Approaching a girl - the female perspective

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*attempting to re-rail after inadvertently answering seriously to *pokieness*.

 You never really know.
(Not unless she's screaming, 'oh god! oh god!' then clutches you and starts sobbing, which is a bit of a clue that you *might* have done *something* right that evening.)

 How will you know when you've accomplished your goal of 'getting' the girl?
first date?
first kiss?
first petting?
first lay?
first cohabiting?
first pet?
marriage?
first child?
eighth child?
10th anniversary?
50th anniversary?
death?

My point: its the journey. enjoy her from the moment you see her, because that's when it all actually begins. If anyone thinks I'm wrong then tell me when it does start. =)

Play-touch: high five for any lame excuse. punch her arm, gently Conan! sorta- it can hurt a lil, ok.
 Here's the hint: if you get confused by her response,  then she might have become slightly uncomfortable, back down 1 casual level.  but for godsakes don't quit!
if she does like it she'll probably retry what she thinks got the last one from ya.

if it's clear she hates it, back down all levels.  think like a brother-that-doesn't-want-Santa-to-know-his-sister-annoys-him, until she's not uncomfortable, that'd be not fun for her.  Even if you do quit here, be gallant and make her feel non-threatened. If you cant figure out how, use the body language you'd use on a pet to make them feel non-threatened.

 Otherwise make up some barely* rational reasons to make physical contact.
Give her a few moments cool-down time, and escalate a little. this is a journey, take the scenic route.
 this is the fun - don't rush it, don't miss it
and don't be limp-wristed about it, nobody likes that inna handshake and probably nobody likes it in wooing.
*any of you that wanna get offended by this -shut up- the less rational the reason, the more obvious that SHE is the reason.

Talk* to her, compliment her about something relevant so she knows you're paying attn. And if paying attn isn't some kind of compliment, then what is?
*actually (uh oh imma ret*d) try to get her to talk. Make a list of things you can ask a person that's not too intrusive. Rethink any yes/no questions into why type, try to give 'essay questions' =)
(no! don't make the question an essay silly! try to get essays outta her!)
 Even if she nearly hates you she wont wanna embarrass herself.  So try not to ask anything that might make her look stoopid or makes her have to think too hard while she's nervous, nobody's good at that.

If she cant tell you what kind of ice cream she likes (and a few other similar questions) without her worrying it's the wrong answer - have a nice date and never ask her out again, you will want someone that's herself, with her own likes and opinions, not just a pre-approved version of 'you'.



There ARE no other portions of the date - just her -'something to look out for' would be paying attn to 'other portions of the date'.
Set up all the bits of the date first, then ignore them. You can walk to a table without thinking too hard. You can order something or other to eat without thinking too hard. You can even pay the check w/out thinking too hard. And for godsakes don't bother to calculate the tip! Move the decimal over one place, double that and plop down about that much, round up to bills. Do not tip from your card, bring some flipping cash.
 80/20 rule - nothing matters except her feeling special (not every minute of course, don't grovel) but don't let anything else seem to be more important than her.
Even (especially) your pet peeves.
 So, don't let anything pull more than 20% of your attn. You don't always have to give her 80% but don't let anything else get more than 20% - got it?
Even if the valet wrecks your car and kicks you in the crotch, ask her if she's all right.  And speak up a bit, it's hard to hear someone who's rolling around on the ground.