friends then lovers then he shut down completely

Post Reply New Topic

So, it's been 3.5 months since the last post. I am still across the country. We've talked on average once a week since I've been gone with some long stretches (up to 2 weeks) of nothing from time to time. When I left, he promised me a 24-hour turnaround on all phone calls, texts, and emails. We even pinky promised and sealed it with a kiss. Of course, that failed right away (clearly, he forgot or lost interest) and I got very jaded. He said "I love you" to me a few times and I told him I didn't believe him and didn't want to hear it because he retracted all his "I love you's" back last August. So, I kept saying " You don't love me, you said you don't love me, I don't want you to say it" and he kept saying "I love you" and then got mad that I wouldn't accept his words. He is flying here in just over a week.We are supposed to hang out here for 12 days after he arrives and then fly back to our city together. Scary for me. I feel very little other than friendship for him right now. I'm sure once he gets off the plane, I'm gonna melt into his hug and get all messed up again.

And here i thought people with AS had morals.
This guy clearly is worse than trash and should suffer in hell.

Friends with benefits?
But that was also your mistake, friends with benefits is just the sugar coated version of the word "f**k buddies"
Your own fault you ended up liking him too.
Sex, in my eyes is something you should have with someone you love, aka, gf/bf.
Friends with benefit crap? Can go to hell.

So in short, you both are to blame for the outcome of this.
Maybe next time you'll....well, get into a relationship before you do all these kind of things

this is more common then people like to talk about
he "hit it then quit it"

well he wanted sex, got it, then left-saying he didn't love her
these things can go for a few days to a few months, depending on how good the guy is at manipulating people
sounded like a hit it and quit it to me

^I respectfully disagree.

thanks, HopeGrows. everyone else, i'm ROFL now but maybe i'll be crying soon. the training was great and i do hope to build a some kind of income from it when i get home. it definitely was NOT a "hit it and quit it" thing even though it may seem like it. we've been friends since august 2008 (2.5 years) and very close friends since jan. 2009 (2 years), roommates, lovers, friends, etc... it's definitely still undefined and open. for certain, we'll always be buddies no matter what happens. it's easy for me to love him as a friend/brother still because i definitely know he's not really boyfriend material. i am not expecting (nor wanting) any verbal commitment from him. i know i am the only potential love/sex/fkbuddy interest in his life right now and i know he's not looking for anything new (it's stressful for him to have expectations by others) so for now, it is what it is and i hope we have a fun vacation here. i do know for certain that i am the #1 person he comes to when he's in need of emotional support and sorting issues out and i know he believes i am the #1 most reliable person who comes through for him time after time. not even his family can manage that. he is not looking for another woman in his life -and- he has no need or desire for me to be monogamous with him so if we get sexual again (we might not), and if i can stay detached with perspective (that's he's not boyfriend material, just fkbuddy material), then it's a win-win for me, i guess. he states he doesn't get jealous because possession over another person is not logical or fair...

The "he's an as*hole" contingent WINS!! !

old adage holds true.

Women fake orgasms, men fake relationships.

guess that applies to any end of the spectrum people may be in.

In my opinion, you got played

Well, that was a waste of more than 2 years.

Update: so the guy is now living in my house as a platonic roommate with funding from a Family Home Agency/Regional Center after bombing out of his supported living college program for Aspies. He refused to participate and after 1.5 years, funding was terminated. So, now, here, he has his own bedroom, own office. We hang out about 2 hours a week (maybe less) and he basically has no interest in anything other than junk food, wikipedia and computer games. I'm not thrilled about his lack of motivation for anything (college, community activities, exercise, healthy food, etc...) and he's still stuck in all his bad habits (eg: very messy bedroom, not returning anyone's phone calls/emails, sleeping all day, online all night, etc). He's incredibly stubborn and defiant and refuses any offers of help. He's hyper sensitive and easily pissed off. Trying to stay detached and business-like. He lives in the front of the house and I live in the back of the house- we each have our own bathroom. So we barely see each other. Strange...