Why is self confidence so bad?

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Why should a guy not do what works?

Oh confidence stems from success. If you are confident doing something, that confidence can and quite frequently does carry over into other areas of your life.

Self confidence is not bad. A few of the most beautiful people I've met are some of the confident people I've known. Thing is, there's tons more confident douches out there than non-douches, at least that's what I have experienced. So I can understand why a lot of people on here have a bad opinion of confident people.

Last edited by Pondering on 10 Sep 2012, 4:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.

There are two kinds of confident people:

Jerks who tend to act confident more than actually being confident and then truly confident people. Those who are truly confident rarely put down others.

I think that's true. A lot of these so called confident people are surely putting on a show.

Of course, a lot of people tend to perceive forcefulness, though-mindedness and a host of other things as "rude", "jerkish" and various other forms of behavior also, which is inaccurate.

Some people have thick skins other have skins so thin that Stevie Wonder could see through them with his eyes closed.

80-90% of coming off as tough-fighter type person is in the act of it or "putting on a show" of it with words. A lot of "confident" guys who do that can't back it up very well when getting in an actual physical fight with somebody. Because they count on it to keep them out of a fight in the first place.

As long as you can tell them from the remaining 10 - 20% that will snap you in half, or are capable of handling that 10 - 20% you should be fine. Also, just as a general rule, anyone who tells you that they'll kick your ass, won't.

I remember a lot of people like that who were big-talkers, but you'd never see or hear of them getting in actual fight with somebody to prove it. I also suspect a lot of them were sociopaths(ASPD) that liked to "pose" and put on a fake show constantly.

Animals puff themselves up for defence.

Self confidence, true or false, good or bad, reduces your chances of being picked on, establishes territory, attracts mates, gets jobs, brings fame etc etc

Geese ward of dogs with shows of confidence, until they choose the wrong dog.... dead meat

Last edited by Surfman on 11 Sep 2012, 6:37 am, edited 1 time in total.

Sociopaths do not put on shows, they will f**k you up especially if they are so called "reputation defending" sociopaths. Of course, if you go by the number of people that members on this forum identify as sociopaths (including myself at one point), you'd think ASPD was as common as a cold.

I suppose that's true for the most part since prison inmates for example are usually sociopaths. A lot of them perceive themselves to be much tougher than they actually are though. I don't mean the prison inmate ones necessarily though.

You should keep in mind that Robert Hare's research on sociopaths has some limitations. It's what happens when your only source of research subjects for your chosen personality disorder tend to be the prison population. If you read Hare's book "Snakes in suits" you get a somewhat different picture that helps nuance the overall perception.

It's also worth to note that according to Martha Stroud's "The Sociopath Next Door" only about 20% of prison inmates are sociopaths.

I think there's different levels of ASPD too though. Some of the fake-tough/confident guys are probably mild-sociopaths whereas the actual violent criminal ones are higher up on the scale.

A lot of people like confident others, and would like to have them for friends, Usually over less confident friends

Women would probably choose a confident male, over a less confident one

You can remove the word "probably" from that sentence. They'll pick a chest-thumping over-confident guy over a wet noodle 99% of the time. This is the reason bullies attack others to DESTROY that self-confidence in others... over the years, they gain the advantage of remaining "confident" while their victims slowly turn into wet noodles. Then the women mate with him.


I seriously need to see some POSITIVE examples of confidence, because the vast majority of confident people I've seen are either bullies, uncooperative, inflexible and/or just plain mean-spirited.