Red Flags on a man

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Joined: 23 Sep 2007
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04 Oct 2011, 10:02 am

Red flags on a man? If you want to know if X is a red flag, just ask me if I do X. The answer will let you know if it's a red flag or not...

hale_bopp
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04 Oct 2011, 10:26 am

http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/ ... list.shtml

This applies to both men and women, apparently. I'm looking at it now.

Sweetleaf
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04 Oct 2011, 11:59 am

spongy wrote:

hEllo_Moto wrote:

Fnord wrote:

24. His pupils are unusually dilated or constricted.

Why either way? I thought dilated pupils were a good sign that someone was attracted to you.

They can also be a sign of smoking illegal substances which is seen as a red flag by some people and is probably why Fnord posted it.

Red eyes can also be a sign of smoking illegal substances...but that is obviously only a red flag to people who have an issue with that sort of thing.

LiendaBalla
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04 Oct 2011, 1:03 pm

hale_bopp wrote:

http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/manipulator/redflaglist.shtml

This applies to both men and women, apparently. I'm looking at it now.

#46 I very much noticed.

Quote:

His life is ambiguous. You never really feel like you "know" him. You may meet his family once, and friends occasionally, but you always feel like he's hiding something. He never really explains any of his past in detail. And, if he does, it's only when he's explaining his way out of something. I.E. "I'm the victim, and here's why."

anna-banana
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04 Oct 2011, 1:12 pm

*edit oh whatever

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Wayne
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04 Oct 2011, 3:59 pm

hale_bopp wrote:

http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/manipulator/redflaglist.shtml

This applies to both men and women, apparently. I'm looking at it now.

It looks like a mishmash of:

1. Ways that people act like selfish pricks that their partners really shouldn't hold still for, but sometimes do anyway
2. Signs that someone is on the spectrum
3. Signs that someone is controlling in a dangerous way
4. Signs of depression or other issues that he/she really needs to address.
5. Random crap that I just don't get (wardrobe? Furnishings?)

Sweetleaf
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04 Oct 2011, 4:25 pm

Wayne wrote:

hale_bopp wrote:

http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/manipulator/redflaglist.shtml

This applies to both men and women, apparently. I'm looking at it now.

I can understand why people have an issue with 1, 3 and 4......though with four the only reason I would agree with that is if someone has enough to deal with on their own and can't handle being with someone who has problems like depression because it would be too much stress. But I do not think being depressed or having other mental problems means someone should be barred from having a relationship. Personally I am more comfortable with guys who have issues like Depression because then they can understand how I feel and I can understand how they feel.

Not sure about 2 and 5 though, most people on this site are on the spectrum so i find it odd that would be a major turn off....but to each their own. And there are so many different styles of clothing I can understand having a prefered style you find attractive....but trying to read it like 'oh if they dress like that they must be like this'. seems a bit ridiculous.

sunshower
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04 Oct 2011, 4:45 pm

hale_bopp wrote:

sunshower wrote:

Hmm... for me I think:

- a lack of motivation, laziness, and complete disinterest in self improvement/learning.

This can be caused by extreme depression. I think I know what you're trying to say though, non depressed people who don't care or want to blame others.

.

Hmm yes you have a point. I was referring to non-depressed people, but I guess depressed people could come across that way. I was actually mostly thinking of people who have those characteristics, and are proud of them, and just don't care or think life should give them everything they want on a silver platter. People with entitlement complexes too.

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astaut
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05 Oct 2011, 12:45 am

These are just some of my own red flags:

1. if a guy is really disrespectful to his mom
2. if he talks badly about his exes (calling them b*****s or whores, things like that)
3. if he pushes to get physical very early on

Those are all that come to mind at the moment.

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Jeffrey228
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05 Oct 2011, 2:17 am

Sweetleaf wrote:

spongy wrote:

hEllo_Moto wrote:

Fnord wrote:

24. His pupils are unusually dilated or constricted.

Why either way? I thought dilated pupils were a good sign that someone was attracted to you.

They can also be a sign of smoking illegal substances which is seen as a red flag by some people and is probably why Fnord posted it.

Red eyes can also be a sign of smoking illegal substances...but that is obviously only a red flag to people who have an issue with that sort of thing.

In this reality, seems to not really matter anymore, seeing how bad things have gotten since the start of 2000, and well I know I am labeled myself as being a nono to having a relationship because I am not treated for my condition, and probably never will unless I loose about 20 to 35 years off my life expectedcy.

TeaEarlGreyHot
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05 Oct 2011, 8:34 pm

Major red flag...

Calls the mother of his children an abusive parent but has no problem leaving the children with her.

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Wayne
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05 Oct 2011, 9:38 pm

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:

Major red flag...

Calls the mother of his children an abusive parent but has no choice leaving the children with her.

Fixed that for you.

hyperlexian
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05 Oct 2011, 10:00 pm

Wayne wrote:

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:

Major red flag...

Calls the mother of his children an abusive parent but has no choice leaving the children with her.

Fixed that for you.

there's always a choice. social services/child welfare can get involved as necessary. a man can be a single parent just like a woman, if the other parent is abusive.

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Fnord
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05 Oct 2011, 10:19 pm

hyperlexian wrote:

Wayne wrote:

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:

Major red flag... Calls the mother of his children an abusive parent but has no choice leaving the children with her.

Fixed that for you.

there's always a choice. social services/child welfare can get involved as necessary. a man can be a single parent just like a woman, if the other parent is abusive.

Try proving that she's emotionally and verbally abusive when the children are afraid to say anything against her, and Social Service people tell you that you're just being mean, spiteful, and vindictive.

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hyperlexian
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05 Oct 2011, 10:21 pm

Fnord wrote:

hyperlexian wrote:

Wayne wrote:

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:

Major red flag... Calls the mother of his children an abusive parent but has no choice leaving the children with her.

Fixed that for you.

there's always a choice. social services/child welfare can get involved as necessary. a man can be a single parent just like a woman, if the other parent is abusive.

uhhhh ok. that happens when men are reported too, so... not sure of your point.

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TeaEarlGreyHot
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05 Oct 2011, 10:51 pm

Wayne wrote:

Fixed that for you.

Excuse me, but I had it right. I'm not talking about the fathers that have no choice. I'm talking about men that emotionally abuse women and make them feel like incompetent fools. The kind of man that will leave his kids with someone he tries to break just so he can go f**k someone else.

Don't make the mistake of automatically believing someone is telling the truth when they say the co-parent to their children is abusive towards them.

PS I take great exception to having my words changed on me when I've made a serious post. If you wish to not butt heads with me, don't do it again. Thanks.

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