Would you break up with your boyfriend over this?

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btw I'm not saying that that equates to higher intelligence - plenty of intelligent people don't have degrees/PhDs etc

And I disagree with whoever it was that said you need to find someone at least as intelligent as you. Not to mention that it wouldn';t make sense to need someone MORE intelligent than you, as that person would then be with someone LESS intelligent, which (in this person's opinion) would be detrimental

But yeah, I am nearly finished with my degree (history) and while I would never say it makes me more intelligent than someone who hasn;t been to uni, I definitely think I am more experienced as a result of it

That is true for a lot of people on the surface. But if you really want to do well in your field (even in the subjectss that don't offer obvious job opportunites, like my history degree), you need to do more than just read the text books and memorise pointless stuff. I mean there is more to studying history than just learning what happened and when. There's a technique to it (research etc)

Yeah. Thats the difference between people who get phds for their ego and people who get phds because they're brilliant in their field. Some people just do them so they can think of themselves as more intelligent than other people. (not all, but some) A guy I love a lot is brilliant in his fields, but has a masters degree not a phd, and he's 10 times as intelligent as the 3 people I know who are doing phds.

Yeah that;s why the whole thing is kinda pointless from a who's-more-intelligent perspective as it means virtually nothing. I'm doing my degree because it's been one of my main interests since I was a kid (and also just to give me something to do instead of staying in arguing on the internet all day ), but a lot of people either do it for the student-experience of drinking and sex (which is understandable really, people wanna f**k around after school before they get sucked into their job for years) or for the title and status that comes with it

Yeah lol, you should hear my mum ranting "They're only doing it because they can put off getting a job"

Thank you, Laz, for bringing some clarity to this discussion. Most of the posters have definately failed to understand the main problem in my relationship with my boyfriend. I am tired of having to hide my qualifications from people in order to make them feel better about themselves.....and this includes the very famous university from where I am getting my doctorate. If anyone is being discriminated against, it is me. When people hear that I go to university X, they immediately assume that my parents have money and that I got in because of connections. Truth be told, I have no money at all and I worked hard for every one of my grades and spent most of my summers as an undergraduate conducting fieldwork while most of my other peers were spending most of their time at the beach or dancing in clubs every night.



I never once said that many people without PhDs are not smart or knowledgable, but some individuals in this forum are under the mistaken assumption that getting a doctorate only teaches one about his/her own field, which is an error. And it is ironic that all of these people who are so sure about what a PhD is about have never gone through one and have no idea what it entails. Perhaps if they have done so, their opinions would have been much different.

So you don't have a PhD either.

I wouldn't break up over an argument. And how have we gotten into a discussion on academics?

My former partner was the only member of her family to have gone to university and obtained a degree. There were parts of her family that behaved in a rather condecending, dismissive and at times outwardly hostile towards her for pursuing education to that level. It is sadly something you do get used to in a society were you are somehow percieved to be insincere and pretentious to want to actively seek knowledge and understanding.

I am quite shocked how a book written 100 years ago (Robert Tressel's Ragged Trousered Philanthropist) actually reflects the same prevailing attitudes that are still present in my society today. I've never been particularly sympathetic towards this apathey of education. But given that my grandparents were refugee's fleeing pograms and persecution in their homeland by the bolshevik's I guess memories are just short when it comes to understanding Real poverty and Real ignorance and in the absence of such memories or experiances they take for granted privelages and rights which their for-fathers fought for or were denied both here and in other countries.




The processes they really lack is that of being able to conduct "research" To be an evidence based practitioner it is of great importance to me that I was tought the ability to critique, analyse and peer review research in my field. While my level of qualification is nowhere near a PhD level being a professional still carries with it skills and abilities which when tought are unable to be lost.

From the moment you begin to understand the concepts of how this process works you begin to see and percieve the world in a differnt light. You begin to not take things on face value that are published in the media, you ask for the numbers behind conclusions, you are aware of your own subjective outlook and of others when you listen to and give opinions.

It is not that I somehow turned into an ubermench and everyone else became some sub human underling. It is simply that knowledge and the skills and understanding of highly experianced practitioners in my field were passed onto me through theory in class rooms and clinical practice out in the field which prepared me for the role I now hold in my current career path.

Cause people are being nobheads

I know a woman who's been 'getting her phD' for the past 12 years.

Well, that was intelligent.

What a surprising turn of events. It's always the people who don't have it who keep insisting that they do.

Update: Four days after breaking up, I was told by a mutual friend that he was crying and threatening to slit his wrists. I panicked and contacted him. We have agreed to be friends (remember, relationship was long distance for most of the 7 months) and to see each other again but after all of this rollercoaster, I told him I needed some space.

Apparently, some people are there to stay for the long-term in our lives. I don't believe that our relationship will continue long term, but I do hope we stay friends.

Well, your reasoning for the break-up wasn't good, but your boyfriend's reaction was far worse. Then again, I have the ability to fall in and out of love like turning a computer on and off. When my last girlfriend broke up with me, it instantly tripped a kill switch of some sort, and I started seeing her as just another person from my life history. Not having a girlfriend in high school teaches you that skill, lol. I don't think your boyfriend has the ability to fall in and out of love like that. Anyway, I don't know how the "friends after a relationship" thing will work out; statistically, they're pretty hard to pull off, but everyone's situation is different.