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WTF is wrong with me?

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mv
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29 Sep 2011, 6:12 pm

Grisha wrote:
That's the problem - many women seem to be so blinded by their own preconceived ideas about men based on their outward attitude and appearance. Then they complain when the actual guy turns out to be different than what they thought.

It works both ways: maybe that dork who doesn't "do" it for you would really surprise you if you gave him half a chance, but you'll never know because you already decided you knew
for sure what he was like...


Grisha, I think this is right. And I think it applies to all people assessing the opposite sex (hetero types, anyway), not just women (as they think of men). My favorite visual metaphor (for myself) is watching two people turn a jumprope for me and I always, always, always seem to mistime my jump in. I get fouled in the ropes, fall down, and then I don't wanna jumprope for a while.



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29 Sep 2011, 6:29 pm

smudge wrote:
My plan is to get myself an income of £40-50,000. Since love hasn't worked out for me (so far), and friendships don't last (though they are fun), I've decided to better myself to give myself some self-value. Was that the reason you chose to do what you do? Or did it just come about?


Actually, I just sort of fell into it. I started out with nothing but was usually able to exploit whatever I found myself doing into something better - don't forget that I'm pretty old and this didn't happen overnight.

I also have two children to support: two apartments to rent (mine and their's), two sets of utility bills, car payment, insurance, day care, etc etc etc so failure is NOT an option. Remember there is no social safety net in the USA - if I fail them, then they are out on the street. It's a very powerful motivator...



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29 Sep 2011, 6:31 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Now, let's end this thread with a real, and harsh answer of total truth.


Quote:
WTF is wrong with me?


The Answer: You're Grisha.

/thread.


That's the answer that fits the facts better than any other... :(



MountZion
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29 Sep 2011, 6:49 pm

smudge wrote:
Grisha wrote:
That's the problem - many women seem to be so blinded by their own preconceived ideas about men based on their outward attitude and appearance. Then they complain when the actual guy turns out to be different than what they thought.

It works both ways: maybe that dork who doesn't "do" it for you would really surprise you if you gave him half a chance, but you'll never know because you already decided you knew
for sure what he was like...


Funnily enough, a lot of 'sensitive', dorky guys I *love*. But, I scare them off, because they're too sensitive, and moan/hint to me that they want a girlfriend, and I approach them, and they back off. Really. It's not like I'm in their face - they're just bloody sensitive and indecisive when it comes to relationships. And, they tend to be very judgemental and look down on those "less intelligent" than them. I've found this all too many times. I'd say I was above average in intelligence, but that's not the point. My point is most dorks I've met aren't very nice people, and they dislike people themselves.

My plan is to get myself an income of £40-50,000. Since love hasn't worked out for me (so far), and friendships don't last (though they are fun), I've decided to better myself to give myself some self-value. Was that the reason you chose to do what you do? Or did it just come about?


Love the bolded, everyone should be doing this IMO.

You are right about the sensitive guys. They do take it too far sometimes with the sensitivity. I feel that it is a strength as well as a weakness for them. They need some balance, to embrace more of an assertive nature. And they also need to step out of their own head, as they allow themselves to be controlled by their own mind. I could have possibly ended up like this, it is one of the very few reasons I am glad I attended Boys School. It made me stronger and also strengthened my already adept analytical skills, allowing me to be objective in how I view things and have greater control over my emotional states, and just to accept them for what they are, and just observe them. And laugh at them.

(yes, I have been reading Tolle's Power Of Now :lol:)

Smudge, I think you have just described the majority of girl's experiences with "nice guys" (sorry, I couldn't resist it, I love poking fun at the nice guy phenomenon as it is)


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29 Sep 2011, 6:58 pm

I have too much toothache to worry about what a guy earns. All I want to do is to earn money in order to pay these dental bills. And I want a laptop/tablet. And a new phone.


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Surfman
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29 Sep 2011, 8:04 pm

But Grish, your perfect

Image



Grisha
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29 Sep 2011, 8:44 pm

Surfman wrote:
But Grish, your perfect

Image


Lady in the Radiator! :heart:



smudge
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30 Sep 2011, 6:39 am

Grisha wrote:
smudge wrote:
My plan is to get myself an income of £40-50,000. Since love hasn't worked out for me (so far), and friendships don't last (though they are fun), I've decided to better myself to give myself some self-value. Was that the reason you chose to do what you do? Or did it just come about?


Actually, I just sort of fell into it. I started out with nothing but was usually able to exploit whatever I found myself doing into something better - don't forget that I'm pretty old and this didn't happen overnight.

I also have two children to support: two apartments to rent (mine and their's), two sets of utility bills, car payment, insurance, day care, etc etc etc so failure is NOT an option. Remember there is no social safety net in the USA - if I fail them, then they are out on the street. It's a very powerful motivator...


Yes, I can see that would be a very powerful motivator. I'm very lucky to live in the UK, it annoys me when people here (in the UK) moan about it.



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30 Sep 2011, 8:05 am

Yeah, your a dork. So just go after a female dork and problem solved.



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30 Sep 2011, 8:37 am

curlyfry wrote:
Yeah, your a dork. So just go after a female dork and problem solved.


Thanks.



The_Face_of_Boo
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30 Sep 2011, 9:14 am

curlyfry wrote:
Yeah, your a dork. So just go after a female dork and problem solved.


Life would be easier for dorks/geeks/nerds if it's the case.


The mentioned above, usually, do not go for their own types.

For instance, female geeks usually prefer social guys.

Social girls also prefer social guys.

Male geeks/dorks aren't globally desired, even by their female counterparts. Period.



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30 Sep 2011, 9:17 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
curlyfry wrote:
Yeah, your a dork. So just go after a female dork and problem solved.


Life would be easier for dorks/geeks/nerds if it's the case.


The mentioned above, usually, do not go for their own types.

For instance, female geeks usually prefer social guys.

Social girls also prefer social guys.

Male geeks/dorks aren't globally desired, even by their female counterparts. Period.


^this x1,000 - despite all the rhetoric to the contrary - I believe women sincerely wish it was true, but it is categorically and empirically not.



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30 Sep 2011, 10:56 am

Grisha wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
curlyfry wrote:
Yeah, your a dork. So just go after a female dork and problem solved.


Life would be easier for dorks/geeks/nerds if it's the case.


The mentioned above, usually, do not go for their own types.

For instance, female geeks usually prefer social guys.

Social girls also prefer social guys.

Male geeks/dorks aren't globally desired, even by their female counterparts. Period.


^this x1,000 - despite all the rhetoric to the contrary - I believe women sincerely wish it was true, but it is categorically and empirically not.


That's not been my experience. From what I've observed, the male dork/nerd/geek simply doesn't make enough of the required moves on the female dork/nerd/geek.


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mv
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30 Sep 2011, 11:06 am

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:
Grisha wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
curlyfry wrote:
Yeah, your a dork. So just go after a female dork and problem solved.


Life would be easier for dorks/geeks/nerds if it's the case.


The mentioned above, usually, do not go for their own types.

For instance, female geeks usually prefer social guys.

Social girls also prefer social guys.

Male geeks/dorks aren't globally desired, even by their female counterparts. Period.


^this x1,000 - despite all the rhetoric to the contrary - I believe women sincerely wish it was true, but it is categorically and empirically not.


That's not been my experience. From what I've observed, the male dork/nerd/geek simply doesn't make enough of the required moves on the female dork/nerd/geek.


Yes, I agree with TeaEarlGreyHot. Especially in a world where social navigation is the hardest thing to do, it's frustrating to not know for sure when a guy likes you. And you can't always make a move yourself because even if he does like you, he may not welcome advances (for myriad reasons).



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30 Sep 2011, 11:23 am

My experience and observation are completely than yours, ladies.
According to what I saw, female dorks/geeks/nerds(DGN) explicity admit and say that they want social guys, they also often avoid/reject them if these guys ever try to make a move.

Also, the DGN guys and girls aren't that compatible as what most believe, their interests differ greatly. While the DGN guys are usually into the scientific and sci-fi stuff, DGN girls are usually into literature/poetry/fantasy stuff, which make them(the girls) even more prone to Prince charming complex, than regular girls and Prince Charming is never geek or socially inept.

DGN girls with typically-male interests are very rare.

The best chance for the DGN guys is to go for the ... umm.. well... the less intelligent girls, usually those are more easily impressed by them.



Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 30 Sep 2011, 11:31 am, edited 2 times in total.

Grisha
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30 Sep 2011, 11:27 am

mv wrote:
TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:
Grisha wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
curlyfry wrote:
Yeah, your a dork. So just go after a female dork and problem solved.


Life would be easier for dorks/geeks/nerds if it's the case.


The mentioned above, usually, do not go for their own types.

For instance, female geeks usually prefer social guys.

Social girls also prefer social guys.

Male geeks/dorks aren't globally desired, even by their female counterparts. Period.


^this x1,000 - despite all the rhetoric to the contrary - I believe women sincerely wish it was true, but it is categorically and empirically not.


That's not been my experience. From what I've observed, the male dork/nerd/geek simply doesn't make enough of the required moves on the female dork/nerd/geek.


Yes, I agree with TeaEarlGreyHot. Especially in a world where social navigation is the hardest thing to do, it's frustrating to not know for sure when a guy likes you. And you can't always make a move yourself because even if he does like you, he may not welcome advances (for myriad reasons).


I can't argue with you because you're speaking from direct experience, but all I look for is the tiniest hint of a "green light" and things will proceed just as if I had made the first move. This could be as simple as removing a piece of lint from my shirt, or touching my hand just a little too long.

Usually I just end up going in "cold" to try and get the lay of the land (no pun intended) and getting my metaphorical face slapped, so you can imagine why I would be a little reluctant in the absence of a little bit of encouragement...