Living as an adult male virgin, unable to cope

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Chronos, I know the type you're talking about, I have several friends who are like that. There called the smug as*hole type.

Hi Heisenberg,

I am the same age as you (male and turning 25 this year too).

I know exactly how you feel - and wanted to let you know that you are not alone.

Nice to meet you

Thanks for being open about your situation skribble, it's always nice to know that we're not alone when it comes to struggling with issues.

I know there are a lot of people on this site from other countries and I have a question for those who do not live in the U.S. : Are there any cultures in the world where male virginity is not seen as a negative? Excluding religous subcultures.

Heisenberg; on the bright side - if you get that awesome international job, do some globe trotting. Get a good camera, take a lot of neat pictures and upload them to photobucket and facebook. You'll essentially have some 'flare' for networking right off the top and lots of interesting things and places to tell people about. IMHO networking is the next best thing to land relationships because widening the net is directly antecedent to better odds. Even as aspies we can make up for lack of perfect BSing skills by doing enough things that other people would find interesting that the subject matter can just flow.

I have a friend who is happily married. He did not lose his virginity or even have a girlfriend until he was 28. He is not a mack. He was terrible at approaching women. Yet it happened.
There is hope for you, my friend.

I know of another man who did not have a committed relationship until he was in his 30's. Just because it hasn't happened yet does not mean that it will not happen.

Nah, your problem isn't that you haven't had sex.

Its that you linked sex with women to your self-worth. Which isn't true, but you believe this on a very basic level.

I am 24, and a virgin, and I never kissed a girl. But I'm not afraid to admit that and deal with my problems for what they are, confidence and identity issues. You're already making it far more difficult than it has to be because you've made it so important to yourself.

Do you honestly think that anyone really cares? They don't have to walk in your shows. People hear about people dying everyday, they aren't going to care if you are a virgin. Everyone's on different levels, your expectation that you 'should' be something else and defining yourself by conquering a female is useless.

Discover true strength. I did, and I work hard everyday to improve myself and enjoy my life.

Don't let the perfect become the enemy of the good.

I don't know about others, but sex isn't anything special, and it's a very silly thing to use as a defining point (however, defining points that are obsessed over are usually just a fixture of a greater problem, like anxiety and/or depression; it'll change to something else once "that" is out of the way).

As a female of approx. the same age and in the same situation I have to say that all days are different sometimes you think there is a possibility to live normal as long as you observe enough interactions and try to mimic them to the best of your ability. Maybe it is slightly different for girls cause most guys don't have a problem putting out and I just haven't been physically or socially comfortable enough to go through with it. Don't push yourself past the point you are ready for because honestly you look back on it and go why the fxxx did I do that.

I think the best way to do it is try to get in new situations or just meet new people with friends you are comfortable with. I have been hit on multiple times and the only way I picked up on it was because it was so blatantly obvious that it embarrassed me. I even had the guy who happened to be my first kiss tell me I needed to smile more because then people would release that I would want to interact with them and be more attractive.
Don't ask me I was kind of blank about it. If your friends consistently talk about it make a smart ass remark that lets them know they are being an ass and change the subject to sports or something. Often times if you make people think they are being to imposing and are acting like jerks, not funny jerks but rude jerks, then they often back of a little. But then again I have only really done this with family because I have difficulties getting and keeping friends. mostly because they put up with my weirdness for a while and I find out most of them have just been using me for a ride, money, my help with school work stuff, to watch their kids because lucky me, if I care about you I end up bending over backwards to help when ever I can and don't always get the same respect in return. well never