How late is 'too late' to get started with a relationship?

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Depends on the type of relationship I think, there seems to be a cut-off point in which a person is too old to date casually anymore

http://www.deseretnews.com/article/1760 ... tml?pg=all
These women are talking about men - and sadly, there are a lot of them - who can barely afford to take care of themselves and yet wonder why women won't consider them for a serious relationship.

Rich isn't the issue here. But yes, money is. And frankly men, they don't consider such concern to be crass. They consider it to be pragmatic.

Demographically, as you get older, there are more available women. So, your chances improve, unless you are set on marrying a particular age group.

But, the real issue for Aspies is that as you get older, there is an expectation that you will have your stuff together--the job and the ability to live without the assistance of your parents. Most women aren't looking for a spouse to take care of. Young NTs can get married based on "potential," just like baseball prospects now get paid big bucks without playing a single major League game, but Aspies just aren't ready to get married that early. Pretty much by definition--if you had that level of social skills you can't be an Aspie.

There are two exceptions to what I wrote. You can be married at any age via an arranged marriage--no social skills required. Aspie women can also get married early, since they don't need as much in the way of social skills since they aren't expected to initiate relationships like the guys.

One of my brother's old coworkers was a textbook Aspie and got married young. Two kids later and it ended in a VERY nasty divorce. Ditto with one of my old coworkers: they ended up divorced and she was absolutely miserable for years.

I would say most Aspies aren't ready for marriage until the age of 30 based on my experiences.

which is why suicide is only option to some guys. probably why its higher for males than women. mean if a woman can't pay for herself she can just find a well off guy and this is acceptable heck even recommended. guys either have to make good money or die/live alone. but people don't want them to die, but also not to do anything with them. americans have an odd issue with death. what I or others do with our lives isn't their business.

article is odd. not rich just have to be stable and pay for themselves, then talked about guy living in tiny apartment as bad. but isn't he stable and paying for himself o.O

People are entitled to their opinion but I have always felt that an introverted, socially hawkweed, socially-inept woman has a much better chance of getting a boyfriend than the other way around

yeah. though not saying it means they will. just that they have better odds.
just like if you bought 1000 tickets you'd have better odds then someone who bought 1 at winning the lottery. however you still might and likely will not win.

think people take someone saying they have better odds if they are a girl as the same as saying they are guaranteed it.

though i think most of the the women here either had relationships or are currently in one. very few of them are in the never had a relationship and fewer still in the never been touched or kissed. i mean if they really wanted one theres probably like 50 guys per woman here who'd gladly take them up on a relationship. now include nts in the general public and that number would grow higher. mean there a lots of guys that would be with a woman any woman. however women are not lining up to be with any guy. they all want a specific guy. I'm not one of those guys but I've met and seen a lot of them.

doesn't mean women here don't have it hard. and reality it doesn't matter. because them having it less hard then me doesn't somehow make my life better. so, I don't see the point in arguing it.
but its likely that if I was a woman I'd had more relationship experience. though not to say it'd been good relationships.

Ya because women don't have to be the initiators

The really important question is--what kind of life do you want together?

If you do land that hot girl who shops at those expensive clothing and cosmetic stores, will you two have enough money to continue doing that? What if she wants her significant other to buy her jewelry all the time? And show off her stuff at family gatherings and evening events?

Or, do you intend to travel the world? I know someone on disability who insists on going on two overseas vacations each year with her husband! They have to cut corners elsewhere--as she has had zero luck staying employed.

Or raising kids--will want two cars to do so? Old cars are cheaper, but do you really want the hassle of fixing them? Who goes to the service shop all the time?

A steady job is a good sign for a relationship because it indicates adequate communication skills. If you constantly get canned from jobs, how are you going to handle a relationship?

I'm female, an Aspie and have ways earned a good living -- and many of my colleagues (quants) are male Aspies who also make really good money. Autism isn't an excuse to not be able to support yourself as a grownup.

I do not expect a guy to support me but will not date any man who isn't gainfully employed and self-supporting -- and, well, garbagemen who work for the city make, like, $20+/hr, self-supporting cannot possibly be all that hard to achieve. (I'm 27 and make more than many of the guys I've dated, post-college and it's no biggie).

The article you linked to is dead on regarding my (and many of my late-millennial-ish girlfriends) expectations regarding men and money and dating.

to bad there isn't enough garbage jobs for all the millions of unemployed people

any gov job is overpaying for its skill. gov likes to pay people lots of money. this is why any gov job compared to its private counterpart is payed more. you can be a city construction worker or a private construction worker, but city gets paid more nice benefits. these jobs are really competitive to get in to though because of the pay and easiness of the work.

garbage trucks use to be 4 people now its just one. in future it'll probably just be a robot. those jobs don't get empty often until guy/woman retires. so sick of hearing that comparison. cities only have like 50 garbage men who do different areas on different days.

unless that guy is a self observed naracsitic as*hole.

I've never been fired from a job. the one I have keeps bringing me back again and again. landing a job is so near impossible here unless you know the boss. which is how I got my current seasonal job. and how most everyone there got it too.

Alternatively, you can simply be very good at what you do. I had zero connections coming out of college/grad school but my (iffy) social/communication skills are offset by my mathematical modeling skills. Many of my quant colleagues are Aspies too.

Investment banking is remarkably autism-friendly... due to empirical performance measurement. (Ditto for academia and, oddly, exploration geology -- what my closest friends, also Aspies-or-pretty-close-to-it's, do).

You underestimate your skills. You understand what you boss wants. Not like that Adam fellow, who got canned for working on stuff that was for too expensive for the company to sell.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adam_%282009_film%29
mind-blindness cost him his job at a toy manufacturing company

Adam's a fictional character in a movie. And, to paraphrase Winston Churchill, doing your best is nowhere near enough if you can't be bothered to do what is actually required of you.

I don't think I'm underestimating my skills --
but I did chose a profession/position where what is expected of my is VERY clear.

The investment bank that employs me wants to make money, ergo my boss wants me to make money and provides me with quarterly monetary targets... period. However, I do not deal directly with clients. I do not assist in acquiring or wooing clients, ever.

Jobs at big investment banks require dealing directly with clients. I don't do clients. My skills are such that my employer was willing to hire me (and, to be fair, many of my colleagues) anyways, ie revise the responsibilities of the job to meet my needs versus simply hiring somebody else who would be willing to deal with clients.

In any given year, there are typically more males born than females.
By age 25, the males have typically killed themselves off by war, accidents, whatever to reverse the odds.
Females have a longer lifespan so the odds are increasing in your favor each year.
Stay positive. Pursue your passions. Stop worrying about experience - most partners very much enjoy "teaching" the novices. Honestly! They are typically disease free! They are very open to suggestions and very eager to please! What more could you ask in a physical relationship? When you get to that first physical encounter - be honest! Ask questions!! The most experienced and successful lovers know that communication is the most important ingredient to success and never assume to know how to please a new person. Don't make excuses for who you are. Focus instead on finding the person who's lock fits your key. You won't find that person if you don't keep looking.