swbluto
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17 Aug 2011, 8:18 pm
MountZion wrote:
Chronos wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Chronos wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Moog wrote:
swbluto wrote:
Every time a female states something along the lines of "Woah is me, I can't find a boyfriend cuz I'm socially awkward" or whatever reason, there are multiple offers from guys but whenever a guy says the same thing, the girls just say "Cheer up", "You need a better attitude", etc. Does anyone else find this funny? 
Is the "inequality" between the sexes in the dating arena any more obvious? I mean, yes, I know girls like to think they have the exact same problems as guys, so guys are just belly aching, but there really seems to be a difference here. Note, I'm not belly aching myself as I haven't exactly had problems with the ladies, I just thought it's funny how naive some people are in their seeming egalitarian beliefs.
Is the "inequality" between the sexes in the dating arena any more obvious? I mean, yes, I know girls like to think they have the exact same problems as guys, so guys are just belly aching, but there really seems to be a difference here. Note, I'm not belly aching myself as I haven't exactly had problems with the ladies, I just thought it's funny how naive some people are in their seeming egalitarian beliefs.
This is not 'inequality', this is a reflection of natural differences in biological imperative between the sexes.
That's true, men usually more likely to tolerate social awkwardness, neediness and desperation in the women that they would date, they are simple more likely to tolerate any form of weakness in them. Women, on the other hand , avoid those traits like the plague.
I've found that many NT men have a strong aversion to many traits that women with AS have.
In fact women with As are frequently ignored completely by NT men with the occasional exception of predators.
I am not talking about aspie women, just talking in general.
And most men here aren't NTs.
I think we just have to conclude that we don't meet most NT standards. But can we really be upset with them for having some of the standards they do?
Not really IMO. People like what they like, for whatever reason.
Yeah, uhhh, I MIGHT be NT and I like several cognitive traits that aspie females seem to possess (At least on THIS forum.) over the cognitive traits that most female NTs possess. I just can't stand their annoying obsessions with fads du jour and superficial chit-chat. (Well actually, I can stand it, but it's a bit annoying.)
17 Aug 2011, 8:22 pm
swbluto wrote:
MountZion wrote:
Chronos wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Chronos wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Moog wrote:
swbluto wrote:
Every time a female states something along the lines of "Woah is me, I can't find a boyfriend cuz I'm socially awkward" or whatever reason, there are multiple offers from guys but whenever a guy says the same thing, the girls just say "Cheer up", "You need a better attitude", etc. Does anyone else find this funny?
Is the "inequality" between the sexes in the dating arena any more obvious? I mean, yes, I know girls like to think they have the exact same problems as guys, so guys are just belly aching, but there really seems to be a difference here. Note, I'm not belly aching myself as I haven't exactly had problems with the ladies, I just thought it's funny how naive some people are in their seeming egalitarian beliefs.
Is the "inequality" between the sexes in the dating arena any more obvious? I mean, yes, I know girls like to think they have the exact same problems as guys, so guys are just belly aching, but there really seems to be a difference here. Note, I'm not belly aching myself as I haven't exactly had problems with the ladies, I just thought it's funny how naive some people are in their seeming egalitarian beliefs.
This is not 'inequality', this is a reflection of natural differences in biological imperative between the sexes.
That's true, men usually more likely to tolerate social awkwardness, neediness and desperation in the women that they would date, they are simple more likely to tolerate any form of weakness in them. Women, on the other hand , avoid those traits like the plague.
I've found that many NT men have a strong aversion to many traits that women with AS have.
In fact women with As are frequently ignored completely by NT men with the occasional exception of predators.
I am not talking about aspie women, just talking in general.
And most men here aren't NTs.
I think we just have to conclude that we don't meet most NT standards. But can we really be upset with them for having some of the standards they do?
Not really IMO. People like what they like, for whatever reason.
Yeah, uhhh, I MIGHT be NT and I like several cognitive traits that aspie females seem to possess (At least on THIS forum.) over the cognitive traits that most female NTs possess. I just can't stand their annoying obsessions with fads du jour and superficial chit-chat. (Well actually, I can stand it, but it's a bit annoying.)
You can stand it, but you'd rather sit it out.
ValentineWiggin
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17 Aug 2011, 8:26 pm
RightGalaxy wrote:
nick007 wrote:
RightGalaxy wrote:
When a female belly aches about being lonely, guys jump at the chance of "getting laid by a desperato". They figure if she's that lonely, their chances of getting to the beef without spending a whole lot of cash is VERY possible. Women, on the other hand, figure that if a guy is SO lonely, he must be a loser. NOBODY is a loser. Life and love are chance things. Do you jump at the chance of going out with a girl who complains she's lonely?
I jumped at the chance of getting a date when I heard women talk about being lonely. It was NEVER about trying to to get laid for me. I'm a borderline asexual. I was desperate for love NOT sex & those desperate women would not even give me half a chance
What does borderline asexual mean?
Did you tell these women you were asexual?It means I spent damn near two pages of posts trying to get him to understand what asexuality is,
but he insists on wrongly proclaiming it to mean not desirous of the sex act, or only desirous of it in this or that situation, or some such nonsense. I really have no idea.
nick007
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17 Aug 2011, 9:03 pm
ValentineWiggin wrote:
RightGalaxy wrote:
nick007 wrote:
RightGalaxy wrote:
When a female belly aches about being lonely, guys jump at the chance of "getting laid by a desperato". They figure if she's that lonely, their chances of getting to the beef without spending a whole lot of cash is VERY possible. Women, on the other hand, figure that if a guy is SO lonely, he must be a loser. NOBODY is a loser. Life and love are chance things. Do you jump at the chance of going out with a girl who complains she's lonely?
I jumped at the chance of getting a date when I heard women talk about being lonely. It was NEVER about trying to to get laid for me. I'm a borderline asexual. I was desperate for love NOT sex & those desperate women would not even give me half a chance
What does borderline asexual mean?
Did you tell these women you were asexual?It means I spent damn near two pages of posts trying to get him to understand what asexuality is,
but he insists on wrongly proclaiming it to mean not desirous of the sex act, or only desirous of it in this or that situation, or some such nonsense. I really have no idea.
The definition of asexual that me & lots of people on AVEN, other asexual sites, every time I heard the word asexual mentioned offline, on TV, & the majority of the time I heard it mentioned online is lack of desire for sex. Asexuals are people who are NOT into sex. What I mean by borderline asexual is that my desire to have sex or not would depend on my partner's desire. I didn't have a desire to have sex the last 7/8 years & I would only really have a desire to if Megz did & that would be more about being close, intimate, affectionate & making her happy than the actual sex act
ValentineWiggin
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17 Aug 2011, 10:28 pm
nick007
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17 Aug 2011, 10:40 pm
ValentineWiggin
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17 Aug 2011, 11:06 pm
nick007
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17 Aug 2011, 11:15 pm
ValentineWiggin
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18 Aug 2011, 1:18 am
nick007
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18 Aug 2011, 1:28 am
ValentineWiggin wrote:
nick007 wrote:
ValentineWiggin wrote:
nick007 wrote:
ValentineWiggin wrote:
nick007 wrote:
The definition of asexual that me & lots of people on AVEN, other asexual sites, every time I heard the word asexual mentioned offline, on TV, & the majority of the time I heard it mentioned online is lack of desire for sex. Asexuals are people who are NOT into sex. What I mean by borderline asexual is that my desire to have sex or not would depend on my partner's desire. I didn't have a desire to have sex the last 7/8 years & I would only really have a desire to if Megz did & that would be more about being close, intimate, affectionate & making her happy than the actual sex act
Cool story, bro.
I don't particularly care where you formed your misconceptions, though, or for hearing them repeated ad nauseum.
You brought it up by talking about YOUR misconceptions in reference to my post here
Sorry, dude. "A buncha other people seem to use it this way" ain't a defense for erasure of people with a non-majoritive sexual orientation.
Keep your argumentum ad populums.
I think the majority definition is the one that should be used for labels in order to prevent confusion but you obliviously don't agree so we should agree to disagree because we won't agree
See above.
Could you explain what you mean by ad populums
I looked up the phrase on wikie & it says~Quote:
In logic, an argumentum ad populum (Latin for "appeal to the people") is a fallacious argument that concludes a proposition to be true because many or most people believe it; it alleges: "If many believe so, it is so."
& that IS the exact argument I am making so I don't understand why you are telling me to keep that argument unless you are being sarcastic
18 Aug 2011, 2:11 am
nick007 wrote:
Could you explain what you mean by ad populums I looked up the phrase on wikie & it says~
& that IS the exact argument I am making so I don't understand why you are telling me to keep that argument unless you are being sarcastic
I looked up the phrase on wikie & it says~Quote:
In logic, an argumentum ad populum (Latin for "appeal to the people") is a fallacious argument that concludes a proposition to be true because many or most people believe it; it alleges: "If many believe so, it is so."
& that IS the exact argument I am making so I don't understand why you are telling me to keep that argument unless you are being sarcastic
She has a sarcastic streak and is almost certainly being sarcastic.
Since words get their meaning by how they are used, though, I don't think it is a fallacy to specify that popular usage determines definitions. Dictionaries track popular word usage, not the other way around.
ValentineWiggin
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18 Aug 2011, 12:02 pm
nick007
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18 Aug 2011, 12:26 pm
Ancalagon wrote:
nick007 wrote:
Could you explain what you mean by ad populums I looked up the phrase on wikie & it says~
& that IS the exact argument I am making so I don't understand why you are telling me to keep that argument unless you are being sarcastic
I looked up the phrase on wikie & it says~Quote:
In logic, an argumentum ad populum (Latin for "appeal to the people") is a fallacious argument that concludes a proposition to be true because many or most people believe it; it alleges: "If many believe so, it is so."
& that IS the exact argument I am making so I don't understand why you are telling me to keep that argument unless you are being sarcastic
She has a sarcastic streak and is almost certainly being sarcastic.
Since words get their meaning by how they are used, though, I don't think it is a fallacy to specify that popular usage determines definitions. Dictionaries track popular word usage, not the other way around.
EXACTLY. The definition of labels change as the way people use em do does. The people who are using it as lack of sexual attraction are in the minority.
ValentineWiggin wrote:
I wasn't being sarcastic- I called him out on a fallacy, and he said "Sho nuff, that's what I'm sayin', what about it?"
No matter how many people mis-use a label doesn't change it's denotative meaning:
there are no vegetarian fish-eaters or lesbians attracted to men.
If people insist on hijacking a label and making up a meaning for it,
or, worse, vehemently defending their misuse of it with "E'erbody else sez it that way, so THERE!"
then at the very least provide a serious proposal for a new term to apply to the group of people whom you've just erased:
If we're going to misuse "asexual" to denote some ambiguous reference to a low sex drive or desire to engage in sex,
then what do you suggest I, lacking sexual attraction, and the others lacking sexual attraction, call ourselves, since the term etymologically-analogous to homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual attractions, etc has been misappropriated?
No matter how many people mis-use a label doesn't change it's denotative meaning:
there are no vegetarian fish-eaters or lesbians attracted to men.
If people insist on hijacking a label and making up a meaning for it,
or, worse, vehemently defending their misuse of it with "E'erbody else sez it that way, so THERE!"
then at the very least provide a serious proposal for a new term to apply to the group of people whom you've just erased:
If we're going to misuse "asexual" to denote some ambiguous reference to a low sex drive or desire to engage in sex,
then what do you suggest I, lacking sexual attraction, and the others lacking sexual attraction, call ourselves, since the term etymologically-analogous to homosexual, heterosexual, bisexual attractions, etc has been misappropriated?
I think part of the issue here is that some Aspies like you are very literal & technical with words & you can NOT handle that the mainstream use is different than your use. The rezone I am no longer going to asexual sites is because I started to feel unaccepted by the asexual community for talking about how I would be willing to have sex if my partner did. Lots of asexuals had NO desire to have sax at all & they saw me as a poser/fake/fraud even thou I don't experience sexual attraction; I'm attracted to women based on personality & I don't have sexual thoughts or fantasies about em so I think I would meet the definition of lack of sexual attraction.
18 Aug 2011, 12:51 pm
nick007
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18 Aug 2011, 1:03 pm
18 Aug 2011, 1:10 pm
