My boyfriend.... slapped me.

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nostromo
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06 Dec 2010, 5:30 am

Anyone that gets angry and can't control themselves needs to take a long hard look at themselves and get some anger management skills.



meems
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06 Dec 2010, 5:54 am

He's looking into therapy, so with me gone or not, at least there is that. I feel unfair accepting the description of him "beating" me. I mean I've been with a guy who beat the s**t out of me and it was a lot different than a single slap. I think he knows I'm leaving and regrets the situation but he doesn't blame me.

I had serious anger issues when I was sixteen and slapped that teacher, but he was feeling me up whilst threatening to fail me if we couldn't work something else out. Self-control was a huge part of it, because what I wanted to do was stab him and there was an envelope opener within my grasp. I think it was a normal reaction for a sixteen year old girl, anger issues or none.



boosterjones
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06 Dec 2010, 6:02 am

That is just not on! You should leave him NOW!

Yes I know that some of you may have read a few things that I've felt like doing to girls who wouldn't date me, but to actually carry them out and TO SLAP YOU???? Well that's another thing all together.

I myself am a man and I would NEVER harm my GF, as not only do I love her to much (cos she's my sexy angel) but that kind of thing is just plan wrong.


I hope that you make the right decision for yourself.


Goodbye Till Next Time.



RightGalaxy
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06 Dec 2010, 9:17 am

Leave and NEVER look back. Slapping is abuse. It's just the tip of the iceberg. Slapping now. Punching later. Broken nose, broken bones, broken, missing, abscessed teeth, etc... HORRIBLE anxiety, feeling like you must walk on eggs everytime you express an opinion. That's not a life. That's a death. The death of you either physically or spiritually. Seek counseling because you may be one of those people who gravitate toward abusers. People who do that have histories of PTSD. I was one. I got help and lots changed. It doesn't matter what kind of help your partner or hopefully x-partner gets. You're two VERY separate people. Get help for YOU.



starygrrl
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06 Dec 2010, 9:42 am

meems wrote:
I don't think I'm going to launch into a huge explanation but I can at least clear up that I didn't touch him or threaten to do so, and I can't find a way to justify what he did.

Now I'm thinking I should leave.

Does it seem like a huge overreaction to make a decision like that over one thing?

The reason I'm thinking maybe it's an overreaction is that the only other man I've ever dated physically harmed me, I didn't leave, and it turned into a situation where I had cigarettes put out on me and I was choked until I blacked out - afraid to say anything to anyone or leave because if anyone knew they would think I was an idiot for not leaving the first time. I really don't think my current boyfriend is capable of that kind of cruelty but still, I feel like I shouldn't risk escalation.


Seriously, leave. Somebody slapping me in the face out of anger is where I draw the line. You do it once, you don't get a second chance.



meems
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06 Dec 2010, 1:01 pm

f**k it. I'm staying.





I just wanted to see if anyone would be any more aware of this post than they were my last two which said I was leaving. I'm done posting in this thread, I thought I was having some kind of conversation until people were blatantly ignoring my last couple of posts.

I'm done. Have fun with the thread, peeps.

Fin.



emlion
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06 Dec 2010, 1:08 pm

meems wrote:
f**k it. I'm staying.





I just wanted to see if anyone would be any more aware of this post than they were my last two which said I was leaving. I'm done posting in this thread, I thought I was having some kind of conversation until people were blatantly ignoring my last couple of posts.

I'm done. Have fun with the thread, peeps.

Fin.


People are just giving you opinions, which you asked for?
People are saying you should leave, you said you should leave. So leave, or stay - but people can't do more than give you their honest opinions.

You're done? What's the problem exactly with the thread?



Xeno
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06 Dec 2010, 1:47 pm

You ask people for advice, and then tell people to have fun with it? To be quite blunt, I have huge anger issues... I'm probably the angriest person I know, but I would NOT do that to a girl. We told you the truth. The guy is a piece of s**t and you should get away from him. But you've already got your mind made up. "Have fun" being a total cliché.



Last edited by Xeno on 06 Dec 2010, 1:56 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Zara
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06 Dec 2010, 1:54 pm

meems wrote:
f**k it. I'm staying.





I just wanted to see if anyone would be any more aware of this post than they were my last two which said I was leaving. I'm done posting in this thread, I thought I was having some kind of conversation until people were blatantly ignoring my last couple of posts.

I'm done. Have fun with the thread, peeps.

Fin.


It's your life. Live it how you want to. If you're happy with the way it is, then carry on.

Maybe worse things won't happen.
Nobody here knows the guy aside from this one thing you've told us. You asked us here for opinions and we gave our take based on what little we know. Are the conclusions really that surprising?


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TheWeirdPig
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06 Dec 2010, 1:56 pm

I am so sorry this happened to you. I gather that you really don't want to leave because this seems so out of character for him, but you don't want it to become his character either. Because it is out of character for him, you are not sure if you are safe or not. Is this what you're trying to say?

And please empathize with everyone advising you. They are VERY concerned about your safety.



Lene
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06 Dec 2010, 2:25 pm

meems wrote:
f**k it. I'm staying.





I just wanted to see if anyone would be any more aware of this post than they were my last two which said I was leaving. I'm done posting in this thread, I thought I was having some kind of conversation until people were blatantly ignoring my last couple of posts.

I'm done. Have fun with the thread, peeps.

Fin.


People were only trying to show their concern. Not everyone reads through 4 pages before commenting; a lot just reply to the initial post. Some have read them all and your updates still have not changed their minds. What they are all doing is giving you advice which is what you originally asked for. You never stated you wanted a conversation. There is no need to be so rude and dismissive to people who were simply trying to help you.

You are welcome to make your decision to stay with him, but that does not mean that people here will or should back your decision.



Jono
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06 Dec 2010, 2:42 pm

meems wrote:
He swears it was an accident and that he feels horrible about it.


That doesn't make any sense, I don't see how him slapping you can be an "accident".



emlion
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06 Dec 2010, 2:43 pm

Jono wrote:
meems wrote:
He swears it was an accident and that he feels horrible about it.


That doesn't make any sense, I don't see how him slapping you can be an "accident".


Maybe his hand slipped..with considerable force. >.<

I'm sure it wasn't pre-meditated which is perhaps more what the OP means.



Jono
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06 Dec 2010, 2:48 pm

meems wrote:
f**k it. I'm staying.





I just wanted to see if anyone would be any more aware of this post than they were my last two which said I was leaving. I'm done posting in this thread, I thought I was having some kind of conversation until people were blatantly ignoring my last couple of posts.

I'm done. Have fun with the thread, peeps.

Fin.


Alright, if you make the decision to stay, then it's your decision. There's nothing more anyone here can do to help you.



Jono
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06 Dec 2010, 2:50 pm

emlion wrote:
Jono wrote:
meems wrote:
He swears it was an accident and that he feels horrible about it.


That doesn't make any sense, I don't see how him slapping you can be an "accident".


Maybe his hand slipped..with considerable force. >.<

I'm sure it wasn't pre-meditated which is perhaps more what the OP means.


I'm not sure it really matters if it was pre-meditated or not. If he didn't apologise immediately then there's no guarantee that won't happen again even if he's genuinely sorry afterwards.



emlion
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06 Dec 2010, 2:52 pm

I think it matters that it's pre-meditated.
I get mad spur of the moment, but never plan to react the way I do.
But either way, the OP should leave.