27 Feb 2011, 1:56 pm
Grisha wrote:
Of course #1 sucks (and I will personally beat the crap out of anyone who writes "buy a vibrator" on this thread) 
but personally I don't give a f*ck what people think.
Why wouldn't people trust you? Most people in this situation worry about being labeled as gay even though they're not, something I could not care less about...
but personally I don't give a f*ck what people think. Why wouldn't people trust you? Most people in this situation worry about being labeled as gay even though they're not, something I could not care less about...
I actually don't care what people think, it just makes it difficult to interact with other people, which I have to do for the sake of my children. Some other women think that I'm automatically on the prowl, specifically for their husbands, or they're worried that their husbands will flirt with me or find me appealing or something. Of course no one says anything, but I can tell by their behavior (I have learned to observe a whole lot). Not all women are like this, thankfully. Of the troublesome men, I get the impression that they're either threatened by my independence or they're bothered that I don't react to their flirting. I'm just another level of "weird," and, as you know, other people are mostly made comfortable by what they know and what they can pigeon-hole.
Again, I *really* don't care what they think about me, but I have to force myself to play nice for the sake of my children so that they aren't excluded/denied playdates and invitations to birthday parties, etc. I couldn't care less if they thought I was gay. Around here (suburban, intellectual, liberal Boston), that doesn't matter so much anyway.
A vibrator could never ever ever take the place of a man. There's absolutely so much more to the sex act than the "release". Sure, you could live on beans, nutritionally, for the rest of your life, but every once in a while you want and need a steak. And I find the idea of a B.O.B. just so completely demoralizing. I could say a whole bunch more, but I'm afraid we're already treading on Adult Forum ground too much.
HopeGrows
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Joined: 5 Nov 2009
Age: 50
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,565
Location: In exactly the right place at exactly the right time.
27 Feb 2011, 1:59 pm
mv wrote:
Me, I gave up. At least for the last year and for the foreseeable future. The only things I regret about it are:
1) no sex, and
2) yet another layer of alienation from everyone else; no one, not women and not men, trusts an (reasonably) attractive woman alone.
Tips on handling it: I'm living as healthy as I can. Lots of exercise, scrupulous about my diet, limiting alcohol. And then I try to count the good things in my life without introducing the bad things that go with them: my career, my kids, my self-awareness and empowerment, my stability, etc.
1) no sex, and
2) yet another layer of alienation from everyone else; no one, not women and not men, trusts an (reasonably) attractive woman alone.
Tips on handling it: I'm living as healthy as I can. Lots of exercise, scrupulous about my diet, limiting alcohol. And then I try to count the good things in my life without introducing the bad things that go with them: my career, my kids, my self-awareness and empowerment, my stability, etc.
@mv, there's no reason to go without sex just because you're not dating: goodvibes.com.
edit: I actually had to look up what a "B.O.B." is (turns out it's a "battery operated boyfriend"). I honestly don't relate to the idea that satisfying your own sexual needs is demoralizing. If that's the way you feel about it, and you're willing to tolerate the consequences....
27 Feb 2011, 2:11 pm
mv wrote:
Grisha wrote:
Of course #1 sucks (and I will personally beat the crap out of anyone who writes "buy a vibrator" on this thread) but personally I don't give a f*ck what people think.
Why wouldn't people trust you? Most people in this situation worry about being labeled as gay even though they're not, something I could not care less about...
but personally I don't give a f*ck what people think. Why wouldn't people trust you? Most people in this situation worry about being labeled as gay even though they're not, something I could not care less about...
I actually don't care what people think, it just makes it difficult to interact with other people, which I have to do for the sake of my children. Some other women think that I'm automatically on the prowl, specifically for their husbands, or they're worried that their husbands will flirt with me or find me appealing or something. Of course no one says anything, but I can tell by their behavior (I have learned to observe a whole lot). Not all women are like this, thankfully. Of the troublesome men, I get the impression that they're either threatened by my independence or they're bothered that I don't react to their flirting. I'm just another level of "weird," and, as you know, other people are mostly made comfortable by what they know and what they can pigeon-hole.
Again, I *really* don't care what they think about me, but I have to force myself to play nice for the sake of my children so that they aren't excluded/denied playdates and invitations to birthday parties, etc. I couldn't care less if they thought I was gay. Around here (suburban, intellectual, liberal Boston), that doesn't matter so much anyway.
A vibrator could never ever ever take the place of a man. There's absolutely so much more to the sex act than the "release". Sure, you could live on beans, nutritionally, for the rest of your life, but every once in a while you want and need a steak. And I find the idea of a
B.O.B. just so completely demoralizing. I could say a whole bunch more, but I'm afraid we're already treading on Adult Forum ground too much.
Oh, I forgot about the "other kid's parents" thing, my kid's don't live with me so I don't get to experience that much anymore. But they do have a point, I'm amazed and a little shocked at how "racy" those activities can get. I'm usually off playing/interacting with my kids at those things anyway.
Didn't mean to get too Adult Forum, I just hate it when someone always pops in suggesting masturbation as a cure-all to every romantic problem...
27 Feb 2011, 2:20 pm
HopeGrows wrote:
mv wrote:
Me, I gave up. At least for the last year and for the foreseeable future. The only things I regret about it are:
1) no sex, and
2) yet another layer of alienation from everyone else; no one, not women and not men, trusts an (reasonably) attractive woman alone.
Tips on handling it: I'm living as healthy as I can. Lots of exercise, scrupulous about my diet, limiting alcohol. And then I try to count the good things in my life without introducing the bad things that go with them: my career, my kids, my self-awareness and empowerment, my stability, etc.
1) no sex, and
2) yet another layer of alienation from everyone else; no one, not women and not men, trusts an (reasonably) attractive woman alone.
Tips on handling it: I'm living as healthy as I can. Lots of exercise, scrupulous about my diet, limiting alcohol. And then I try to count the good things in my life without introducing the bad things that go with them: my career, my kids, my self-awareness and empowerment, my stability, etc.
@mv, there's no reason to go without sex just because you're not dating: goodvibes.com.
edit: I actually had to look up what a "B.O.B." is (turns out it's a "battery operated boyfriend"). I honestly don't relate to the idea that satisfying your own sexual needs is demoralizing. If that's the way you feel about it, and you're willing to tolerate the consequences....
Oh, I get it; I think we'll just have to agree to disagree. Masturbation doesn't satisfy my sexual needs.
27 Feb 2011, 2:23 pm
There are certain aspects of being single that I really love. Just as well there are situations when I wish I had someone to be there for me. Anyway, a good relaptionship is not something that could be forced and I'd rather be single than in a bad one. I actually gave up on active search for a bf some time ago and now I'm just trying to fill my life with some other things and enjoy it the best way I can. 
HopeGrows
Veteran
Joined: 5 Nov 2009
Age: 50
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,565
Location: In exactly the right place at exactly the right time.
27 Feb 2011, 2:35 pm
mv wrote:
HopeGrows wrote:
mv wrote:
Me, I gave up. At least for the last year and for the foreseeable future. The only things I regret about it are:
1) no sex, and
2) yet another layer of alienation from everyone else; no one, not women and not men, trusts an (reasonably) attractive woman alone.
Tips on handling it: I'm living as healthy as I can. Lots of exercise, scrupulous about my diet, limiting alcohol. And then I try to count the good things in my life without introducing the bad things that go with them: my career, my kids, my self-awareness and empowerment, my stability, etc.
1) no sex, and
2) yet another layer of alienation from everyone else; no one, not women and not men, trusts an (reasonably) attractive woman alone.
Tips on handling it: I'm living as healthy as I can. Lots of exercise, scrupulous about my diet, limiting alcohol. And then I try to count the good things in my life without introducing the bad things that go with them: my career, my kids, my self-awareness and empowerment, my stability, etc.
@mv, there's no reason to go without sex just because you're not dating: goodvibes.com.
edit: I actually had to look up what a "B.O.B." is (turns out it's a "battery operated boyfriend"). I honestly don't relate to the idea that satisfying your own sexual needs is demoralizing. If that's the way you feel about it, and you're willing to tolerate the consequences....
Oh, I get it; I think we'll just have to agree to disagree. Masturbation doesn't satisfy my sexual needs.
To be clear, I wasn't suggesting it as a substitute for intimacy, romance, warmth, an emotional/psychological/spiritual connection with another human being. To my knowledge, there simply aren't any substitutes for that. But I'm sorry it's not a viable solution for you in terms of meeting your sexual needs - that's gotta be tough.
27 Feb 2011, 2:35 pm
mv wrote:
HopeGrows wrote:
mv wrote:
Me, I gave up. At least for the last year and for the foreseeable future. The only things I regret about it are:
1) no sex, and
2) yet another layer of alienation from everyone else; no one, not women and not men, trusts an (reasonably) attractive woman alone.
Tips on handling it: I'm living as healthy as I can. Lots of exercise, scrupulous about my diet, limiting alcohol. And then I try to count the good things in my life without introducing the bad things that go with them: my career, my kids, my self-awareness and empowerment, my stability, etc.
1) no sex, and
2) yet another layer of alienation from everyone else; no one, not women and not men, trusts an (reasonably) attractive woman alone.
Tips on handling it: I'm living as healthy as I can. Lots of exercise, scrupulous about my diet, limiting alcohol. And then I try to count the good things in my life without introducing the bad things that go with them: my career, my kids, my self-awareness and empowerment, my stability, etc.
@mv, there's no reason to go without sex just because you're not dating: goodvibes.com.
edit: I actually had to look up what a "B.O.B." is (turns out it's a "battery operated boyfriend"). I honestly don't relate to the idea that satisfying your own sexual needs is demoralizing. If that's the way you feel about it, and you're willing to tolerate the consequences....
Oh, I get it; I think we'll just have to agree to disagree. Masturbation doesn't satisfy my sexual needs.
It doesn't really does it? Otherwise we'd all just be jerking it in caves, and civilisation woulda never happened.
HopeGrows
Veteran
Joined: 5 Nov 2009
Age: 50
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,565
Location: In exactly the right place at exactly the right time.
27 Feb 2011, 2:37 pm
Moog wrote:
It doesn't really does it? Otherwise we'd all just be jerking it in caves, and civilisation woulda never happened.
27 Feb 2011, 2:41 pm
HopeGrows wrote:
mv wrote:
HopeGrows wrote:
mv wrote:
Me, I gave up. At least for the last year and for the foreseeable future. The only things I regret about it are:
1) no sex, and
2) yet another layer of alienation from everyone else; no one, not women and not men, trusts an (reasonably) attractive woman alone.
Tips on handling it: I'm living as healthy as I can. Lots of exercise, scrupulous about my diet, limiting alcohol. And then I try to count the good things in my life without introducing the bad things that go with them: my career, my kids, my self-awareness and empowerment, my stability, etc.
1) no sex, and
2) yet another layer of alienation from everyone else; no one, not women and not men, trusts an (reasonably) attractive woman alone.
Tips on handling it: I'm living as healthy as I can. Lots of exercise, scrupulous about my diet, limiting alcohol. And then I try to count the good things in my life without introducing the bad things that go with them: my career, my kids, my self-awareness and empowerment, my stability, etc.
@mv, there's no reason to go without sex just because you're not dating: goodvibes.com.
edit: I actually had to look up what a "B.O.B." is (turns out it's a "battery operated boyfriend"). I honestly don't relate to the idea that satisfying your own sexual needs is demoralizing. If that's the way you feel about it, and you're willing to tolerate the consequences....
Oh, I get it; I think we'll just have to agree to disagree. Masturbation doesn't satisfy my sexual needs.
To be clear, I wasn't suggesting it as a substitute for intimacy, romance, warmth, an emotional/psychological/spiritual connection with another human being. To my knowledge, there simply aren't any substitutes for that. But I'm sorry it's not a viable solution for you in terms of meeting your sexual needs - that's gotta be tough.
I'm very bad at expressing myself, but I want to say that I appreciate your suggestion, regardless. It's nice to be able to talk to people here!
And Moog, now we're up to THREE monitors that you owe me.
Oh, and Grisha, sorry for the partial-hijack.
27 Feb 2011, 2:47 pm
27 Feb 2011, 2:49 pm
HopeGrows
Veteran
Joined: 5 Nov 2009
Age: 50
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,565
Location: In exactly the right place at exactly the right time.
27 Feb 2011, 3:02 pm
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 42
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 33,044
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
27 Feb 2011, 6:04 pm
27 Feb 2011, 6:19 pm
27 Feb 2011, 6:48 pm
Moog wrote:
Grisha wrote:
Quote:
I think we should start a WP undatable club...
I was kind of wondering if it was appropriate for me to post on L&D any more. I know there are no rules about this, but you know how Aspies think!
Alex needs to create an "Undatable" forum for us
But maybe we should give it a more positive name instead: how about "untamable"
That would make me feel like I was a merkin
Fine, we'll call it the "Curiously Undomesticatable" forum...
27 Feb 2011, 8:57 pm
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