DataSage’s Alpha Male Guide to Meeting Women (JULY UPDATE!!)

Post Reply New Topic

ok hey get a room people!! ! show's over folks..!

it always warms my heart when aspies finally find true love.... sigh....

rofl

You jealous?

Deutha, sorry if I got you upset. Saying "you can lead a horse to water ..." was not meant as condescending, just that some people refuse good advice

tis all good Baz peace to u and urs...

Just wanted to say that DataSage's advice sounds like gold, not at all condescending (it applies to all men not just AS ones) and a lot better than the hackneyed dating advice we've heard before.

does this guy need to take his advice?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7CEqVTWo4EI

That guy is creating a fictional music video. I doubt he sings all the time in real life.

Plus, being famous makes you instant alpha

Making sure you and your teeth are clean before going on a date just makes good sense. Women often have a very sensitive sense of smell and can pick up on objectionable odours rather easily (unless they've got chronic sinus troubles, hayfever or are smokers).

Datasage's tips/advice doesn't only apply to meeting people for dating. Its also good advice for situations I find myself in now, like meeting groups of parents at school functions.

How is that being predatory?

Added a whole slew of material--will keep adding to it as time goes on! Enjoy guys. I'll still be taking questions here in the thread.

Just about all people find bad breath and body odour unappealing so I don't think caring about these things is seduction.

I like the new section ('II.' Right?). And I wanted to add another little piece to all who are having problems with some of the 1-7 section. Ignore the last 3. 1-4 are PRIMARY, which, if I'm correct is why they are first...

Have ANY women replied to this forum?

I read some of the guide, and many of the responses...but I have a hard time knowing if it was a woman or a man responding.

To clarify, I'm a chick, and I'm only responding with MY opinion. I can't speak for the rest of the female population on Earth...but I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels the way I do.

1. Don't play games. Games end, and someone almost always gets hurt.

2. Laughter and humor are absolutely #1 priority! A little *hint* though: Women can tell when you're "trying" to be funny, and when you're genuinely FUNNY. By "trying", I mean, you're not comfortable in your own skin and you're trying to be something that you're not. It shows. Sorry, but it shows.
Of course, if you're "trying" to be funny and you're comfortable with your funny-self, then by all means! Be yourself!

3. Be yourself. We don't want any surprises down the road. Three months or three years into the relationship, we don't want to find out that you secretly have been keeping something from us. Another *hint*": Don't tell us everything there is to know about you and your ex's on the first FEW dates. You'll sound obsessed and depressed. Spread out the "surprises" over the third through the eighth date.

4. Have a job. Self-explanatory. You don't have to pay for everything on the dates, but you'd better have a job.

5. Some mode of transportation is nice. Most girls, don't care about what KIND of car you have, as long as it runs and you can pick them up on time.

6. Listen to us (girls). LISTEN. Don't zone out...don't even THINK about glancing at the waitress walking by...or the "hot" girl that just walked in the restaurant....FOCUS on US. If the girl that you're with says something about the "distraction", acknowledge it, but IMMEDIATELY GO BACK TO FOCUSING ON YOUR DATE! You might be "quizzed" later on whatever it is that she was talking about at dinner!

7. Yes, we DO like nice guys. Nice guys that are confident. Maybe that's what "Alpha-Male" means. Confidence. That's all. No head games, no "you end the conversation first" crap. Just CONFIDENCE. A good way to exude confidence is to walk into a room or wherever, and "own" it.
(Yes, that's from Friends, but it's VERY true in life...and very successful). Good posture, nice smile, be direct, and "OWN" the room.

8. Be PROUD OF YOURSELF! This goes along with being confident. You don't have to ramble on and on about your accolades and accomplishments, but just your knowing what you've done with your life, and your successes (yes, we ALL have successful moments in our lives) should make you proud of yourself. Don't worry about the screw-ups...we've all been there, too.

I hope that some of this "post" has helped, or at least shed some light on, what women are looking for in a man.

By the way, it's OK to be single. Life won't end if you're not in a "relationship".

Jen

the first two posters (from this link) say they are girls in their profile and talked as if they were girls: "
http://www.wrongplanet.net/modules.php? ... c&start=25
" (<--11th and 12--> down on 2nd page... the last number says it's the 25th reply to the post, the 15th is on page 2... I posted right before they did.) otherwise I either didn't look at their profiles or they were guys.




How else can you gain confidence? I have heard that you can make yourself happy by smiling, so if games are how you can be confident (I know I'm quite good at games, but that's a different story), then why not play them until you know how to be confident and how to act. It's not like DataSage is saying you should play games on every future date and every future event (as I've posted before [# 24 "
http://www.wrongplanet.net/modules.php? ... c&start=24
" again, first one on the link, otherwise <--10th--> down 2nd page], if you and/or the girl have fun by your "act", what harm is there in it? It's not like you need to do it for the next girlfriend just because you did it for the previous one.), just for the first girls until you don't need or figure out you want the guide (this is a guide to meet women, and is still being worked on).



Good advise, guys shouldn't keep major surprises bottled up. I'm just wondering if you think the guy should say something about that if it's your first couple of dates and if one of the later surprises could be the alpha male act (it would be a surprise, and I do think it's what DataSage is suggesting, as I've said before, this guid is so far just to get the girl to think "I don't know why I asked for his number" not "I like him because he's acting").



Yes it probably is self explanatory, but right now I can't really think why it's necessary (4:16 am here), is it just so the girl isn't dating a jobless guy? or is there something special about "having a job" except that you have one (even if you don't do anything in it... I have a job, but I haven't put 1 hour into it for 4 months... could anytime I stop trying to figure out other stuff)?



Do you really think DataSage is saying guys need to end the conversation in the middle just so they are sure they are the ones to end it ON EVERY DATE? DataSage decided not to clarify what he meant in his update, but I personally would like it if he'd put "<-" and "->" or something around the new stuff in his original, just so it's easier to figure out what I can skip (I suggested, probably too late, that he just post the update and put at the bottom of the first one a link directly to the update... if he changed anything except adding the section describing the Alpha Male, I didn't read it, since it looked like it I head already read it.). If he decides to re-edit the first post again, I obviously would like the underlining to happen... then after he adds more stuff, he could remove the indicators and new ones for the new stuff (since those watching this topic would already have read the old new stuff).



I hope you are watching this topic so you will reply and help even more than the other two girls that wandered into this post based on my question in a different post (the two that are #25 and #26 as replies).

P.S. my posts might be a little confusing, but if you skip everything in "()"'s it should read as a sentence, stuff in "()"'s are just for extra information and pertain to the stuff right before it, it just seems easier to write as I think it, rather than trying to write another three sentences after to say everything I wanted to (kinda makes it more of an outline than an essay, but this is just a forum and it's not like anyone is grading me).

P.P.S. If DataSage really wanted to point out the girls, or someone else did, they would just have to do what I did and figure out what number they are... Just by figuring out candid89's number, I know mine will be #60, and it will be the first one on the 5th page (NO, I did not edit this after a test post. the pages start at every multiple of 15 <-and you can figure out what # is the last one, you can look in the forum page, under the "replies" column... I personally would prefer if they enabled HTML, but whatever, searching for "->" in word isn't hard->. If one of the girls asks me to remove the link and anything pertaining to them, I will, but not anything else.). It wouldn't do any good for me to post these, as I am not the first one, so the links would be burried in the middle of the topic, so anyone think that's a good idea? (candid89, your response would in my book be most heavily weighted, as you are the 3rd girl to reply <-[and it seems like you might be the only one that might... the other two would have by now]->, and it would put you in the spotlight).

P.P.P.S. Just thinking about it, I will follow the advise I'm trying to get DataSage to do, I'll put <-->'s around any edits I do to my replies (so it'll look like this: <-I added->, <--> removed, <--or replaced text-->).
If you want me to add <-'s and ->'s for you DataSage, I can do it somewhat easily if you send me the first one (or could cook something up for you in Excel <-if you'd like to do it by yourself->).
<-this wanting indicators might just be me just being stupid like I once was about BCC'ing instead of CC'ing->

Sorry that I got off topic at the end, ignore the P.S.'s and it isn't (I hope)

~Tom

Holy Crap, Mystic!

You CLEARLY work with computers in some capacity!

Please don't take offense, but I had a VERY difficult time trying to follow your response to mine.

Let me see if I can clarify (which is where I think you were headed)...

1. By playing games, I meant "Head Games"...not computer games, video games, board games, etc. I prefer it if someone comes right out and tells you that they like you...I don't like a lot of "mystery"...and I really don't consider myself "mysterious"...just guarded. If someone has something to say...then say it. Don't try to make me guess how you're feeling, or what you're thinking...I don't read minds.

I don't know where you were going with your response, and my guess is that I completely misread what it was, so I may just have to call this one a wash.

2. The only reason I asked if any women had responded to this is because the guide seems to be a little one-sided. TO ME, it seemed like it was written by a man who thought that he knew what women wanted...but in my book, he was WAY OFF! That's why I was surprised when I didn't read any real posts that had opposite views of "The Guide".

3. Major surprises, such as; "I'm really just re-bounding from my last relationship", or "I never told you this, but I am allergic to/hate Mexican Food (and you've been to eat mexican food for the last three dates)", etc. Something that will, once you've told her, make her feel stupid because she "connected with you" and will guess that everything you tell her is a lie. That's what I mean by "surprises".

4. The job being self-explanatory....all I meant was, you have somewhere to go during the day (or whenever you work) and you have some sort of goals in life. Not everyone works at a job that is their dream...but having a job (and keeping it) give the impression that you're "stable".

5. I'm not saying that DataSage is saying end the conversation in the middle of every single discussion...but EVERYONE likes to win. And by "win" I mean, have the last word. It's difficult to express what I'm saying on a post...verbally, I would've made my point hours ago.

6. Sorry about the "Holy Crap" remark, but seriously...I don't do computer speak at all. I've actually written about it in other posts I've done...I have just recently been told what NT and WP mean...but all I knew up until then was LOL...and that isn't that "funny" to me. I'd rather write out Ha ha ha...

Apparently I'm Old School. I'm on a mac 9.1 right now...and I can TELL it's "old school".....I'm SO old school that I had to download a free trial of Dark Castle because I miss playing it on the first Macintosh that came out!

Yeah, I'm a freak. Whatever.

Jen

Thanks, forums and search results all need to specify where they start and end, so it is just a matter of finding which number to change (I assume you were talking about the links). <-If you want, you can do the same thing to almost any search results page. If you want to see more results, just change the number after "per page" or something that looks like that... if you'd prefer to see newer replies over older replies in this post (instead of older replies over newer), go to this link (be sure to copy the entire line into the address bar, even if you have to scroll.): "
http://www.wrongplanet.net/modules.php? ... ec&start=0
" if you look at what I changed, I changed "postorder=asc" (asc for ascending) to "postorder=dec" (dec = decending), then I saw one of the first posts, so I changed "start=60" to "start=0". if you want to only look at the previous day, change "postdays=0" (since they can't do infinity in a link, 0 stands for it) to "postdays=1", don't change the rest of the link, as that would mess everything up (or send you to another topic).->



None taken, I write either so I can understand it or I work up whatever I wrote so other people can. I also wrote that at 5 am, so I was not totally thinking coherently.



I would agree that guys should tell the girl they like them, but this seems more of a guide to meeting strangers than to meeting someone you know, so how do you know if you like them? DataSage has said that not every girl should be "girlfriend material"... if "interested in you" is more what you meant than "like you", than I interpreted DataSage's advise as a way for guys to not always be interested in girls and not know if they are interested in return. What his advise gave him was the knowledge the interest was returned (since the girl asked for his number), and instead of it being all about pleasing the girl, his way makes/made it so he got the pleasure of feeling like he was interesting enough that the girl wanted his number, not just <--some dude that was--> trying to get the number from her. <-Also, since this is a website for people with AS (Asperger's syndrome), and a characteristic of AS (according to "
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aspergers
") is the AS person does not know their own feelings, how should they know how they feel about someone else? and since they can't read other people's emotions, how will they know if the girl is interested in them? I personally do not know if I have AS, but I can't think of a problem in my life that can't be attributed to it (although I have very weak examples for many of the problems usually associated with AS), so I figure getting treatment for it will help me help myself the most.->



You didn't misread it, I was to tired to write all the words I meant to. What I meant to say was if the guy has never had a girlfriend, would that be one of the things he should say on the first couple of dates? Then the second question was couldn't the "alphamale" routine be one of the "major surprises"? Its not like the routine has to last the entire relationship, it is just a way to meet girls, not to stay hooked up with them (although it could if you find it fun).



What do you mean by "real posts that had opposite views"? After the first post, alot of people took offense to the guide... do you mean criticisms to specific things in the guide other than it seems to be encouraging a "farce" in the views of the posters? I think the main reason there hasn't been and won't be any constructive critisms in the replies is those that have had enough girlfriends to give any good criticisms don't need to read and review a post that only deals with meeting girls. Maybe you could tell us what you think he was "WAY OFF" in so it can be discussed.



This guide doesn't help a guy "connect with" the girl, just get the courage to meet her and get her to not subconsciously think you are a fake or just like every other guy... just pointing that out, I don't think you were talking about the guide as a major surprise to tell the girl <-(although I'm pointing out that it could be)->.



Do you expect to have the last word / "win the conversation" with a stranger? Do you expect a guy that's interested in you to let you "win the conversation" so he scores "relationship" points? I don't think you'll say yes to the second question, but next time a guy asks you for your number, I'd like it if you could note whether or not the guy ended the conversation, and whether or not you thought he was confident when he did/didn't. I'll get to the last remarks later, just don't have time now.

<-


Haven't seen anyone use WP yet, but I was able to figure out the NT when someone decided to write it out (basically a luck of the draw).



My roommate hates Mac 10, it doesn't let him play StarCraft or his nintendo emulators... I personally go with Windows just because I don't like to worry about compatibility and the mac is just a different operating system now (macs can run windows).



And we are all unique, just like everybody else ("
http://despair.com/individuality.html
").

P.S. if you want to box what I said (as I have done to your words), just click the "quote" button at the top right of my reply, then copy from "[" to "]" on the first line, type [/quote] at the end of what you want to quote, write the reply, then paste the []'ed thing at the start of the next quote, deleting what you don't quote as you go (that's what I do) . Watch out though, if you can edit what you are supposedly "quoting". Be sure to check the preview of your post though, you don't want any of the [/quote]'s or [quote=...] stuff.

changelog:
1/9/2007 ~5:30 pm: original
1/10/2007 12:40 am: edit
->

Alright Mystic.

I'm going to try and be brief...since it seems that we're both fairly "long-winded" in our responses...

All I really wanted to say to guys who want to meet girls, is...you've got to have confidence in yourself before you're comfortable approaching someone (successfully).

If you don't believe in yourself, it will show, and it will 99% never turn out well.

1. Stand up straight.
2. Know that you're a good guy (if you're a jerk, knock it off).
3. Make eye contact (don't stare).
4. Smile (a half smile works...a BIG smile is just wierd - at first glance).
5. If you're in a bar - or some other public venue like that (ie: star trek convention, concert, grocery store, etc.), observe her for a few minutes (DON'T STARE) just to make sure she's single - or find out what the situation is (if she's with friends, etc.) - and LOOK FOR A RING on her finger....if she's got one...don't EVEN THINK about it!
6. DON'T STARE
7. Say Hi - or something clever like.

Here's a hypothetical situation...after going through steps 1-6, and she's single, sitting with her girlfriends, and she's noticed you...meander over to her table and ask about what she's drinking...if it's beer, talk about beer...if everyone is drinking the same beer and the pitcher is empty (or darn near close), say something like, "I've never tried that kind. How about I buy you guys another pitcher and I get to taste it?" Of course, that won't work with a generic beer like Budweiser, but I hope you get the point. You can do this, too, if she's sitting alone...

p.s. Star Trek convention is easy. Just ask about where she got her costume (assuming she's WEARING a costume). Places like this where people are already in the mode of goofy/serious kitsch...it's MORE than OK to walk up to a girl and say "HI, I love your outfit (DON'T stare at her chest)".

"Striking up a conversation" isn't necessarily rocket science (or talking about rocket science)...but it does take a little more effort that a simple "hi".

This isn't being "fake" by the way. This is being yourself. Just a little more confident. Once you gain this confidence, it won't easily go away...so you're technically NOT being "fake"....and you will have become an "Alpha Male"!

Jen

p.s. I TRIED to be brief!