Older women?

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Honestly in my case, I am into younger girls then my age, not too much younger though.

Yeah, in America, the minute a woman gets married, it's a downhill spiral from there. At least in suburban America, aka hell. Women stop caring about their looks, stop wearing pretty clothes and everything, which is why older women who don't fall into that trap are so attractive, because they're exceptional. In Europe, especially Eastern Europe and Scandinavia, this is not the case, women don't end up looking like their husbands, because European women realize that they should make themselves look half decent whether or not they are married.

My mom is a good example, as weird as this sounds. She's American but she was living in Serbia when I was born, and then when we came back to America she was in her early 30's, and she had to make herself attractive to find a boyfriend. So she keeps up with her appearance, wears makeup and keeps a nice wardrobe, it didn't matter that we were poor, she has had to settle for nothing but the type she likes.

The social worker I was talking about 3 posts up is another good example, she's the most attractive woman I've met in America because it seemed like she doesn't want to let herself go like that.

Don't worry about it, I wanted to reply back sooner as well, but I was leaving when I noticed it, so could not respond. Today I feel like I
am suffering from jet-lag, so I hope I make some sense, if not, just ask for clarification. I am trying to reset my 'internal clock' after 24+ hours of hell, which just added to my already slightly messed up processes..
Oddly, I think we are both trying to say the same thing, in a way - but
are coming across differently. To a point. I also could have picked different wording.





This is where/why I think we are somewhat agreeing. When you worded it that way, it sounds close to how I am used to the usage of the word, now.
I think we are just using different words/terms to describe our definition, which is adding to the confusion. I will try to explain how I see it again, and why near the end, I said it fit somewhat to how I see it.

Take away the woman and try seeing it as I did/do the usage of the word. I had used fire before and will try again. Due to it can be the same thing, yet not have the same intensity as other fires. Objects also work better for me, because when it comes to humans, I hardly ever remember a face and I am more drawn to the inner then the outer. I am more likely to say someone is beautiful/sexy and confuse people, because most of the time, people don't see the individual how I see them. This has also caused confusion both ways, when the individual I have been with is 'societies general definition of a beautiful male'.
This is definitely one of those times I wish people could just 'see' inside of my brain, and I, theirs. lol <-- This will come clearer after, I hope.

Flames/Fire can be seen as pretty, beautiful and devastatingly beautiful..
- A candle flame is 'pretty', but it is harder for some people to see just how 'beautiful' a flame can be with that small of a sample.
- A camp fire is 'prettier' then a candle flame, because more of the natural 'beauty' can be seen with the naked eye. There are more changes of colours and other things about the camp fire that can draw a person to it.
- A forest fire is 'devastatingly beautiful'. Most individuals look at forest fires and all they see is the 'destruction'/ 'destroying' of what is in the flames path, which generally causes only one set of 'feelings'/'beliefs'. Few people, I think, can look at a forest fire and look past what it is doing or going to do, and see the incredible beauty of it. This is why I believe you and I are somewhat saying/seeing the same thing.

"the fames beauty was so intense that it overwhelmed/devastated all that came in contact with it,"



If you read a newspaper heading that says 'Forest fires more devastating this year then past five' how would you read that?

Can you see what I mean?
I could have used another comparison, but most women do not like being compared to vehicles.

The other example I had used, was women causing wars. That is not an unrealistic or incorrect use of the word and has been used in history and mythology
to describe a woman of 'devastating beauty'.



Then there is the story of Judith, from The Book of Judith. Some say it was her intelligence, cunning and 'God's help', others say it was her beauty that helped her do what she did, to make her a heroine.



I agree, the meaning isn't actually 'changing', however, there could be something else that happens, that the speaker or writer has no control over.
Again, I really wish at times people could just connect to my brain and mine theirs to understand, as it really would make things so much easier.
I will try to explain this as best as I can, again feel free for more clarification.

The speaker/writer has little to no control over how the person hearing/reading the word is (for lack of better terms) e/affected or what feelings it produces. That is when it comes down to the individuals 'definition'/'understanding(s) and no matter how many dictionaries and thesauruses they have, it may not fit any or it may just make matters worse.

Example;
2 shirts, both exactly the same, both cost the same amount, but are owned by two different individuals.
Both individuals rip their identical copy of the shirt; same place, same size of rip.
Individual A response - crap, I rip my shirt. Oh well, nothing that a needle and thread won't fix. - they sew it.
Individual B response - crap, I rip my shirt. Oh well, nothing that I can do about it now, its destroyed. - they throw it into the bin.

The word 'love' is another one that can lead to confusion.
Can you see what I mean, and how I could and did need to ask what way you were meaning the word 'devastating'?







1) No, I am familiar with the word and that use of it, that is why I asked for clarification as to how you were using it to make certain I was reading it the way you, the writer, intended it to be read. For me, there was a couple ways it could be taken, as you can see. If you had placed the word beauty or beautiful in the section that had devastating in it, then we wouldn't be having this discussion. I am personally glad though that you did not add that word, and that we are having this discussion. The reason being, is that it is making some things a bit more clearer and giving me another way to view things that are not 'really' connected to the word but more so the overall issue. However it is bothering me that we have completely high-jacked this thread, but I would like to continue this topic, so I am wondering if a mod would split the thread and it could continue in a more suitable area.

2) I had to think about this for a few minutes and I believe that it is not used where I live now. Or it is one that was removed and is being placed back in. However, because I have never lived in just one place all my life and with one type of people, this is not the reason. I think I am starting to understand though and the fact that it is a synecdoche possibly plays a big part of it.




hmmm... I should maybe think about starting to look at peoples profiles to see what the person has said in that section. We all know labels are so handy to have to judge the contents of a tin. Except, what if the label is blurry or worn down or has been weathered or has had other things done to it.. "It does exactly what it says on the tin" may not actually be the case.

I believe that I may be of the spectrum, but as my profile says, I do not know if I am.
Yes, I have AS traits and a lot of them have been since childhood. Yes I would like an assessment done, however I am not certain that it would be correct
if it said I was of the spectrum or if I would believe it and feel like 'yes, this is it, I now KNOW that I am of the spectrum'. Simply because I am an adult and my life experiences have been so vast and different that at some point, they had to in some ways 'help structure' or develop some of my 'personality traits' - character traits

I know when I was around 7 years old I had an assessment of some sort done on me, I have been trying to locate that assessment. Depending on what kind it was, it may hold more of a key then any that could be done now.

But believing and knowing something is completely different imo and basing a diagnosis off of a group of character traits and attaching a label, does not work for me, sorry if that offends anyone, but that is how I feel for myself. It would be like looking in my closet and seeing all the black I own and labelling me goth because of it.

Some of the test though, I am finding very interesting. I had a learning assessment done not long ago, it said I show signs of dysnomia, so I got labelled with that as well as some other learning differences. Looking that up is one of the reasons I am here, because the dysnomia label, doesn't sit right with me..



lol.. well after having 'read' the caption 3 or 4 times I was able to finally see where the words 'devastating angle' were in the caption - some fonts I have problems with.
However, I did not read it as 'ravishing' or 'destructive'. Because Michael Strange is talking about the fashions worn by his two 'alter egos', I read it as the 'impressive', 'dramatic' or 'striking' type definition.

You helped, but probably not how you think you did. For me anyway.

Hopefully that /\/\ explains it better. Also, metaphors can be very much like body language to me.

I suspect there is some truth to the above.

Another aspect may be the entitlement attitude that most younger women seem to have nowadays. By this I mean the attitude that because they are women they are automatically entitled to the "best" men out there (how ever you want to define that) whilst rejecting any man who does not meet their often unreasonable criteria in any minor way. Not that most younger women in modern society have much to offer anyway. Basically they just need to get over themselves. In simply terms, younger women have a tendancy to see the world from a purely superficial point of view.

Older women tend to see the world in a more realistic perspective: Mainly that they are part of the world and not the centre of it. Older women tend to be more interested in conversation and what actually makes people tick. Having a meaningful conversation with an older women is not hard as they tend to realise they need to contribute towards communication. They also tend to appreciate people for whom they are. That is not to say I think older women are easy. Quit the opposite but at least they are worth talking to in the first instance.

For example, my presentation as an Aspie tends to put off most younger women on sight. On the other hand, I have a number of older female acquaintences whom I get along quite well with.

Did you mention your age? Obviously if you're still in school then she could get in a lot of trouble for dating you, and if it was a long time ago then she might not remember much about you.

Anyway, Facebooking her sounds okay, whatever the circumstances, because it's not uncommon for teachers to be Facebook friends with former students. It's unclear where it will lead though.


It sounds like as you were writing you came to understand this use of "devastating," since impressive and striking are consistent with the intended meaning. The only thing that everyone needs to agree on is that "the woman was devastatingly beautiful" ultimately means "the woman was attractive." It has nothing to do with the literal meaning of the word devastating. Meanwhile, "the fire was devastating" means something like "the fire was destructive."

Interpreting the word "devastating" literally in this context can be funny. The notion of beautiful women being destructive, or the idea of finding beauty in fires, is very clever. It made me laugh. Thank you for taking the time to write it out.

Encountering an unexpected phrase like this can be confusing. If you were unfamiliar with the use of the word "phat" to mean good, and someone told you that your shoes looked phat, you would think they were saying your shoes looked wide. Similarly, taking devastating literally in this context (i.e. the one discussed above) is a misinterpretation.

No. I did not just come to understand that meaning. For me, it has to fit the context. Because it was fashion, it would have a different definition of the word.

As for the notion..
It is not them being destructive, but in a way causing destruction.. “A face that could launch a thousand ships”

Have you never looked at a fire?



Yes I agree that it was. And that IS why I asked you, to clarify in the first place. Because you had said devastating, without adding another part to fit the context, like beautiful, in the original post of yours. At the very end (yes I know I tend to write a lot) I say, that if you meant it that way, then yes it would work.
I also said, I could have used a better word then destroyed.

I think the problem is, that your simply not understanding me and that could be due to a couple different things.
Did you read the section on Helen and Judith? Those are both women, that when I was in grade school, we were taught were "devastatingly beautiful."

My Aspie side has always preferred older women for long term relationships and most of the women I've been with were always 3-4 years older then me. My NT side just wants to play around with same aged people, and if i prefer someone that is same age or younger then it's just to have fun, normally and sexually, but no commitments.

Surya:
It sounds like you're a little offended; be assured that nothing written above was intended that way.

The original post should be interpreted as saying that, at my current age of 27, women in their 20's, 30's, and 40's tend to seem the most attractive (but that's not a rule). All of the rest of the stuff seems irrelevant to my point and this thread. If you have something else to add about my use of the word "devastating," feel free to pm me.

Thanks for the response. I'm 16, almost 17, and where I'm from (Eastern Europe) that is old enough, but in the state I live in now, the age of consent is 17.

I don't know, I just thought I could Facebook her and ask if she wants to have coffee with me or something? Or is that way out of line? Thanks for your help.