I deserve to punish myself

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It does for the person who stringently lives by presupposition of the rigidity of the former and seemingly never considers the arguably more relevant latter.


I'm still failing to understand how a heartfelt expression of emotion and affection and admiration is "desperate and clingy".

OH WOW!! ! Not all women are the SAME? Give me a minute to take this in...

Well, it looks like you also missed out on mentioning the importance of facial symmetry, social roles and... your favorite... pheromone compatibility! Can't forget those, now, because we all know every post is an attempt at writing a full-fledged treatise on all the qualities underlying attraction.

And the latter is irrelevant in this analysis because, as far as can be inferred, that wasn't what the problem was or, if it was, there is not enough information for inferring that and there is no way to find out from the internet.

Last edited by swbluto on 03 May 2011, 2:12 am, edited 1 time in total.

You have to consider it from her perspective. She didn't even know this guy very well and he was already practically declaring his love for her -- that screams "desperate" and the fact the guy was trying to secure a relationship right from the starting gate yells "I neeeeed a relationship." like a clingy person.

Odds of some girl actually thinking I'm attractive (and it being mutual) at my job or even in my major are poor (very few women in the field I'm going into). The sample size just isn't large enough. After getting rejected by the scores of women that I've asked out, I can definitely conclude that girls are picky or that I'm not very attractive. I see my attractive friend go up to them and chit chat about the same things and get an entirely different result even though we think about these things almost entirely the same way.

How about the girl at the library that always stares at me or looks friendly? There's good odds there. Way better odds than that girl that doesn't check me out or hold eye contact with me at work even though we get along amazing. Why would I throw my ego on the tracks and ask her out? Nope, we'd be better off as friends. Library girl, though, would at least come out on a date with me.

I think the blindly asking girls out phase has mostly ended. I can tell when they're into me so well now that I can almost be certain what the answer is going to be like before I even ask them out, so it's not really blind anymore.

As far as the letter being desperate and loserish as opposed to thoughtful and cute has everything to do with the person it's addressed to. If she isn't interested in him, it's more likely to seem desperate.

For me personally it would turn me off, because I don't like talking about my feelings much, it makes me seem soft. I am a sub to men (It's what I prefer) so I don't like sensitive new age guys. Those guys can make ok friends (the best male friends i've had know how to respect women but aren't sensitive new age guys) but they are more likely able to get into a relationship with someone who likes to boss their boyfriend around, or someone extremely timid and more sensitive than him.

I know many couples like this.

Note: This is based on my observations and learnings only.

Yawn. It's p****. Stop wrapping your sense of self-worth around it.

You are making yourself into a time bomb by getting so spun up about this BS.

Brian has this clingyness tinged with entitlement and anger that comes off to girls as creepy.

charming :roll: