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blue_bean
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01 Jul 2011, 4:45 am

MXH wrote:
I think the saying is its better to have loved and lost than not loved at all.


I disagree with that saying very much.



Moog
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01 Jul 2011, 5:03 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Moog wrote:
GoatOnFire wrote:
Moog wrote:
I don't get how being without a primary relationship is inherently hurtful. :?:

It isn't. Other people are the ones who make it hurt. obichris put it very nicely.


Hmm, how did I become immune to that? I don't know. People wouldn't dare treat me like that. It would be helpful if I could transmit that, but I'm not sure how. Maybe it's just age... are you guys still in your teens/twenties?

People sometimes respectfully inquire as to my relationship status, and I just tell the truth, and that seems to be the end of it.


What's your job? What's your work setting? How much people exposure you get on daily basis?


Not constant. I'll let you know if getting another job makes me tragically depressed about my singledom (like being unemployed and single isn't hard)

If it's a work thing, it's probably just a lever being used against you in status/power games. Probably better to approach dealing with it from that perspective.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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01 Jul 2011, 8:51 am

Moog wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Moog wrote:
GoatOnFire wrote:
Moog wrote:
I don't get how being without a primary relationship is inherently hurtful. :?:

It isn't. Other people are the ones who make it hurt. obichris put it very nicely.


Hmm, how did I become immune to that? I don't know. People wouldn't dare treat me like that. It would be helpful if I could transmit that, but I'm not sure how. Maybe it's just age... are you guys still in your teens/twenties?

People sometimes respectfully inquire as to my relationship status, and I just tell the truth, and that seems to be the end of it.


What's your job? What's your work setting? How much people exposure you get on daily basis?


Not constant. I'll let you know if getting another job makes me tragically depressed about my singledom (like being unemployed and single isn't hard)

If it's a work thing, it's probably just a lever being used against you in status/power games. Probably better to approach dealing with it from that perspective.


Things change when you start interacting with people on daily basis.

Even you change.



Moog
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01 Jul 2011, 8:53 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Moog wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Moog wrote:
GoatOnFire wrote:
Moog wrote:
I don't get how being without a primary relationship is inherently hurtful. :?:

It isn't. Other people are the ones who make it hurt. obichris put it very nicely.


Hmm, how did I become immune to that? I don't know. People wouldn't dare treat me like that. It would be helpful if I could transmit that, but I'm not sure how. Maybe it's just age... are you guys still in your teens/twenties?

People sometimes respectfully inquire as to my relationship status, and I just tell the truth, and that seems to be the end of it.


What's your job? What's your work setting? How much people exposure you get on daily basis?


Not constant. I'll let you know if getting another job makes me tragically depressed about my singledom (like being unemployed and single isn't hard)

If it's a work thing, it's probably just a lever being used against you in status/power games. Probably better to approach dealing with it from that perspective.


Things change when you start interacting with people on daily basis.

Even you change.


Who me? 8O

Change is the only constant.


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Xayah
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01 Jul 2011, 9:22 am

:(

It's hard to feel like you don't have common ground with other people your age. Relationships can be a wonderful part of life but you know, they are just one part. You might never have a relationship, not saying you can't, but it happens with some people. Even if you don't, it doesn't mean there isn't so many other great things for you in this life.

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justjelliot
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01 Jul 2011, 9:39 am

Xayah wrote:
:(

It's hard to feel like you don't have common ground with other people your age. Relationships can be a wonderful part of life but you know, they are just one part. You might never have a relationship, not saying you can't, but it happens with some people. Even if you don't, it doesn't mean there isn't so many other great things for you in this life.

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I just read your ten reasons to date an Aspie. Awesome, well done.


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01 Jul 2011, 9:57 am

blue_bean wrote:
MXH wrote:
I think the saying is its better to have loved and lost than not loved at all.


I disagree with that saying very much.

You may dissagree with it right now/for some years after youve been hurt and its normal to do so. But in time you´ll have some sort of memories to remember about those that you loved(even if they hurted you) whereas if you hadnt loved you´d be wondering what love´s like(which is not a pleasant expierence).



Xayah
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01 Jul 2011, 10:01 am

justjelliot wrote:
Xayah wrote:
:(

It's hard to feel like you don't have common ground with other people your age. Relationships can be a wonderful part of life but you know, they are just one part. You might never have a relationship, not saying you can't, but it happens with some people. Even if you don't, it doesn't mean there isn't so many other great things for you in this life.

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I just read your ten reasons to date an Aspie. Awesome, well done.



Aww thank you! :D

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The_Face_of_Boo
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01 Jul 2011, 10:51 am

spongy wrote:
blue_bean wrote:
MXH wrote:
I think the saying is its better to have loved and lost than not loved at all.


I disagree with that saying very much.

You may dissagree with it right now/for some years after youve been hurt and its normal to do so. But in time you´ll have some sort of memories to remember about those that you loved(even if they hurted you) whereas if you hadnt loved you´d be wondering what love´s like(which is not a pleasant expierence).


He's right, and if I recall right, blue_bean, you posted your story few weeks ago so you proobably feel very bitter and sad right now, you might think that your current feeling is the worst feeling in the world, maybe that's true only for a while, but after 1 year it's not.



metaphysics
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01 Jul 2011, 11:13 am

I will never argue with you....

However, anything else can support your theory? It is a very interesting one,and may worth to evaluate, because we can see that your opinion is becoming common in this thread.

I am curious about how would you explain your theory...



Last edited by metaphysics on 01 Jul 2011, 11:21 am, edited 1 time in total.

Laz
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01 Jul 2011, 11:18 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
spongy wrote:
blue_bean wrote:
MXH wrote:
I think the saying is its better to have loved and lost than not loved at all.


I disagree with that saying very much.

You may dissagree with it right now/for some years after youve been hurt and its normal to do so. But in time you´ll have some sort of memories to remember about those that you loved(even if they hurted you) whereas if you hadnt loved you´d be wondering what love´s like(which is not a pleasant expierence).


He's right, and if I recall right, blue_bean, you posted your story few weeks ago so you proobably feel very bitter and sad right now, you might think that your current feeling is the worst feeling in the world, maybe that's true only for a while, but after 1 year it's not.


Abusive/manipulative relationships were you come out the loser arn't cool.

Taken to its most extreme and perverted logic It would be like telling someone sexually groomed in their childhood/early adolescence. Hey at least you got laid!


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metaphysics
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01 Jul 2011, 11:20 am

Ladies and Gents, please answer my question, thank you very much for it!



Laz
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01 Jul 2011, 11:21 am

Only if you answer my riddle....


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metaphysics
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01 Jul 2011, 11:57 am

Laz wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
spongy wrote:
blue_bean wrote:
MXH wrote:
I think the saying is its better to have loved and lost than not loved at all.


I disagree with that saying very much.

You may dissagree with it right now/for some years after youve been hurt and its normal to do so. But in time you´ll have some sort of memories to remember about those that you loved(even if they hurted you) whereas if you hadnt loved you´d be wondering what love´s like(which is not a pleasant expierence).


He's right, and if I recall right, blue_bean, you posted your story few weeks ago so you proobably feel very bitter and sad right now, you might think that your current feeling is the worst feeling in the world, maybe that's true only for a while, but after 1 year it's not.


Abusive/manipulative relationships were you come out the loser arn't cool.

Taken to its most extreme and perverted logic It would be like telling someone sexually groomed in their childhood/early adolescence. Hey at least you got laid!


You perhaps trying to lead the thread into a narrow corner..

I am going to read my Fraud quickly, may also Henry Havelock Ellis, and see if I can find some approperiate answers from them...

I am reading poetry for several days.. Go back to them sounds a little bit painful :oops: ( psychology was one of my hobbies :lol: )

But let's please go back to the thread, for the author's sake, I would like to discuss with you about it if you are interested to make another post. :wink:



Bataar
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01 Jul 2011, 12:47 pm

I'm in the same boat, only I'm 32 :(

I just never meet women, that's my biggest problem. I never get a chance to even fail at interacting with them.



The_Face_of_Boo
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01 Jul 2011, 2:45 pm

Laz wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
spongy wrote:
blue_bean wrote:
MXH wrote:
I think the saying is its better to have loved and lost than not loved at all.


I disagree with that saying very much.

You may dissagree with it right now/for some years after youve been hurt and its normal to do so. But in time you´ll have some sort of memories to remember about those that you loved(even if they hurted you) whereas if you hadnt loved you´d be wondering what love´s like(which is not a pleasant expierence).


He's right, and if I recall right, blue_bean, you posted your story few weeks ago so you proobably feel very bitter and sad right now, you might think that your current feeling is the worst feeling in the world, maybe that's true only for a while, but after 1 year it's not.


Abusive/manipulative relationships were you come out the loser arn't cool.

Taken to its most extreme and perverted logic It would be like telling someone sexually groomed in their childhood/early adolescence. Hey at least you got laid!


Well, I don't think they are, but most relationships don't start as abusive (or this how they look like), and most of those who ever got an abusive relationships, didn't get only a one relationship by their 30s, well I have no stats, but it's just an estimation. And who knows? I might end up in an abusive relationship in the future (yet I doubt it, I would kick her ass out on the spot), my current state doesn't protect me from this coming.