Girl, Four years younger than me is it a no-go?

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Source? I don't think that's true. At least, it isn't true in all US states and all countries. Laws differ a lot place to place. You can't say that a certain type of law is the same everywhere.



You have NEVER met these parents. A lot of your "points" seem to be based on unfounded assumptions about people you don't know.



The emotion thing applies no matter what the age of the girl's boyfriend is, and as I said, the OP should make a decision based on what he wants, not on what others will think of him.

I don't think he will get into trouble at all. There may very well be judgmental people who will disprove, yes, but there should be no reason for him to get into trouble.

in canada, there was an exception proposed as to the age of consent, if the participants are within 2 years of age. otherwise, the age of consent is 16.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_of_con ... _in_Canada

here is one problem with the OP's situation. even if you accept (as alex did) that they are both teenagers right now, it's important to look ahead - in less than a year the OP will be an adult and he would be dating someone who is still a teenager. at that point, it is firmly statutory rape in every country with statutory rape laws (and it could in fact be viewed as a pedophilia situation).

if he likes her, he should wait a couple of years. no harm in that.

the girl may be just as emotionally mature as the boy, or the boy might be just as immature as girl. we don't really know either way, but in general 17-year-olds are more emotionally mature. and a girl would do almost anything for an older boyfriend - there is too much potential for victimization here.

y'know what could almost be an acceptable situation? for the OP to meet her parents and discuss his intentions. if he could convince the parents that he has honourable intentions in dating their 13-year-old girl daughter, then he pretty much has their blessing and no further worries. but i doubt he could convince them



(as a parent - please note that my daughter had her first boyfriend at 14 so it isn't like no boy would ever be good enough for her parents to approve of. but 4 years older is not acceptable).

I'm surprised nobody has brought up the half-x plus 7 rule.

As a general rule of thumb, the minimum age that a relationship can be considered non-creepy is given by:

Minimum age = Your age/2 +7

So, you're 17. half of 17 is 8.5, plus 7 is 15.5. So 15 and a half is the rough minimum dating age

Now, I find that to be borderline uncomfortable, but that might just be me.

Going off the same model, I got a minimum wait of 5 years. She'll be 18, and you'll be 22. Once again, borderline uncomfortable, but acceptable.

i've never heard that, but i would definitely agree. cool calculation.

The problem isn't with the numerical difference between the numbers themselves, but the difference in neurological development typically associated with the ages. By 26, the brain has more or less finished developing so there's no neurological difference between 26 and 30 or 26 and 40,50 or even 60 in terms cognition, impulse control and maturity level.

But the 13 year old brain is vastly different from the 17 year old brain.

Has anyone thought to suggest he inquire as to how she feels about him?

She either says she likes him or she doesn't, if she does like him he can ask she first informs her parents before they start dating, problem solved.

If she doesn't, then problem still solved.

EDIT:
And that psudo-scientific crap about brains being different is irrelevent, the capacity for logical decision making is still there, a disregard for it may be apparent in actions, but one still knows which action is the right choice at that age.

Also, we don't know whether said 13 year old is advanced for her age (mentally and physically) , that has a greater affect on my judgement of this situation than simply her age.

The thing is same way we dont know if the girl is advanced for her age others wont and they will start thinking bad of him for dating a 13 year old which will create a bad reputation and make it harder to find a suitable partner around the area afterwards because most girls think that a 17 year old boy dating a 13 year old girl is creepy.

She can inform her parents as you say but her parents are very likely to say no way you are dating someone that old and the whole having asked if he could date their daughter will create awkward situations whenever he meets her parents and thats what we are trying to avoid.

This.

All the crap about what other people will think is irrelevant, too.

It may seem irrelevant now and when they are dating(if he ecentually asks her out), however as most of us already know most relationships dont last forever and dating a 13 year old will cause short term problems on the dating field that will make things even harder for him.

Again its all a matter of taking a risk, if he thinks she is a suitable partner and they can have a satisfactory relationship together he should give it a try, however most of us want to make sure he understands the risks he is taking by asking out a 13 year old.

lol at the people comparing this to an age gap of two adults.
It's not the age gap that's the problem, it's the maturity level. One is classed as a child, one as a young adult.

I've dated people well over 10 years older than me. The difference is I didn't date them when I was 10

See caek's post above.

Try explaining your philosophy to your roommate in prison when he's riding you like a pony. Brain maturity has nothing to do with it -- in the eyes of the LAW, and socially, a 13 year old is a child in a Western country. Don't get yourself confused -- her preferences in the matter are overruled by these two factors. Don't fool yourself and think otherwise, because you will go to jail.

Remember that the OP was talking about asking someone out, not having sex. So this is irrelevant anyway.

But, if you're in a country where the age of consent is 18 (see: most of America), it does not matter, because it's still illegal. Yes, one exception in Canadian law was posted, but the OP isn't in Canada...

Though, on that note, I just noticed that he's in the UK. This means the age of consent is 16. Therefore, I wouldn't advise he enter sexual relations with a 13 year old.

That said, I still stick to what I said about asking her out. It's only a four year difference.

Going out with someone four years younger than you isn't paedophilia...

LOL.