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Wife has bad day, I don't know how to respond

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mds_02
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22 May 2012, 5:34 pm

hartzofspace wrote:
smudge wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
close to half of all people cheat eventually. i think if she planned to do it, she likely wouldn't be silly enough to threaten first. broadcasting an intention like that would be counterproductive


Exactly.

I agree!


First, there are people out there who use cheating, or the threat of it, as a weapon. People who cheat, not for their own gratification, but for the specific purpose of causing pain to their partner. Not everyone is secretive about it.

Second, whether she would actually cheat or not is secondary. That she would say that at all demonstrates an immense lack of respect for him. He wanted her to feel better, he just didn't know how to accomplish that. She, on the other hand, wanted him to feel worse.


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Alfonso12345
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22 May 2012, 6:00 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
close to half of all people cheat eventually. i think if she planned to do it, she likely wouldn't be silly enough to threaten first. broadcasting an intention like that would be counterproductive


Yeah but what if she was not planning to be productive? I am sure if anyone is angry enough at someone because they didn't do something the way they wanted, they could make any kind of a threat. Even one like that.



hartzofspace
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22 May 2012, 6:04 pm

I saw the wife's comment about people cheating, as a gesture born of frustration. I have read articles where people start out talking about their frustration to a sympathetic member of the opposite sex, and ending up cheating with them somewhere down the line. Maybe she was saying that she could see how that could happen. I don't think she was threatening to cheat on her husband.


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Alfonso12345
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22 May 2012, 9:38 pm

hartzofspace wrote:
I saw the wife's comment about people cheating, as a gesture born of frustration. I have read articles where people start out talking about their frustration to a sympathetic member of the opposite sex, and ending up cheating with them somewhere down the line. Maybe she was saying that she could see how that could happen. I don't think she was threatening to cheat on her husband.


But it certainly sounded like she was threatening to cheat to me.



CrinklyCrustacean
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23 May 2012, 6:03 am

hartzofspace wrote:
I saw the wife's comment about people cheating, as a gesture born of frustration. I have read articles where people start out talking about their frustration to a sympathetic member of the opposite sex, and ending up cheating with them somewhere down the line. Maybe she was saying that she could see how that could happen. I don't think she was threatening to cheat on her husband.

Agreed, that's how I read it too. It wasn't an implied ultimatum.



Morbius
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24 May 2012, 9:35 am

8O Holy crap, 4 pages of replies! I didn't expect so many responses!

I haven't had a chance to read through everything yet. I assure you, I will...

In the meantime, a couple of notes: I did see that a few people were speculating on whether or not my wife was "threatening" to cheat on me. She wasn't (she was just saying that she now felt sympathy for women who do), but she was still upset at the idea that I might have taken it that way. So she's being extra nice to me and not getting upset at my reaction to her stories about her boss. So, I don't know if anything I'm trying right now is "really" working or not. In a few days, things will go back to normal and then we'll find out...

Which is good, anyway, because that will give me some time to read through the huge number of responses I've gotten. Really, thank-you everybody. I didn't expect to have so many people helping me. The people on this forum are amazing. Thank-you.

:D