How Aspie is *too* Aspie?

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Move on from a past that the other person isnt a part of,previous partners...
I once heard the advice that you should be carefull when dating a widow/er because some of them tend to make comparisons between the actual partner and the deceased one and not everyone can live up to their expectations.

As for who says it I first heard it from a psychologist on one of those makeover shows, not the most reliable source I know but in my opinion it seems to hold some truth and thats why I mentioned it as a possible bad side of dressing in a old fashioned manner.

If it was someone your age buying vintage clothes there's nothing wrong with that but if you were wearing the exact same clothing items in 20 years some people would wonder whats wrong(Im not saying that anything has to be wrong but some love to speculate about anything that strikes them as odd.)

Describing someone who doesn't agree with your sense of style as "mindless" is about as elitist as you can get. Do you really want everyone in the world to be just like you?

Where did I say this exactly? Sorry if it came off that way, I didn't mean it. I was talking about people who mindlessly conform to what ever style is cool at the moment, which includes the 'artsy' style that is so cool at the moment. Oh look my hair is so messy!, aren't I cool and edgy, I obviously don't care about it even though I probably spent an hour or so in front of the mirror to get it to look like this. Ugh give me a break..

A friend of mine has that issue, I have had it too. That friend of mine has very jerky mechanical movements, physical compulsions, etc girls immediately realize "somethings wrong" and don't want to date someone who has a blatant disability. They put him the same category as someone with Down's Syndrome walking up to them and trying to ask them out, several girls who were compelled to give him a try literally went screaming the other way unfortunately before they even reached the date.

I too easily come off as the overly-sensitive male friend of questionable orientation that is willing to be a shoulder to cry on then they get creeped out when my conversation turns to hitting on them because suddenly the "gay older brother" is asking them out.

Have you guys tried any kind of mindful movement based exercise, a martial art or something? Tai Chi really helped me use my body more effectively and fluidly. Aikido seems to be helping some too. Yoga?

For me, a person's past and current status of his/her social life is the best indicator of how 'aspie' the person is.

I'd bet my money on the lack of "proper" physical/facial response and/or feedback to be the main problem (Grisha looks perfectly regular to me on the photos, but pics don't tell the whole truth so no judgement)

this is a very narrow and subjective opinion though. it fails by numbers alone. also "current" fluctuates so it can't be a reliable indicator of someone's personality.

• Social problems
o Children with Asperger disorder may have difficulties with peer relations and may be rejected by other children.
o Outside the realm of immediate family members, the affected child may exhibit inappropriate attempts to initiate social interaction and to make friends. Within the immediate family, the child is often loving and affectionate.
o Alternatively, an affected child may not display affection to parents or other family members. A lack of bonding and warmth with parents and other guardians may seem apparent, typically resulting from the child's lack of social skills.
o Separations from parents because of work and divorce may be particularly stressful for these children. Changing homes, communities, and neighborhoods may also exacerbate symptoms.
o Individuals with Asperger disorder may have particular difficulty in dating and marriage. Boys and men with Asperger disorder may decide to marry suddenly without the dating and courtship that typically precede a union. Individuals with Asperger disorder may want to marry despite the lack of awareness of the many social interactions that usually lead up to matrimony. For example, in the movie Roger Dodger, an inexperienced youth with traits suggesting Asperger disorder encounters difficulty in relations with women (Chaisson and Kidd, 2002). Such problems may continue into adulthood.

Case vignette: A 50-year-old surgeon, who is an accomplished amateur musician with a PhD in mathematics and who has traits consistent with Asperger disorder, decides that it is time to marry and have children. He has always lived at home with his parents. Because he has trouble establishing relationships with women in his ethnic group locally, he goes overseas to marry a cousin less than half his age. He leaves his parents home for the first time to rent an apartment with his wife. They have no sexual relationship. She finds no career for herself in her new country, so she requests a divorce. Immediately after the divorce the patient wants to marry another woman. He complains that he is unable to find a suitable woman in his ethnic group.


o People with Asperger disorder may benefit from counseling and social skills training. Attwood (1998) provides exercises for parents to use to foster social skills in their children. These activities can be modified for the needs of adults with Asperger disorder. Psychotherapy is often helpful for individuals to recognize their deficits in social skills.
o People with Asperger disorder are vulnerable to depression, even suicide, after a perceived rejection in a social situation such as dating and marriage. Clinicians must be aware of the risk of depression and institute prompt interventions when major depression occurs.
o Socially inappropriate behavior and failure to understand social cues may be reported.
o The child may not understand why people become upset when he or she breaks social rules.

I completely agree with you.

Even on this thread, at least one person described my facial expression as "grumpy". Other photos have elicited adjectives such as "sad", "angry", and "bewildered".

Needless to say, none of these descriptions accurately gauged my mood at the time - spending the day at Disneyland with my children (where that photo was taken) hardly makes me "grumpy"!

WTF can you do about it though?

EDIT: Maybe we can get t-shirts made?

EDIT: Maybe we can get t-shirts made?

Where did you get those photos of me?

That was a joke of course....as you can clearly see from my avatar I'm a stick figure, not a floating head.

Those are photos of me, I am the head here.

Oh wait...now I have an army of heads!

Maybe, that's why I said "to me", but according to what I read, professionals often take history into accounting for diagnosing AS in someone. And no, current doesn't always fluctuates, I am talking about about lifetime patterns.




What I am saying, that if a Person X's history show that he/she always had friends since childhood, rarely got bullied, started dating during his teens, got gfs/bfs in his teens or early adulthood, rarely got depression, never used antidepressants, always had active social life (outings/birthdays/parties/clubbing...), had successful jobs/careers, got married once or few times, became a parent....

So this person X is either an aspie with super duper willingness to beat all the odds (since he was a teen!!) or he/she not aspie at all.

ok well then you've worded it wrong if persons *current* state of social life was any indicator, then it'd be like claiming that you can cure AS simply by changing that

also, my cousin works in a daycare place for people with autism/severe AS and some of them actually have great social lives and romantic, between themselves of course, but still. in your opinion then would they be NTs

Here's what I consider too Aspie for me: Not being able to demonstrate any kind of sexual interest in me at all.