Who made it to 40 and remained a Virgin?

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Hanibal94
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25 Apr 2012, 4:21 am

I thought I was pathetic for not having gotten any by 17.
My social skills have gotten much better through high school, however, so I'm still hopeful.
I just wish popular culture wasn't so obsessed with casual sex.

Maerlyn138
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25 Apr 2012, 8:49 am

I have been a virgin now for 5 years...since divorce #2. I managed to do it at 18...although looking back I have no idea how.

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PastFixations
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25 Apr 2012, 12:23 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

PastFixations wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Are you a virgin?

Technically yes, but I did fondle so I'm not a total virgin.

Stayed quiet since I said that, Boo.

Because I am not sure what did you mean by 'fondle', and how far and how frequent you got in that.

It happened around two years ago and it's basically groping.

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UnLoser
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25 Apr 2012, 7:04 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

I wouldn't call it 'disgusting' but a such late virginity is not a lifestyle by itself but it's most probably a one consequence (ie same as not having many friends, outings...etc) of a prolonged unhealthy and unbalanced social-wise lifestyle.

Your usage of the words "unhealthy lifestyle" suggests that such people are at fault for their own condition. "Lifestyle" implies a choice. Some autistics don't have much of a choice. Some even prefer being isolated, so it's hard to call that an unhealthy lifestyle.

Why am I even arguing about this? Well, let's just say I identify with the 40-year-old virgins out there(I'm 15 right now).

beezy
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26 Apr 2012, 9:07 am

I lost mine at 20, but looking back it was a big fluke and I haven't done it since. Sometimes, although I would'nt do it, I think about 'paying for it'. I wonder how many of you guys who have gone into your 30s as virgins wish you'd gone with an escort in your late teens/early 20s. Or are still considering it.

Russell Brand lost his virginity to a prostitute when he was 16.

bruinsy33
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27 Apr 2012, 1:01 am

UnLoser wrote:

Tequila wrote:

Often, the most bigoted people are the ones that loudly accuse other people of bigotry at every turn.

I don't accuse people of bigotry at every turn. But he's calling people disgusting for lifestyles they probably have little to no control over. 40-year-old virgins are probably the way they are because of their limited social skills, which most of us Aspies can relate to. I found what he said to be very insensitive. I don't honestly think he's disgusting, I'm just throwing his own words back at him to make a point.

Limited social and emotional skills are likely a couple of reasons why many Aspies don't date or are older virgins.Obviously a degree of socialization is required with a member of the opposite sex to develop some sort of chemistry that would lead to sex. However, in order to take things to that intimate level requires ''taking the plunge'' and asking someone out.Many Aspies find this difficult and it is understandable since anyone who has AS has already experienced significant frustration in just about all aspects of relating to other people.

Sirius
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29 Apr 2012, 1:56 pm

HisDivineMajesty wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

So you're voluntarily saving it, so you won't feel a sense of failing.

Here's, apparently, the essence of this matter. If it's voluntary, it's not that much of a problem, especially if you're looking for people who agree with those intentions.
If it's involuntary, though, it's a stigma in society, possibly made worse by a lot of fiction dedicated to the issue, as well as the 'funny' value.

UnLoser wrote:

Being judgmental and bigoted is a disgusting lifestyle.

I can appreciate the irony in this.

Exactly, I am a guy who doesn't know how to be a guy and that is where the problem starts. Thank Autism.

Tom5
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29 Apr 2012, 2:21 pm

Why is that your business who is a virgin or who is not? I mean why is it even important?

blunnet
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01 May 2012, 12:19 pm

Tom5 wrote:

Why is that your business who is a virgin or who is not? I mean why is it even important?

Because virgins are pure, and non-virgins are not.

TheHouseholdCat
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01 May 2012, 6:04 pm

Kinme wrote:

I don't get why anyone would be ashamed of it... -.-

I don't get why anyone should be proud of it. (Well, I understand why people think it is something to be proud of, but I can say I've never been proud. I just feel humiliated.)

Gnonymouse wrote:

Has anyone here told others they were a virgin? There is definitely a stigma, at least for men.

I always felt there's a stigma for women, too.

I'm sick of all this judging just based on whether you did or did not lose your virginity. What's the big deal? It does not make you a bad or a good person just because you already had sex.

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

AussieMatty wrote:

Geeze I would not like to read this thread. I would not wanted to be 40 year old virgin. Thats so disgusting lifestyle. Thank you very much to give me a nightmare...

I can't say I agree with that. Some people just don't care about losing their virginity just because that's what they're supposed to do.

I used to have real issues with that as a teenager. Because you have to have relationships and sex. Because "that's what 'kids' do".

The average age of kids losing their virginity in Berlin is 13. I don't know what to say about that. It makes me feel quite uncomfortable.

Because of this big hassle about virginity, I always felt I never "made it". It's one of the reasons why I think I'm such a big failure.

I love how virgins are considered to be pure and naive. Really...

Hanibal94 wrote:

I used to count the years. I think I stopped around the time I turned 18. Because I realized it's no big deal. Age has never mattered to me, so why should I care about it.

Yeah, this obsession with casual sex is really disturbing. Because sex is just about... what? Selling your body to someone else?

I can't say I like that idea.

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HisDivineMajesty
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01 May 2012, 6:49 pm

TheHouseholdCat wrote:

I love how virgins are considered to be pure and naive. Really...

Female virgins, perhaps. Instead, we're laughed at. Luckily, most of my friends haven't ever had a relationship either, and a lot of them are older than me.
Somehow, I think - if it ever happens - the older I get, the worse it would be to explain that I've never had sex.

UnLoser
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01 May 2012, 8:10 pm

Gnonymouse wrote:

The average age of kids losing their virginity in Berlin is 13. I don't know what to say about that. It makes me feel quite uncomfortable.

Yes, that is slightly disturbing.

50 years from now, the average could be 8...

Edit: You know what? I take that back. It's not disturbing. It's natural. Teenagers are equipped with reproductive capabilities and a sex drive, and having sex at that age is perfectly natural. My reaction was an emotional one, not a logical one.

balletangel
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