How many of you are on OKcupid?

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Wow... I checked my OKCupid account for the first time in a couple of months last night and now I've got a message asking if I'd like to moderate.

you'll get that by default about 6 months to a year after you sign up.
I did that for some time, if its the same thing basically you vote on what to do with flagged messages, profiles, etc.

I have deleted my account. I officialy gave up on trying to find a girlfriend, for a variety of reasons. I am simply not fit for relationships: it would be frustrating for me and even worse for the woman involved.

I'm on it (wolfpup76 if anyone cares). I'd say I've had better luck with it than ANYTHING else in my life. I think the questions do really matter, IF someone else has filled them out well enough. I do click with people much better with higher matches, so I think there's something to that.

BUT I'm not sure I can ever work in a relationship. Most recently...well, I posted a thread about that. I'm just not sure it's ever going to work for me. Frankly I'd really LIKE to try someone who both matched me, AND was a little on the spectrum...see if THAT made it so it would work. Because I'm not sure I do with "normal" girls.

i had more than one profile for more than one kind of connection at different times in the past. for all of the profiles, bluntness and honesty worked for me. i tried to put forward my personality in my writing style and my content and i offered up all of my quirkier and more interesting aspects. i am not "normal" or "average" in any way, so it made sense my profile should reflect that.

i thought hard about some things that made me different from other women, and i studied their profiles to get a sense of how NOT to come across. basically i figured out how to best promote my real self in a way that made me look as unique as possible.

it's hard to explain what i did really, but here are some examples of ones i used, far as i can remember:

...other profiles mention liking italian or japanese food etc, so i took it further. i expressed that people tell me i have adventurous tastebuds YET i hate veggies and don't eat chicken (it was a teaser so they'd ask why). also that i eat flowers and collect antique cookbooks (i.e. "Dishes Men Like" LOL)

...people always say they "love kids"... so i was brutally honest: i don't want to hear about anyone's kids unless we are in a serious relationship, and i promise not to talk about mine either

...women say they love, "family, friends and having a good time"... so i said i have hobbies i enjoy - and i don't expect anyone to do them with me.

...women rarely mention sex really, unless they are looking for hookups... so i bluntly said that i think about sex about as much as an 18-year old boy, but i expect to get to know a man online for months before i'd even meet for coffee.

...people try to appear as normal as possible... so i listed a few symptoms of AS and said that i have a certain disorder. if men could name it in a message then they would get extra brownie points


in general, i also made sure my vocabulary reflected my level of intelligence. i read my profile out loud to make sure it flowed. i chose a masculine user name (the name of a shop tool that i happen to be able to use) to catch the attention of guys. i really tried to promote myself in terms of advertising - i included quirky facts that stood out, and left some teasers for people to ask questions. people like a puzzle but not a boring blank slate.

i made sure the first line of my profile was like a catchy phrase, something like:

i like my beer bitter and my coffee black


usually, i messaged the men i was interested in, or winked or visited their profiles a couple times to signal interest. i did get messages from men but i prefer to be the aggressor.

that's all i can think of off the top of my head.