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Surya
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01 Aug 2010, 7:34 pm

Zara wrote:
I've always under the assumption that whoever does the asking out pays and that's the way I've done things. I've seen it as I'm treating them to a good time so naturally I cover it.
I don't mind a 50/50 split though.


I said the same thing a page back.. or on another thread maybe lol.. they are starting to all sound the same. 50/50 is fine, or if one has tickets to something the other should pay for the meal.

But, I am wondering how many have noticed, that mostly it all seems to come down to communication. And if people are all using the riddles I have read as suggestions posted here, I can see why.

If everyone said what they meant, then maybe there would not be confusion.
Sure, some may think it is rude, BUT, sooner or later, they would adjust to that being rude.

Like someone used the term broad, someone did not like it, they considered it rude and sexist or something..

I have no problem with being called a broad, or a twat. I do not see why people have an issue with the words.

How many parents try teaching their children to use real words, and say what they mean?

Then later on in life that rule changes and it is all about decoding the riddles.

Well, no wonder people do not have a friggen clue what others are on about.

They look like they mean one thing, but they are saying another..



OneStepBeyond
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01 Aug 2010, 8:03 pm

I also have this problem with women, not just men, like a woman at work who always buys my food and then wont let me pay her back, or argues with me for ages when we're at a bar buying some drinks. I dont like other people paying for everything for me, regardless of what sex they are or whether im in a relationship with them

Who_Am_I wrote:
OneStepBeyond wrote:
Who_Am_I wrote:
I hate having my partner pay for everything in a relationship. I want to be an equal partner, not a helpless child who has to be looked after. I am an adult, I earn my own money, and I am capable of paying for my own meal. I don't want to be looked after; I'm not a f***ing 3-year-old.


ack, i once dated someone who insisted on paying for everything and it was annoying as hell. he wouldnt even let me pay for one drink or my own ticket to a place id suggested going. drove me nuts but in the end i gave up even offering because it was just too frustrating arguing about it

i dont see why they shouldnt pay sometimes though. its just a nice thing to do and shouldnt be some huge issue?


I don't have a problem with someone paying sometimes, just as long as they don't get all pouty and act as though I've castrated them when I try to return the favour.


oh, the second part of my post wasnt directed at you btw. i agreed with what you said.



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01 Aug 2010, 10:45 pm

Who_Am_I wrote:
OneStepBeyond wrote:
ack, i once dated someone who insisted on paying for everything and it was annoying as hell. he wouldnt even let me pay for one drink or my own ticket to a place id suggested going. drove me nuts but in the end i gave up even offering because it was just too frustrating arguing about it

i dont see why they shouldnt pay sometimes though. its just a nice thing to do and shouldnt be some huge issue?


I don't have a problem with someone paying sometimes, just as long as they don't get all pouty and act as though I've castrated them when I try to return the favour.
It is not castration, it is ego. Paying for everything is a way of showing off. If the money thing upsets my date, I am doing it wrong. Kind of like bragging, a little is fun, but too much is being a jerk. If a woman really feels a need to pay, I would let her because she has an ego too.

Surya wrote:
1 problem with pedestals, the people on them, have a much better chance of being able to turn around and piss all over you.
It is no fun when women get pissy.
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Who_Am_I
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01 Aug 2010, 11:41 pm

Mudboy wrote:
Who_Am_I wrote:
OneStepBeyond wrote:
ack, i once dated someone who insisted on paying for everything and it was annoying as hell. he wouldnt even let me pay for one drink or my own ticket to a place id suggested going. drove me nuts but in the end i gave up even offering because it was just too frustrating arguing about it

i dont see why they shouldnt pay sometimes though. its just a nice thing to do and shouldnt be some huge issue?


I don't have a problem with someone paying sometimes, just as long as they don't get all pouty and act as though I've castrated them when I try to return the favour.
It is not castration, it is ego. Paying for everything is a way of showing off. If the money thing upsets my date, I am doing it wrong. Kind of like bragging, a little is fun, but too much is being a jerk. If a woman really feels a need to pay, I would let her because she has an ego too.

Surya wrote:
1 problem with pedestals, the people on them, have a much better chance of being able to turn around and piss all over you.
It is no fun when women get pissy.
Image


My last boyfriend thought that it made him less of a man if I bought him lunch every once in a while. It was ridiculous.


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jdcnosse
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01 Aug 2010, 11:48 pm

sacrip wrote:
Generally speaking, the obligation to pay for the date goes to whoever's idea it was to go out in the first place. That's USUALLY the man, so he pays. Once you're in an established boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, it should be more of an alternating or going dutch thing, unless one makes considerably more money than the other.


I agree with this, however if I want to take my girlfriend out on a date, then I pay for her. I don't try to put her on a pedestal, but I see it as I'm trying to give her a good time and impress her (like courting) and if she likes me back she can give me her love and support.



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02 Aug 2010, 1:32 am

About paying I'd consider it more of a gender role than sexism. For some men putting up a big bill in a restaurant is one way a man can show off and the woman ruins his parade if she refuses to let him pay. Here the guy's a peacock trying to spread his tail and the girl is peeing on his tail feathers so that they are too wet for him to raise.

Surya wrote:
1 problem with pedestals, the people on them, have a much better chance of being able to turn around and piss all over you.

But if they're women they don't have a penis so they can't piss on a target from the kind of range that men on a pedestal could let alone at all.

Actually, now that I think of it, that would make it kind of hard for the female peacock to pee on the male peacock's tail feathers. Then again maybe peacocks can fly?


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Bethie
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22 Aug 2010, 2:46 am

Xenu wrote:

Why is it morally required by many for the guy to ask a girl out


Socially? Yes. Morally? No.

Xenu wrote:
and pay for everything.


I've never heard of this. I've always split the bill in early dating, and when in relationships, we'd take turns paying.
It ain't the fifties.

Since the rest of your post relies on these assumptions, I don't know what else to say about it.


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22 Aug 2010, 3:01 am

Ferdinand wrote:
This isn't sexism. It's natural. The female looks beautiful in her vibrant colors and attracts the male. The male then initiates the species' courting ritual. The male also makes the sex happen.

Paying for their meals is also a kind thing to do.


Hey! I'm allowed to be a beautiful, vibrant piece of arm candy too! Us men aren't the only ones who judge on looks ;)



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22 Aug 2010, 3:08 am

I have a new meme:

"When you don't like it, its "sexism""

Examples: A man brushing against a womans chest, and a man paying for a womans dinner.

:lol:
:lol: :lol:



mechanicalgirl39
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22 Aug 2010, 11:01 am

Yes it's grossly sexist. If I ask a man out I will pay because that's only fair since it was me who initiated it.


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mechanicalgirl39
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22 Aug 2010, 11:10 am

Ichinin wrote:
Xenu wrote:
Why is it morally required by many for the guy to ask a girl out and pay for everything. Isn't that Sexist by making the guy have to make the effort of possibly embarrassing himself?



Its not morally required, but it is a societal custom. I reject paying for a strangers meal out on pure principal. If the girl has issues with it, she is history. I've met lots of girls with issues related to this. The day girls stop crying about the inequitys of the "male society", that day we'll have equality. Seriously, make the wages equal so we can drop this BS tradition that should have died with chivalry. Same goes for crap like "All men are responsible to take care for womens offspring" - Not bloody likely!

There are lots more issues with female to male equality that needs to me solved, and it wont cost the women a damn cent, all they have to do is change their opinions = another speculation of the probability of ice-crystallised precipitation in hell.

Yeah, you heard me, i'm a man and i want MY equality - deal with it!


I have to agree with you.

I don't even like when a guy offers to help me lift something heavy. It makes me feel like equality is just a thin veil and under that veil I really am a lesser creature.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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22 Aug 2010, 12:02 pm

That's because the female has the last saying (yes or no) , it's the male who has to do a lot of things to impress the female in order to increase his chances of getting yes's. It's like that male birds who sing in order to impress and attract the females.

Paying dinner is one of those things that male humans naturally do in order to impress the females.



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22 Aug 2010, 12:28 pm

Because Hollywood films are stupid, stereotypical, not not in any way representative of reality. Romcoms are all clones of each other, it's a genre which pathetic lonely people watch for hope or pathetic "lovers" watch to feel smug.