I don't care if people call me a "misogynist"

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I've changed myself numerous times over the past years to try and fit in.

At age 12 I started inviting people into my house, letting them borrow things, and did other stuff like fixing food for them. I did all that stuff so they would like me, I figured if they would be nice to me if I was nice to them. The result? They were nice to me only when I had something they wanted and when they got their stuff, they were nowhere to be found. I hardly ever got back any of the stuff that I lent out.

At age 14, I started to wear the latest clothes in style (girbauds, air force ones, way-to-large T-shirts) and started listening to popular music (T.I., Ludacris. Ying Yang Twins, Little John, Lil Wayne, etc) I thought that if I did this people would respect me more and that girls would notice me. The result? I got a few compliments about my clothes but for the most part I was still treated the same, and of course girls still ignored and made fun of me.

Age 16, getting tired of the people I was trying to hang around tease me about never kissing a girl and still having my virginity, I made up a story about me dating this girl at school, so that they would get off my back. Now the girl was real, as I had a crush on her, but the part about me dating her wasn't. It worked well for a few months, as people thought I was going out with her. It got people to stop teasing me and even got people to look at me normal, as an actual decent-looking girl was interested in me. It was going well until the actual girl found about the lie. She confronted me at school, it was one of the least favorite moments of my life. She was merciless, and I can still hear the herds of people laughing at me. It was horrid.

I quit school after that, as it was near the end of my 2nd year in the 9th grade and I was failing miserably. I figured what the heck? I'm not going to graduated anyway, and I couldn't bear going back after what happened. Of course EVERYONE that I was "friends" with stop speaking to me afterwards.

At age 20, I finally quit being in denial about my aspergers. ( dx'd at age 12) That's when I found this site. I started reading some success stories on here and thought "wow if they can have friends, date, and be happy so can I) I had a plan: I was going to get my GED, go to community college, then go to a real college to find a good job so I wouldn't be poor for the rest of my life. I also planned on getting a gym membership and working out regularly, to get into shape to impress women. Reality set in after a while. Like, how would I have made it through college when I have nothing more than a fifth grade education. I can barely do simple fractions and only know simple time tables. Also, how would I be able to motivate myself to work out when I can't even get myself to bathe every day or week.

I gave up on those unrealistic dreams a while ago.


At age 22 I turn into the person I am now. I was always lonely and a bit depressed, but I became very pessimistic and bitter at the people in the world for the way I am now and how I was treated growing up.
I realized that I was probably going to be alone for the rest of my life with no hope for friends or spouses. Who wants to be friends or go out with an ugly, uneducated, slow bum that's in his 20s, still lives with his parents, and has no prospects for a good future.





I've tried, tried, and tried some more. Every time to no avail, why bother trying anymore when there's no hope.

I don't think I've ever been out to specifically meet girls. I used to go to the mall and movies with some people back in my teens, but I never spoke to any strange girls though. Also, I've never been to any clubs or bars

The problem is that I was born without most of the basic tools to play. I wouldn't exactly call it a game either.

So true. Any person who says "i'm good enough" and refuses to change themselves is not only fooling themselves but they are missing out on the growth of character. They are also missing out on love, because real love is a decision to keep going when the lust of a relationship fades away. Real love takes continual compromise, and it's worth it.

That being said I was in a similar situation of hating everybody because I hadn't found my soul mate who had been through as much emotional battering as myself and was willing to compromise as much as me (unlike all the women before who knew nothing of what I was giving up to be "normal" and were not willing or understand what meeting them half way was)

P.S. if you think you are ugly and that will stop you finding a girl friend you are very very misinformed. As every woman knows you can buy good looks (and women are a lot less fussy, seriously!) Follow these tips and you will be handsome:

1) Pay too much for a haircut.
2) Buy aftershave
3) Shave
4) Buy nice clothes (ask a queer eye kind for advice). (The more over/under weight the more you have to spend)
5) Take photos of yourself and photoshop them until you think you look great.
6) Put photos on dating sites (when they meet you, they will forgive the picture because you smell nice and treat them with respect)
7) Be superficial with anybody you talk to or spend time with and only tell them three minutes per day about how crazy you are and then change the subject. Everybody has crazy to let out, but there is no point in letting them know how much until they are hooked. Be mysterious, and handsome.

Last edited by Knifey on 20 Aug 2011, 3:01 am, edited 1 time in total.

I don't understand how being proud of who you are is fooling yourself. Many people are good enough, It's not their fault mainstream society wants them to change just because they are a little different.

Edit: If doing things on that list supposedly make you handsome, then I'd rather be ugly.

I have AS and i'd rather be ugly too. I'm just saying what attractive is to most people. Also I never said you shouldn't be proud of who you are. You can be proud of who you are and still know you're not the best possible version of yourself, how conceited are you that you think there is no room for improvement?

edit: and i'm not talking about what mainstream society or anybody else wants you to be. you should want to improve yourself just so you can say "i've learned something in life, and i'm better for it"

I never said they was no room for any improvements. I'm just wary of what some of these improvements maybe and that they may not be improvements at all imo. E.g. people telling me I should wear certain types of clothes is not an improvement.

Anyway isn't being conceited a good thing these days, don't women find confidence attractive?

I believe that, too. I wanted to be friends with girls and later with women, and finally getting a girlfriend more easily. But I failed terribly. I wonder what interest women have to "create" misogynists? Why? I understand it. I would say it is not advantageous. So I keep on wondering about the reason.

Women treat me like a person, not like a man with a sexuality.

I wouldn't see misogynism as a depression, although I had a discussion about it some years ago with my psychologist. In my case, medication is out of the question and I am not depressive enough. On other areas than love and sexuality I am not depressive at all (I am happy rather than that) so medication for depression has been refused.

I think the key here is when you say "imo". If you are "improving" yourself to fit in and make other people like you isn't your opinion beside the point and meaningless? I think the hardest thing to come to terms with was understanding everybody does things to fit in. Most people do it automatically and subconsciously but for people with AS it seems fake and cliche` because we have to do it consciously. And don't tell me you don't care what other people think about you because your whole rant is that OTHER PEOPLE aren't nice to you (ie women). Just because you do things to make others at ease (like wear a shirt that they like) doesn't mean they won't get to know the real you, it's the thing that allows them to see the real you. everybody alters what they say and do to make the other person like them more. you have to keep doing it, forever. Its just how we human beings make each other at ease. It's the definition of being nice.

let me just wrap that up by saying, if everybody had access to what everybody else was thinking nobody would talk to each other again let alone have sex. Then people with AS that say what ever pops into their heads with no regard for how it makes others feel wonder why they aren't getting laid.

edit: i guess it's all a delicate balance of lying enough that others like you and not lying so much you feel like a complete fraud and want to top yourself.

where you're making a big mistake is that you've made a judgement about people based on their behaviour as teens. teenagers are f****d up, period. I doubt there's 1 person here who haven't been bullied or who haven't absolutely hated high school.

thing is, most people grow out of that. teenagers aren't fully developed humans yet (brain development goes on till you're in your twenties, so essentially, teenagers are like mentally disabled adults, to a degree ;P) so making a judgement about the whole humanity based on your high-school experience is bound to be inaccurate.

you're still a very, very young man. your "experience" is not statistically significant



this should be enough for you. women don't owe you dates. you said yourself that you don't initiate conversations with women, so don't expect that they'll just throw themselves at you because you're "a man with a sexuality".

where do you all get this attitude from anyway? privileged much? spoiled by abundance? rich parents? I seriously don't get it all good things in life require hard work and won't be handed to you on a golden plate.

MR20, I thought you were 50.

I am a man with a high sexuality too, I have a chronic AXE effect.

I can't talk to girls because they're always unconscious.

I used to make that mistake too - try putting fewer roofies in their drinks...