How low can you go?

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While I don't see myself as going low, I have recently downplayed any references to my legendary criteria, mainly because I have explained them more thoroughly as of late.

I for one agree with RICKY about the flowery garbage. Where do people come up with that stuff? fairy tales? Relationships involve people, and people are anything but models of idealism.

Although some folks do eventually find true love, there's a lot of worldly crap to dig thru before you get there. So, much in fact, that there's no way to bypass it like TOS wants to do.

A person looking for a quick lay is more likely to find true love than someone seeking it. They have an immediate, realistic goal which they can learn from and build upon.

I thought they fall in love cuz of the sex

You're actually more likely to find love if you're not looking for anything at all, that's how it usually happens.

Definately agree here. However, few are extraverted enough for it to happen that way.

Most people need motivation to get out there and expose themselves to various options. Sex is a pretty strong motivator.

Fair point, though you don't always need to be extraverted, you could happen to meet someone at your job, online, etc.

I never said I was looking for this "true love" (as fairy tales would define it anyway). I want someone to spend the rest of my life with. Sure there would be disagreements. Sure there would be fights. But like anyone else in my family now, we'd eventually get past the fight and emerge with stronger bonds for it. The number one thing I've been looking for is to continue my family, and unless human cloning is invented in the next 60 years, I can't do it alone.

True love, life partner; close enough. No need to split hairs.

The point still remians though. To get something as strong as either of those, there's a ton of real-world basics you'll have to make it thru first.

Except they're not. The former is a non-existent entity only found in fairy tales, and ends with a "happily ever after", with no mention of any other events happening after said fairy tale is over, while a life partner will still have its own lifelong hurdles, but at least then I will actually be living, as opposed to this drab existence I have now.

You seem to group together everything that is an emotional romantic connection as some kind of esoteric thing that requires a sexual base to survive. And you're free to believe that, I don't have a problem with that particular approach existing. But I still think it's going in the wrong order for me. A sexual relationship without the stabilizing emotional connection will die out rather quickly. Not something to base the rest of my life on.

I'm not denying that there will be fights and bad times, but those are things that can be worked through if the dedication is present. That's my problem: I tried my hardest to make my last relationship work, and it still didn't. Therefore, I must not be good enough to have a relationship.

This need for validation is really hurting you. You'll have a hard time finding anyone who will work as hard as you want them to just to make you feel alive.

You have to work thru this neediness before you can move any further.

Everyone fits into one of two categories for me: Those who are perfect for me, and those in whom I have no interest.

I am awesome. I am an incredible example of an aspie individual, and I deserve the absolute best. There is no reason to settle, because wonderful people will be drawn to me, since like attracts like. Everything I'm not good at, I will work to improve until I'm the best at that too. I can get everything I want, because I deserve it and I'm willing to work to get it.

The above attitude is the single most important key to getting everything you want in life.

I lowered my "standards". I SWORE I'd never date anyone divorced or with kids (which I tend to dislike) and I never wanted to have kids or be a mom myself. I also swore I'd never get married. Guess what? The guy I met and fell in love with and MARRIED is divorced with a child from a previous marriage and we are living the "happy ever after"...so there!

He's been told this only about a hundred times. He won't listen, or he doesn't believe it, or doesn't know how to help himself. I don't know which.

The very OP is flawed. He speaks of lowering his standards as if he's shopping for a used car. Like he just decided that a 4-cylinder is good enough for him.

It's a person you speak of, not a thing, man! What are you going to do for her? How are you going to attract her and keep her?

You really really need to STOP looking for a relationship for like a year. Just stop, and work on yourself.

I think that's a typical guy thing. I known guys who actually do compare relationships/partners to buying cars & the sad thing is those bastards have no problems getting women
That could be me & Toad's problem. We think of women as individuals instead of as objects

That is so true about the mutual relationship part. If only a certain friend of mine would heed that advice, and realize that nobody is 100% emotionally self-sufficient, her life would be a whole lot easier.

Umm, no. I'm saying that anyone that likes me back is good enough for me, because this is a real person we're talking about. If I was shopping for a used car I wouldn't give two s**ts whether the car likes me or not. But seeing as how her liking me is kind of a pre-requisite to any relationship, I just have to do that in order to be successful and start turning my situation around. Everything else is just fluff, really, including whether I'm attracted to her or not (because I become attracted over time to anyone who shows the slightest interest in me).

You guys out there (I'm not naming names but you know who you are) looking for quick flings are the ones that are "car shopping". You care only about yourselves and your own gratification.