Quincy27 wrote:
Thanks for the replies guys. I know people get rejected, and that's something I just have to deal with. What hurts is being rejected 100% of the time. When you have asked many girls out, including some you have known for a while and some you haven't and all have said no for one reason or another, it does make one feel below other guys who can get a yes even once in a while. I work with girls but they are all taken. I have tried to act more like a bad guy but it never works because it's simply not who I am. I don't think I can ever change my personality away from being me because it sounds too forced. Yes, I compliment girls a lot because I like trying to make people feel good about themselves. It's a flaw and I know many take it as me putting her on a pedestal put that's just another part of who I am. Like I said, I'm beginning to be convinced that girls just don't respect who I am because I come off as someone with low self esteem, and a pushover, but since most of that is not going to change, like that girl said, there has to be some girls out there who like that in a guy. If not, I am going to have to somehow change which has proven to be quite difficult. If someone told me being this way would lead me to become a 27 year old who has never had a gf, I would have changed when I still more easily could have because loneliness hurts so much.
Time for the ever not so popular opinion.
You say you compliment girls a lot.. and then say you like to make people feel good about themselves. I think this is incorrect, you like to compliment girls a lot hoping that they'll see you for a nice guy and be interested. Its having the reverse effect.. a lot of girls only like to be arbitrarily complimented by someone if its genuine (or someone they already like). By genuine.. I mean ask yourself, would you give a non-attractive male the same compliment?
Girls unfortunately for us.. and fortunately for them like a "dependable" mate. Whether this is someone who's extremely confident in himself, his field, or just confident generally in what he brings to the table, doesn't matter its what they like. This is why a lot of women will give "bad boys" a chance, they're protectors and in some cases providers. Also girls don't want someone dying on them, you don't have to be "the rock" dwayne johnson, but somewhat healthy and reasonable hygiene.
Therefore, you can't win a girl over with compliments as opposed to your own merits.
Also these aren't the only rules, a girl will date or be interested in a guy with those traits..but won't want to take it further if there's no real chemistry.
This isn't to say imo that nice guys can't get girls. Confidence springs from anything, you could be confident in video games IF the girl was into it. Infact this way is recommended because it gives a couple something called "shared interests". You don't have to be "balls to the wall with it", just whatever your interest is, or whatever your confidident with find ways to share and express that.
Putting a girl on a pedestal when she never reciprocates not only doesn't work but it will burn you out in a relationship.