Has any woman here experienced

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Chronos
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25 Nov 2010, 1:35 pm

emlion wrote:

Chronos wrote:

emlion wrote:

Not even soon!
Sometimes after YEARS the feelings develop on both ends.

Rarely. You would be buried first if you were waiting for me.

Okay..?
My boyfriend and I were friends for a long time before I even thought about him in that way.
He was just a brilliant friend.

You are in the minority.

emlion
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25 Nov 2010, 1:36 pm

Chronos wrote:

emlion wrote:

Chronos wrote:

emlion wrote:

Not even soon!
Sometimes after YEARS the feelings develop on both ends.

Rarely. You would be buried first if you were waiting for me.

Okay..?
My boyfriend and I were friends for a long time before I even thought about him in that way.
He was just a brilliant friend.

You are in the minority.

Probably, doesn't make it any less true though.

nick007
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25 Nov 2010, 5:56 pm

hyperlexian wrote:

Chronos wrote:

I think you need to stop thinking about it in terms of women giving you a chance, and start thinking about in more in terms of mutual assets. Also, while it's nice to be friends with someone before you date them, in most cases, it doesn't work if you allow yourself to be a friend with someone too long. As hale_bopp proposed, it's better to ask out those who you are not very close friends with. It's also better to make your intentions of wanting to date someone known relatively soon in the relationship.

i completely disagree with this. there is no reason to let someone know right away that you want to date them, unless you aren't actually interested in being friends at all. and honestly, if a guy was not interested in even being friends with me at all, then i would never, ever date him. being someone's friend is an integral part of any long-term relationship.

i've dated guys after we were "just friends" for months or even years. often, feelings and attraction grow out of the friendship.

a willingness to be friends with someone (even if a person is not gettng sex or romantic love out of it) demonstrates that a person has some kind of worthy character and is worth spending time with.

I feel the same way hyperlexian. I was not looking for a relationship when I met my ex years ago & neither was she at the time. We were just friends in the beginning & we quickly became best friends & feelings got stronger. If she would of wanted a relationship with me in the beginning; it would not of happened. I got in the relationship because I cared about her & she cared about me. I believe that my partner should be my best friend & I think I'd actully rather be alone than with someone who I cant be best friends with

Kilroy
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25 Nov 2010, 6:01 pm

I treat friends differently then I treat girls I like
I would never want to be best friends with someone before we date (or do it)

hyperlexian
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25 Nov 2010, 6:55 pm

biostructure wrote:

Maybe I'm misunderstanding what you mean by "awful, creepy men". If you mean overgrown weird facial hair, missing teeth, possibly contagious skin infections, strong alcohol smell, etc., then I totally understand why getting randomly hit on by those type of men would put you off. If you just mean men who look average and want sex without strings attached, then that's a quite different story.

i think people mean men who don't want to wash, or who don't brush their teeth, for example. or who ONLY want sex when the woman wants more - that is creepy in and of itself.

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hyperlexian
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25 Nov 2010, 6:57 pm

Kilroy wrote:

I treat friends differently then I treat girls I like
I would never want to be best friends with someone before we date (or do it)

why not? trust me, after 20 years, it is a wonderful feeling to be living with (and f*cking) your best friend. when your old friends move on, or move away, you have a friend right there with you whenever you need them (or they need you).

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biostructure
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26 Nov 2010, 12:56 am

hale_bopp wrote:

Are you hot?

I don't know whether you would find me hot.

Quote:

Then find a crazy woman. Shouldn't be that hard.

Of course, she has to be the right kind of "crazy". People who are "crazy" in the violent sense are a different story, and I had one woman who was obviously not right who accused me and a friend of a crime she had invented in her head. But the right kind of "crazy", as in silly and prone to sexual impulses at inappropriate times, that I could certainly deal with, and maybe even really like, at least for a while.

biostructure
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26 Nov 2010, 12:58 am

hyperlexian wrote:

... or who ONLY want sex when the woman wants more - that is creepy in and of itself.

So, then "creepy" varies depending on what the woman is looking for? such that if she is looking for sex then it's only about being dirty, smelly, or diseased, but if she is looking for a relationship then wanting sex is added?

nilescrane
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26 Nov 2010, 1:10 am

biostructure wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

... or who ONLY want sex when the woman wants more - that is creepy in and of itself.

Creepy means a guy that she isn't attracted to wanting her for sex, usually only for sex.

I don't know how many times I have to tell you this, but if a woman chooses to engage in casual sex, she's going to choose her best option.

hale_bopp
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26 Nov 2010, 1:12 am

biostructure wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

Are you hot?

I don't know whether you would find me hot.

Quote:

Then find a crazy woman. Shouldn't be that hard.

Pretty sure I was asking that question to Craig28 not you but I would like to know about you also.
Also wanting sex a lot isn't "crazy" you basically wouldn't mind a nympho. When someone says crazy, they are talking about crazy. You are not being asked if you would tolerate a nympho. You are being asked if you would tolerate crazy.

biostructure
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26 Nov 2010, 2:56 am

hale_bopp wrote:

biostructure wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

Are you hot?

I don't know whether you would find me hot.

Quote:

Then find a crazy woman. Shouldn't be that hard.

As I said "crazy" is such a colloquial word, it's hard to know what it means. I often find it disappointing when people resort to calling people with various neurological differences "crazy", because not only is it meant to insult the person, but it overlooks the extreme differences between the mental and emotional characteristics of these people.

hale_bopp
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26 Nov 2010, 4:15 am

biostructure wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

biostructure wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

Are you hot?

I don't know whether you would find me hot.

Quote:

Then find a crazy woman. Shouldn't be that hard.

Just assume crazy means batsh*t insane.

biostructure
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26 Nov 2010, 8:16 pm

hale_bopp wrote:

biostructure wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

biostructure wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

Are you hot?

I don't know whether you would find me hot.

Quote:

Then find a crazy woman. Shouldn't be that hard.

Just assume crazy means batsh*t insane.

Well how you describe it, probably not. But I'm starting to get the idea that our worldviews may be so far apart that we will never understand each other.

nilescrane
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26 Nov 2010, 8:25 pm

Bio, this no strings attached sex you seek, unless you intend to live at the gym and get huge muscles, it's not going to happen unless you go on a dating site or craigslist and pick the worst of the worst....the overweight women with several kids from different fathers or as HaleBopp said apesh*t insane women.

Think of it this way, why would a woman just give her body to you to experiment with like a prostitute? Even if that was what she wanted by some chance, she's going to choose a guy that she thinks is hot.

Sallamandrina
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26 Nov 2010, 8:33 pm

biostructure wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

... or who ONLY want sex when the woman wants more - that is creepy in and of itself.

Circumstances are crucial here - if a woman is looking for sex, she'll go to club/bar dressed in a provocative manner (let's say) and show interest - look around her, smile at guys etc. That means she can be approached.

If you approach a woman walking on the street, shopping, sitting by herself or reading in a coffee-house/park or similar asking for sex or trying to touch her you will be considered creepy and even reported for sexual harassment.

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hale_bopp
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26 Nov 2010, 8:35 pm

Sallamandrina wrote:

biostructure wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

... or who ONLY want sex when the woman wants more - that is creepy in and of itself.

Good way of putting it. Thats how the NTs think.

when I was younger I used to dress in skanky clothes in clubs and thats pretty much a green light to be approached for sex to NT guys.

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