My boyfriend's vanished and I'm freaking out please help!! !!

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I could not agree with you more. Sadly I dont know anyone in Portland really, I just moved here. I should start work soon and that should sop up some of my mental powers. Portland is spread around too, its tough to know the districts like you can in other major cities. Im signing up for pole dancing classes as soon as I figure out what my hours will be and traffic etc.....its literally days away (waiting for background check to clear before I start the new job). Its just bad timing all around.

I feel like Sybil. One minute Im crying the next Im screaming 4 letter words in my head then Im just over it.

I need a lobotomy. Im making myself crazy. Why cant we just numb that one part out so we can function without the pain?

I found two replies to my onslaught of email. I missed them because of the account they came into. They are nothing replies - one corrects me that it wasnt him mom that came by with him to drop my stuff off, it was his STEPFATHER (all caps) like that makes a difference, the other after many notes begging him to talk to me and tell me what was going on) saying that I once said for him to never speak to me again so he;s doing his best to respect my wishes.

My wishes.

I give up.

That last part might be a clue. Sounds like he took you literal. It may be a huge misunderstanding. I think it would be helpful if you sent one more email, without anger and told him how it really is. That you love him, that you didn't mean for him to not speak to you, that you said those words in anger, and you want to work things out, that he matters to you. Worth a shot. Leave out accusations and names (sounds like he doesn't want mom blamed) and focus on the two of you.

We tend to forget that our Aspie guys are wired different and we don't think of them that way but when have problems with them, the differences become more apparent. Factor in when they are younger then us and you add another layer of difference. So yes, he probably thought it was your wish when you really just made an angry statement.

NO NO NO NO NO
You both have lots of very hurt feelings & are both extremely upset with each other so it could likely lead to a major argument. I think you could be on the verge of having a breakdown OP & continuing to dwell on this instead of moving on will make it more likely

I didn't do anything to him, what does he have to be upset with me about?? He knows how I feel he got the deluge of email. There is no way anyone can love someone and treat them this badly.

All he ever had to do was talk to me. He used to like that about me - it was one of my "selling points." Not like anything I remember is even valid, he cut me out of so much of it.

Perceptive, Nick007. I;ve BEEN having a breakdown. Or about to. The last 3 years of my life have been incredibly hard, it culminated in this cross-country move that everything went to hell on and some issues relating to that. He knew that and he still kicked the sh*t out of me. Im writing it off to terrible taste in men. You have to be some kind of heartless to knowingly hurt someone this badly.