If it turned out your partner was transsexual...

Post Reply New Topic

No matter what gender you identify as, there is no way that a MtF person can become pregnant, nor is there a way for a FtM person impregnate someone (excluding artificial ways). Surgery and hormones can only do so much. That's where the problem lies, so kindly get off your high horse, would you?

That's rather insensitive, even if you're kidding.

Well, first off, I'm right, and second, no one would ever say I'm nice.

I would be a bit uncomfortable with it. I would be more inclined to date a female who used to be a male.

However I would still want to stay friends.

hurrah!

Ah righty, good luck, then. I'm not sure what to say other than that as anyone who cares about it negatively is not someone you should be seeing anyway, you should perhaps be open about being transgender- (which is less likely to trigger an attack of the phobic "ews!!), but don't go into the specifics of being transsexual. *shrugs* I dunno.

People don't have to date anyone they don't want to. Not wanting to date a transsexual doesn't mean that you have anything against them in general.

People are only saying the dishonest stuff because the thread is called "What would you do if you found out someone you are dating is a transsexual"

I have bolded bits in question. If you find out someone you are already dating is a transsexual, it means they were not upfront and honest about it before they started dating you.

I think if you're interested in dating someone you should make the fact you are Transgenders known as soon as possible.I'm sure it would be uncomfortable for you to tell someone you fancy something that might repel them.But If a relationship starts to be based off of lies and half truths it was doomed from the beginning.

I do think that there needs to be the distinction between having found out after they were a partner and finding out while you were potentially interested in them.

As I said before, I'd be upset if I found out and they were already a partner. I'd have felt like they hid something big from me. I'd feel similarly upset if someone hid that they were bisexual, or even hid that they knew they were an aspie. Anyone who would be a partner should be someone I know well, and being transgender /is/ part of their life. Its not about there being something icky about someone having been a different gender, its about being open and trusting. Trust should occur /before/ a relationship in my mind. Not having told me means they don't trust /me/ despite being a big part of my life, which is unacceptable.

Of course I don't believe in meeting someone and going out on a date, I believe in relationships coming from friendships. This does bias me towards knowing details about people before any potential relationship would begin.

If they were a potential partner and I found out, then I'd respond with approximately "oh, okay, I know a bunch of people on IRC who are transgender."

It wouldn't be okay with me at all. The male and female brains are different in so many complex ways. And we wouldn't have kids as an option.

Hey, also counted as TS.

amy

Thank you for the luck! I hope it serves me well.
To be honest, as much as some of you might disagree with it, I doubt I'd reveal my birth sex post-transition to anyone. To me, it'd be like telling everyone that I'd once had appendicitis and had since had my appendix removed. It's unnecessary and it'll just bring up stupid questions. At the end of the day, I've never been 'female' in the proper sense, I've just got a body that looks female & produces female hormones pretty much 'by accident' and I seek to correct that.

Didn't a chap known as Gallileoace come out M to F transgender and screw his hetro partner up quite badly at the time.

Or is that one of WP's taboo subjects?

Terminology in this area makes my head explode, so correct me where needed.

My ex boyfriend is now my ex girlfriend.
At the time I knew that he wanted to be a she despite his attempts at making himself seem more masculine, as we discussed his like to wear female clothing and how much he wanted rid of his penis, and it didn't phase me. I'd have loved her just as much if she had become a woman while we were together, although now I've firmly planted her in the 'female's I'm not interested in' category of my mind, I still love her very much as a friend and I love that she's now this wonderful new person who's so much happier in herself...although I'm less impressed that she now has better breasts than me!

Theoretically I wouldn't have that much of a problem with it.
Non-surgical transsexual/transgender people could be a problem for me in that I'm attracted to males and females in different ways, so if they were male gender but biologically female that may not work for me, it depends on the person and situation as to whether I could carry on dating them. Looking at those who have had Sex reassignment surgery, MtF would be fine for me, however FtM may be a bit more of a problem because sorry to any FtM people out there, as great as it must be for you to have a penis unfortunately you guys do tend to lose-out when it comes to length and I tend to stick to bigger guys - again though, depends on the person and the situation. FAR too many issues and variables involved to rule-out transsexual people all together.

As for being dishonest - what choice do they have?!
People are intolerant and ignorant, some would happily beat transsexual people to death just for existing, it's not always safe for transsexual people to be that open with their partners. If you were to tell your current partners that you were a transsexual person how do you suppose they would react? How about saying this to a new partner or a one-night-stand? Is honesty really worth being mocked, raped, beaten and left to die alone in a gutter? Sure you may not want to date a transsexual person, but you can't blame them for not being open about who/what they are/were.

It's not black and white either, it's several shades of grey...

Example #1 - you are a woman, you dress and act as a woman, you live as a woman, you may have even had hormone therapy and breast implants to make yourself look like a woman anatomically, but you still have a penis...I don't think anyone appreciates a surprise penis. You have to tell them, and if they're not into penis then it's reasonable for them not to want to carry on the relationship.

Example #2 - you are a woman, you dress and act as a woman, you live as a woman, you have hormone therapy and breast implants to make yourself look like a woman anatomically, AND you have surgery to turn you from an outie to an innie...you've been female long enough that you've fully made the transition - you ARE a woman (FYI not being able to get pregnant doesn't define what a woman is any more than having breasts or wearing a dress does!). There's no dishonesty in telling your partner that you are a woman and there's no contradiction to their sexuality if you carry on the relationship. Although, I'd hope a transsexual person could find happiness with someone who can accept who they are so that they could eventually let their partners know who they were.

If I already had strong feelings toward that person, I wouldn't mind at all (I don't think, anyway). I wouldn't immediately turn them down if I found out before I had strong feelings for them, it just might take longer for me to get to know them (or feel like that, at least).

I don't think this issue was mentioned yet. It could be a problem if the tran's partner was wanting a relationship that would lead to marriage because they may not be able to get married if they are in an area where same sex marriage is illegal