Do aspie men want advice from aspie women?
I don't want advice... as I only need advice...
Thus I can choose whether to act on it or not.
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www.wrongplanet.net/postp5013377.html&h ... t=#5013377
Sora: "My friends are my power."
Ventus: "I'm asking you as a friend. Just... put an end to me."
I can reciprocate or even initiate a little bit of flirtation but I am and probably forever will be an "I'd rather err on the side of cautious than push my luck" kind of guy making it practically impossible to seal the deal without her actually closing her eyes and moving her lips towards mine or making a similar gesture that proves to me without a doubt that she's into me... god I feel pathetic.
Nothing pathetic about being shy, bud. With my current girlfriend, I was just trying to be friendly and nice and take things slow, see what happens, you know, cuz every other relationship I'd been in, we had lots of sex early on, and then it just fizzled out into nothing, and they ended up hating me, so I didn't bother trying to do anything extra special, just be myself and enjoy her company and everything. But the night we met, SHE surprised me with a nice big wet tongue kiss. That was wonderful. I feel a lot better when the girl makes a move, because I'm really bad at reading body language unless it's direct. I HATE always having to initiate(or try to, rather) only to find out that she's not interested, and I've gone and worked myself up for nothing.
Thank you FMX and Surfman, very nice of you to say
steviewonderau, thank you for illustrating exactly the kind of posts that I'm talking about. You only needed to do it once though, not repeatedly go off-topic.
Then after a while I thought, no wait, is this a trick question, are you going to reveal the truth about me (men in general) that I do not want to hear, which will mean I must change. My ego will get into the way and then probably try to bulldoze over you in the process of making you go quiet. To hide my hurt feelings/bruised ego. So I thought hell no, rather keep it to yourself. But I'm pretty sure I would change even if I hated to admit to hiding the fact that you were right, but I'll hate you for it regardless.
So my answer is this, do it, but keep in mind that you will get run over and barked at, we might learn from it, but might also never want to admit and reply with a thank you.
I have sometimes wondered if this happens. I mean, my posts sometimes get bulldozed over, but I like to think that even if the person bulldozing doesn't listen to what I have to say, there might be lurkers watching the thread who get some use out of it.
Shatbat
Veteran
Joined: 19 Feb 2012
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,791
Location: Where two great rivers meet
That's why I think it's a good idea to put your advice out there. Those who can use it will use it, and those who can't, you'll learn their names soon enough and leave them be
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To build may have to be the slow and laborious task of years. To destroy can be the thoughtless act of a single day. - Winston Churchill
That's why I think it's a good idea to put your advice out there. Those who can use it will use it, and those who can't, you'll learn their names soon enough and leave them be
I'm not generally the argumentative type, but sometimes "leaving them be" around here can be difficult! I think lots of people feel the same, as the ranty threads are the ones that tend to have the most pages. It can be kind of entertaining, but then I feel drained afterwards because it went nowhere (or backwards).
After reading the responses here though, I feel much better about giving my advice and just letting people "take it or leave it", which is how it should be. Thanks for all the input everyone.
LOL! Wouldn't that be nice though? Everyone approaches politely and you can just pick & choose? "I'll take you - then you - not you - maybe later - and you again."
Yeah, you gals have a few similar problems and a few we don't. You'd have to be blind not to see/recognize that...
LOL! Wouldn't that be nice though? Everyone approaches politely and you can just pick & choose? "I'll take you - then you - not you - maybe later - and you again."
Yeah, you gals have a few similar problems and a few we don't. You'd have to be blind not to see/recognize that...
Yes, and it would be a musical After all I have a talent to create stupid lyrics and poems about embarrassing moments of my love life.
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I don't use English since September 2007.
YT, due to your kind handed advice I found you an extremely attractive person, I felt a kindred spirit in you.
However, WP is not always a safe place to be kind handed, or offer unsolicited advice to other members
This is evident by this thread...............
I had to involve the police and other government agencies, due to my email being hacked by another WP member... who took offence when I in my own way... tried to jolly him up.
Be wary. Sticking your neck out for others often involves pain
like a wild animal lashing out when getting a thorn removed from their paw.........
I really do appreciate your kind gestures and attentions, though others here may see you as a target for interfering. Be wary
However, WP is not always a safe place to be kind handed, or offer unsolicited advice to other members
This is evident by this thread...............
I had to involve the police and other government agencies, due to my email being hacked by another WP member... who took offence when I in my own way... tried to jolly him up.
Be wary. Sticking your neck out for others often involves pain
like a wild animal lashing out when getting a thorn removed from their paw.........
I really do appreciate your kind gestures and attentions, though others here may see you as a target for interfering. Be wary
I haven't experienced that as yet, and am surprised that you have. I don't think any of my advice is unsolicited, I only respond to the questions at hand...and if the OP was to say "men only to respond please" (or similar), I would respect that. Are you saying that others may take advice as "unsolicited" even when it is not? I don't think I have the energy to try to be that cautious. I like WP and how, in general, honesty and sincerity is taken well. I'd hate to have to start an Excel spreadsheet of bad apples to avoid, or something.
AyporosFM
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: 2 Nov 2012
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 65
Location: Netherlands
However, WP is not always a safe place to be kind handed, or offer unsolicited advice to other members
This is evident by this thread...............
I had to involve the police and other government agencies, due to my email being hacked by another WP member... who took offence when I in my own way... tried to jolly him up.
Be wary. Sticking your neck out for others often involves pain
like a wild animal lashing out when getting a thorn removed from their paw.........
I really do appreciate your kind gestures and attentions, though others here may see you as a target for interfering. Be wary
I haven't experienced that as yet, and am surprised that you have. I don't think any of my advice is unsolicited, I only respond to the questions at hand...and if the OP was to say "men only to respond please" (or similar), I would respect that. Are you saying that others may take advice as "unsolicited" even when it is not? I don't think I have the energy to try to be that cautious. I like WP and how, in general, honesty and sincerity is taken well. I'd hate to have to start an Excel spreadsheet of bad apples to avoid, or something.
Hmmmm Excel spreadsheets.. *drools*
Seriously though, some people need to chill out.
If someone doesn't want your advice they can feel free to NOT read it.
Honestly, being butthurt over something someone might have said on the internet is seriously immature.. hacking someone because you took offence to something he/she said is the lowest one can go.
I say bring on the advice! My personal opinion in life is that you can never learn/know too many viewpoints! Even if someone asks for NT/male advice specifically don't feel that you CAN'T give your opinion on the issue at hand as long as you have something to contribute.
I reckon we're done now with this thread, nothing more to say methinks?
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<INSERT ZEEKY BOOGY DOOG HERE>
PM me if it is vital I read your response to something I say in a topic as I might not be able to check responses in all the threads I've posted in. =)
If a guy comes on the Love and Dating forum then proceeds to complain about women and how he can't get a date - Then swats away any advice given because it doesn't fit his narrow minded and often sexist view on women. Then he pretty much deserves to be single. Forever
Quips aside. I think advice is always nice to have. It can genuinely help people who are willing to listen.
I bear a lot of resentment toward women, and am firmly on one side of the "gender war." Many of the women on this forum, based on some of the threads here, bear a lot of resentment toward men and are firmly on the other side of the gender war. That doesn't seem very conducive to productive interactions, and reading some of the threads here seems to confirm that view. I don't think I can see eye-to-eye with many of the women here.
The actual advice here seems to be either too general to easily apply, too basic for my level of functioning, or the blind leading the blind. Not much of it is relevant to my particular problems (bridging the gap between acquaintance and friend, for example).
There seems to be little opportunity to commiserate in a supportive environment because this environment doesn't seem supportive - people who express their feelings of loneliness seem to be met with criticism or unwanted advice more than support, encouragement, or sympathy/empathy.
So the fact that I'm not receptive to advice from AS women may also be a consequence of the fact that I'm not especially receptive to advice on this subforum in general.
AngelKnight
Veteran
Joined: 3 May 2011
Age: 48
Gender: Male
Posts: 749
Location: This is not my home; I'm just passing through
Your best bet may be to proceed with the risk that the person who asked a question may not have been asking it from a logical frame of mind in every instance. Preconceptions about Aspies tending to ask a question when they honestly want the answer, more often than neurotypicals doing the same, might not be warranted.
Venting isn't prohibited to The Haven, after all.
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