). For the longest time, it really frustrated me. But six months ago, I discovered escort agencies in the Chicago area. That pretty much eliminated any frustration with not having had a girlfriend. I now view a romantic relationship purely as a job where the "job-related expenses" are far greater than the "salary" it pays you. I'm very content with spending $300 once a month for a one-hour appointment. It takes the edge off, keeps my self-esteem up, and doesn't require me to do any stupid romantic things. Most importantly, it's actually cheaper than "maintaining" most relationships.


Not the most ideal solution, but hey, sometimes a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do...

I really won't wish to go that far, but I'm not willing to wait forever either. We'll see.


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emp
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17 May 2006, 10:33 pm

YellowBird wrote:
I've had a disastrous online relationship,


Is there any other kind of online relationship? :)

Online friendships are fine tho'.



bt1978
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18 May 2006, 2:50 am

Never had a proper gf, just a couple of online ones, even though I'm attracted to women. Hell, I didn't even kiss a girl until last year at the age of 27. I've gone on dates with girls, starting when I was 19, but nothing ever eventuated. I guess you could say I'm a late bloomer. :D

I've had two close relationships with bf's though, first when I was 18, the second a pretty intense and tumultuous on-and-off one that lasted for three years. But I'm not really sure if they count, because guys are easier than a kindergarten spelling test. :)

Hmmm, that also links into my theory as to why female Aspies IN GENERAL find it so much easier to start relationships than male Aspies -- because guys are sl*ts. :P



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18 May 2006, 3:08 am

Only short online relationships.
I had an on-and-off relationship online with a girl who found my e-mail adress on a messageboard for bassplayers. She was a kind of groupie and I actually was flattered, but it lurked in my mind all the time that all I wanted was to sleep with her. I didn't hear from her for over 1 1/2 when she, to my surprise wanted me as a msn contact. Then I decieded to tell her that I wasn't really a musician, that I "was ret*d" and obese and that I only wanted sex with her. I'm never going to try to get into contact with women again.
I'm severely bullied in my hometown because people think I'm gay but having no chance of leaving (I have no chance of passing a high school exam and I live on social security), I have to bite my teeth together and accept that I have to live here for the rest of my life, bullying or not.



ion
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18 May 2006, 3:39 am

Once. Got me one who was straight enough with her feelings to say it out loud.
That was nice, however it didn't work out in the end because we lived so far away and could rarely meet.

What I'm wondering is: How do you know?
I have friends and so that would get girlfriends and boyfriends and they're like "Oh, we're together now, he's my boyfriend..." and I ask them "How do you know?", and they can't answer.
I've been trying to find out if there's some secret signal that NT's can interpret, because if it is I have several occations where I suspect I might have received one and never realized. That's kind of a downside of not being able to read social interactions.
I don't like their way of beating about the bush like that.



ion
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18 May 2006, 3:54 am

Lonermutant wrote:
Then I decieded to tell her that I wasn't really a musician, that I "was ret*d" and obese and that I only wanted sex with her.

Well, that ought to scare her away.

Lonermutant wrote:
I'm never going to try to get into contact with women again.
I'm severely bullied in my hometown because people think I'm gay but having no chance of leaving (I have no chance of passing a high school exam and I live on social security), I have to bite my teeth together and accept that I have to live here for the rest of my life, bullying or not.


No you don't. Don't settle for less. That you are unhappy with your life tells you that you need to do something about it.
Figure out what you want with your life, or if you're like me and can't figure out, just take the least uninteresting subject and run with it.
Take one step at a time and figure out where to go next with every step.
Or if you know what you want: "Dreams come to life where there is a plan of action".
Forget about women for now. That might solve itself or it might not, but the worst scenario if you do something is at least as good as the best scenario if you don't do anything.
When you set your mind upon a goal and work to get there, the universe will reveal the path you must take, but it will also throw at you all the obstacles that you must pass, and it is vital for your success that you do not give up when meeting one of them.



Lonermutant
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18 May 2006, 4:05 am

I have absolutely no chance ever of getting an ordinary job or a girlfriend.



Xuincherguixe
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18 May 2006, 4:24 am

LonerMutant wrote:
I have absolutely no chance ever of getting an ordinary job or a girlfriend.


Ordinary jobs are vastly over rated.

Find an unordinary "job".



Lonermutant
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18 May 2006, 4:26 am

When you can't do 6th grade math like me, finding any job is impossible.



Xuincherguixe
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18 May 2006, 4:48 am

There is more then one way to earn a living.

With not being good at math it would be hard, but then I say that as someone who uses math constantly.

I'm thinking about writting a program that would trade on the stock market independantly of myself. I mention that specifically because it's not anything like a job.



sweetpraline
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18 May 2006, 7:16 pm

bt1978 wrote:
Hmmm, that also links into my theory as to why female Aspies IN GENERAL find it so much easier to start relationships than male Aspies -- because guys are sl*ts. :P


I disagree, it is not easier for female Aspies to date. I am a female and I have approached guys and they literally laughed in my face. I have went to dances and and asked guys to dance. They tell me "No". Yet, five minutes later I see them dancing and having a good time with some other girl.



bt1978
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19 May 2006, 9:56 am

sweetpraline wrote:
I disagree, it is not easier for female Aspies to date. I am a female and I have approached guys and they literally laughed in my face. I have went to dances and and asked guys to dance. They tell me "No". Yet, five minutes later I see them dancing and having a good time with some other girl.
That's why I wrote in caps "IN GENERAL". I can only judge these things by the Aspies I've actually known online and/or met. It seems to me that every female Aspie over 20 has been or is in a long-term heterosexual relationship, whereas many male Aspies I know struggle with even the elementaries of relationships (e.g., dating, reading non-verbal signals from the opposite sex, etc.)

Remember, SweetP, I did say IN GENERAL. :D



ion
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19 May 2006, 11:15 am

Lonermutant wrote:
When you can't do 6th grade math like me, finding any job is impossible.


Math is severely overrated.
I do a lot of graphics programming, which is one of the most math intensive kinds, and at worst I have to deal with division, barely.

What CAN you do? Give me what you've got! :D



Lonermutant
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19 May 2006, 1:02 pm

ion wrote:
Lonermutant wrote:
When you can't do 6th grade math like me, finding any job is impossible.


Math is severely overrated.
I do a lot of graphics programming, which is one of the most math intensive kinds, and at worst I have to deal with division, barely.

What CAN you do? Give me what you've got! :D



You need math if you're to ever graduate high school. Because of my math problems, I don't care about getting an education anymore.



ion
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19 May 2006, 7:39 pm

Perhaps you have dyscalculia?
I'm sure the high school can work something out for you.
They do it all the time for dyslexic people. At least here.

When you have graduated high school, just chose something you like that doesn't involve numbers.

Just give it a try at least, ok?