You can do all kinds of great things for yourself to enhance the quality of your life - I'm completely with you there and something of an avid growth and self-improvement junky. At the same time though I've had to realize that what's happened in my own dating life has been too surreal to explained by anything that I'm doing and I would have to agree with those who'd perhaps not blame an attitude or set of habits but rather that men and women are different, we tend to gravitate toward those who we can relate to and what a lot of guys and girls have in common with Asperger's - we have outlying personalities that give most people headaches. Yes, a guy's virility and provider/protector status count but also, if you're way of thinking or general mode of life is too different at the core from the opposite sex or a certain type of emotional interaction that they love ends up being something you intellectualize to their chagrin, not because you're better or worse but just different from them, you have different needs, they have different needs, and I can easily believe that lots of people - AS or NT - can be very successful, be great people, have decent if not great social skills, and go nowhere in the relationship world. They're typically more autonomous people, people who also have high intelligence and lose about 9/10 people simply because they get bored with anything less than an equal there in most cases, and often enough they're great at asserting themselves or seeming like solid/upright people but seem even 7th grade awkard at showing interest (and funny enough that ineptitude doesn't come from not giving effort to attaining social skills, it comes from being on a different fundamental frame or POV, and ultimately it occasionally be faked around but inherent differences don't go away) - I've known the full gammit from Aspie guys and girls to some incredibly attractive NT's who simply had too big of identities, too rich an inner world, and when they looked for the type of person who could add to their life it simply wasn't available, thus they more often end up with a circle of very close friends for decades (as I have as well) and getting their fuel platonically.
I know that talking about the evolution game sounds like the conversation it more eugenic, I think there's that element but when you see that almost any kind of outlier is between a rock and hard place with relationships, you realize that - as an understanding of evolution would imply - its a non-thinking process that jettisons anything that isn't normative, at least psychologically.
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The loneliest part of life: it's not just that no one is on your cloud, few can even see your cloud.