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"Checking out" women while talking to them

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emlion
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23 Mar 2011, 2:37 pm

:lol:



emuman100
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23 Mar 2011, 2:48 pm

lotusblossom wrote:
well the lesson to learn is that whether a man complements your looks, or your brain he still only wants to get into your pants!


Not always. Sometimes the man has a little crush on the woman and the goal is to get to know them and get friendly with them, at least with me, anyway. That's how I was when I met my ex. I thought she was really beautiful, and while she did have an attractive body, I still had a crush on her, and the goal was to be with her and spend time with her because I liked here. If I compliment a woman, it usually means that I like her, but doesn't always mean I want to get in her pants.



lotusblossom
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23 Mar 2011, 2:57 pm

emuman100 wrote:
lotusblossom wrote:
well the lesson to learn is that whether a man complements your looks, or your brain he still only wants to get into your pants!


Not always. Sometimes the man has a little crush on the woman and the goal is to get to know them and get friendly with them, at least with me, anyway. That's how I was when I met my ex. I thought she was really beautiful, and while she did have an attractive body, I still had a crush on her, and the goal was to be with her and spend time with her because I liked here. If I compliment a woman, it usually means that I like her, but doesn't always mean I want to get in her pants.


lotusblossom wrote:
however the PUA stuff has been on to that trend for years and Ive heard they reccomend complimenting a woman on being interesting or deep.



my comment was made in the context of my previous comment which was about PUAs and I dont think anyone could argue that PUAs dont just want fanny!



Bimin
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23 Mar 2011, 5:15 pm

To a degree I think it is a primordial response, we have to look at the people we are talking to, men are more visual, in most cases our higher thinking kicks in and tells us to look someone in the face or eyes, some men can do this or are respectful enough to do this quickly rather than later, sometimes someone so attractive makes you stop dead in your tracks, very rare but it happens.



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23 Mar 2011, 7:42 pm

Suomalainen wrote:
Well at least in OKCupid announcing that you have been checking their looks out doesn't seem to work. Can't post the link but the blog post is named Exactly What To Say In A First Message.

Average reply rate to a first message is around 32%

To first messages containing words:
Sexy - 18%
Beautiful - 21%
Hot - 25%
Cutie - 28%


I told my current email partner she was cute and pretty. She liked it.


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Frieslander
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23 Mar 2011, 7:47 pm

emlion wrote:
i don't agree.
sometimes 'attention seeking clothes' are for a girls own confidence, not for a mans attention.


Oh, come on! Everyone knows that girls have more to show off than men anyway, yet they show it off all the more.

Well, you might be right.


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Frieslander
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23 Mar 2011, 7:50 pm

lotusblossom wrote:
Suomalainen wrote:
Well at least in OKCupid announcing that you have been checking their looks out doesn't seem to work. Can't post the link but the blog post is named Exactly What To Say In A First Message.

Average reply rate to a first message is around 32%

To first messages containing words:
Sexy - 18%
Beautiful - 21%
Hot - 25%
Cutie - 28%

I agree, I dont tend to reply to people who write to me saying "your so beautiful" bleh!

however the PUA stuff has been on to that trend for years and Ive heard they reccomend complimenting a woman on being interesting or deep.


And here i had a minor crush on lotusblossom b/c she was the senstive type. Guess it won't work out :wink:


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Frieslander
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23 Mar 2011, 7:59 pm

lotusblossom wrote:
Suomalainen wrote:
Well at least in OKCupid announcing that you have been checking their looks out doesn't seem to work. Can't post the link but the blog post is named Exactly What To Say In A First Message.

Average reply rate to a first message is around 32%

To first messages containing words:
Sexy - 18%
Beautiful - 21%
Hot - 25%
Cutie - 28%

I agree, I dont tend to reply to people who write to me saying "your so beautiful" bleh!

however the PUA stuff has been on to that trend for years and Ive heard they reccomend complimenting a woman on being interesting or deep.


When my brother met his gf, they were sitting in an auditorium, with mutual friends, and they kept staring at each other, with a few people in between, "checking eacother out".

When I compliment women on OkCupid that they have good looks, it's something in the way they smile, hold themselves. I'm not just saying they look like a model or something.


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23 Mar 2011, 11:38 pm

Frieslander wrote:

When I compliment women on OkCupid that they have good looks, it's something in the way they smile, hold themselves. I'm not just saying they look like a model or something.


It's really...foreign to me, that mindset.
I think it's because my profile says I'm looking for long-term only, and I put a lot into explaining my values,
and then I get messages that say, decoded, "The arrangement of your facial structure is consistent with my pre-determined concept of preferability!" Uh....cool story, bro! :D

Those messages are far preferable to some others I get, though. 8O I actually have a journal there where I chronicle all my "adventures" with characters from OKC. :lol:


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lotusblossom
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24 Mar 2011, 2:08 am

Frieslander wrote:
lotusblossom wrote:
Suomalainen wrote:
Well at least in OKCupid announcing that you have been checking their looks out doesn't seem to work. Can't post the link but the blog post is named Exactly What To Say In A First Message.

Average reply rate to a first message is around 32%

To first messages containing words:
Sexy - 18%
Beautiful - 21%
Hot - 25%
Cutie - 28%

I agree, I dont tend to reply to people who write to me saying "your so beautiful" bleh!

however the PUA stuff has been on to that trend for years and Ive heard they reccomend complimenting a woman on being interesting or deep.


And here i had a minor crush on lotusblossom b/c she was the senstive type. Guess it won't work out :wink:

i am quite sensitive but I dont like insincerity, or people trying to 'use' me.

I dont think your a PUA so my coments dont really relate to you and most women would probably realise you were genuine rather than 'trying it on', however there are an awful lot of PUA types out there, esp on dating sites and women do have to be careful.



Bethie
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24 Mar 2011, 2:29 am

PICK UP ARTIST!! !

< Figured it out, and didn't hafta Google. 8)


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24 Mar 2011, 2:46 am

Bethie wrote:
PICK UP ARTIST!! !

< Figured it out, and didn't hafta Google. 8)


I had to google, the fail is strong in me today :(

Quote:
I do not think that all men who make compliments have sinister motives


Muhahaha! :twisted:


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lotusblossom
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24 Mar 2011, 3:01 am

Laz wrote:
Bethie wrote:
PICK UP ARTIST!! !

< Figured it out, and didn't hafta Google. 8)


I had to google, the fail is strong in me today :(


Laz how on earth could you have known tom all these years and not know all about PUA? Has he not told you all about his adventures meeting up with others on the PUA forums?

Quote:
Quote:
I do not think that all men who make compliments have sinister motives


Muhahaha! :twisted:

lol



hill-o-beans
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24 Mar 2011, 3:07 am

I have met PUA men. I don't say PUA if I tell people about those people I met, as they don't know what it means. I just say seducer men or something.

I think everyone reads the books now though as I was in a bar in birmingham chatting to some men i met about their day out and they were all using "pua" terms. All the men on the show "jersey shore" say them too. i saw 5 mins of the show and needed to vomit.



Bethie
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24 Mar 2011, 4:34 am

hill-o-beans wrote:
I have met PUA men. I don't say PUA if I tell people about those people I met, as they don't know what it means. I just say seducer men or something.

I think everyone reads the books now though as I was in a bar in birmingham chatting to some men i met about their day out and they were all using "pua" terms. All the men on the show "jersey shore" say them too. i saw 5 mins of the show and needed to vomit.



...it sounds like a sneeze. :lol:


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For there is another kind of violence, slower but just as deadly, destructive as the shot or the bomb in the night. This is the violence of institutions; indifference and inaction and slow decay.


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24 Mar 2011, 11:25 am

lotusblossom wrote:
Frieslander wrote:
lotusblossom wrote:
Suomalainen wrote:
Well at least in OKCupid announcing that you have been checking their looks out doesn't seem to work. Can't post the link but the blog post is named Exactly What To Say In A First Message.

Average reply rate to a first message is around 32%

To first messages containing words:
Sexy - 18%
Beautiful - 21%
Hot - 25%
Cutie - 28%

I agree, I dont tend to reply to people who write to me saying "your so beautiful" bleh!

however the PUA stuff has been on to that trend for years and Ive heard they reccomend complimenting a woman on being interesting or deep.


And here i had a minor crush on lotusblossom b/c she was the senstive type. Guess it won't work out :wink:

i am quite sensitive but I dont like insincerity, or people trying to 'use' me.

I dont think your a PUA so my coments dont really relate to you and most women would probably realise you were genuine rather than 'trying it on', however there are an awful lot of PUA types out there, esp on dating sites and women do have to be careful.


Actually, I should have used the words "romantic, clingy type" which you used over in the adult forum. I am definitely not a PUA. I am sincere when I tell someone something, and I have never picked up anyone, so to speak. When I tell someone about their looks, I should clarify, there's something abouot the way they smile that tells me something about them and what I am looking for in a woman.


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Friesland = a province in the Netherlands. Pronounced so that it rhymes the English word "free" (not "fry"). I live in the USA, but I have a Frisian surname and all-Dutch ancestry. Just a minor Aspie obsession of mine.