07 Jan 2013, 4:58 pm
Caesaran wrote:
My best advice for seducing an aspie male is get an extra Large pizza and pack of soda/Beer alongside a documentary dvd that goes into scientific/historical detail about sex as well as gifting him a copy of the kama sutra. That is about subtle as it could possible it could get for an aspie male although the pizza and canned drink would be a good indicator of wanting something from him.
Don't need to do that for me - you just need to smile and flirt with me, and grope me a bit.
07 Jan 2013, 5:01 pm
07 Jan 2013, 5:14 pm
AspieOtaku wrote:
Caesaran wrote:
My best advice for seducing an aspie male is get an extra Large pizza and pack of soda/Beer alongside a documentary dvd that goes into scientific/historical detail about sex as well as gifting him a copy of the kama sutra. That is about subtle as it could possible it could get for an aspie male although the pizza and canned drink would be a good indicator of wanting something from him.
Ultimately, make something awesome for him.
This would actually work on me!! Ultimately, make something awesome for him.
The pizza and canned drink or the Documentary about sex with a copy of the kama sutra?
07 Jan 2013, 5:20 pm
One thing can be settled at least, though unfortunately it will not be very helpful to the OP.
Orangutans.
It is not true that most men would make it with an Orangutan if no one was looking. The most reliable figure I could find put the number for men who would make it with any animal is 8% and women at 4%. (Kinsey Report)
Orangutans are estimated to be 7 times stronger then humans. They not only could rip your arm off, but also your head and legs and then squish you into a kind of snowball.
07 Jan 2013, 5:47 pm
07 Jan 2013, 5:55 pm
07 Jan 2013, 6:50 pm
Thank you everyone for your replies. Some I feel are a bit hostile, which I understand. If the roles were the other way around I would even think the story to be dodgy. But that's because, I believe, every story is different. It's hard to explain everything in detail and my story was interpreted in ways I thought were not even possible. Incorrigible, I'm really sorry about your son but I would rather throw myself off a cliff rather than harass a person. I also did not have a great time at school and boys would make fun of me all the time (I was a chubby, shy girl), it's not something I wish for anyone. I hope your son recovers, I hope he can understand, I hope he can forgive.
I kissed this man in a situation of closeness, after having spent the evening together, after some talking. The moment felt right and, as many people thankfully pointed out, his first "no" a few weeks back seemed to me like some defence mechanism otherwise he would not choose to spend so much time with me. I would not spend much time with someone I felt threatened by, I don't see why he would, Aspie or non-Aspie. He's willingly spent time with me since my physical attempt to kiss him. He still looks at me smiling, in that very charming way he has. I really hope he did not feel harassed by me. I will ask him when the moment is right.
Your comments have given me a lot to think about. It is pretentious of me to think that by writing in this forum I can understand what is happening between me and this man better. Only by talking with him and by spending time with him I can understand him better. This was indeed helpful advice from some of you (to get to know him better). Although you all gave me helpful advice. Not sure about the hammer 
If I were some perverted rapist I would have just kept bothering this guy, I wouldn't have cared about advice. My best friend actually advised me to write in a forum. Not because Aspies are weird and different so they need interpretation, but because there's always room for learning about different behaviours and different people than ourselves, and my best friend does not always cut it. I did not know Asperger's existed until I met this man. Sometimes it's helpful to reach out further if the understanding does not spontaneously spring out from within. I'm truly sorry my story and my need for advice made some of you feel uncomfortable.
I will write about any development in whatever is going on between me and mr shy housemate. I will definitely not do anything out of the blue and physical until he does it first, that's one decision I've taken. It might take forever, it might never happen, it's a chance I think I need to take now. And if he does wish to be close to me and he achieves that, it will help him take a step beyond his comfortable space and routine. If he doesn't care about me and does not wish to be with me in any way, well that's that. I hope he will, though. Time will tell. Cheers everyone.
07 Jan 2013, 7:07 pm
07 Jan 2013, 7:15 pm
Agapimeni wrote:
Thank you everyone for your replies. Some I feel are a bit hostile, which I understand. If the roles were the other way around I would even think the story to be dodgy. But that's because, I believe, every story is different. It's hard to explain everything in detail and my story was interpreted in ways I thought were not even possible. Incorrigible, I'm really sorry about your son but I would rather throw myself off a cliff rather than harass a person. I also did not have a great time at school and boys would make fun of me all the time (I was a chubby, shy girl), it's not something I wish for anyone. I hope your son recovers, I hope he can understand, I hope he can forgive.
I kissed this man in a situation of closeness, after having spent the evening together, after some talking. The moment felt right and, as many people thankfully pointed out, his first "no" a few weeks back seemed to me like some defence mechanism otherwise he would not choose to spend so much time with me. I would not spend much time with someone I felt threatened by, I don't see why he would, Aspie or non-Aspie. He's willingly spent time with me since my physical attempt to kiss him. He still looks at me smiling, in that very charming way he has. I really hope he did not feel harassed by me. I will ask him when the moment is right.
Your comments have given me a lot to think about. It is pretentious of me to think that by writing in this forum I can understand what is happening between me and this man better. Only by talking with him and by spending time with him I can understand him better. This was indeed helpful advice from some of you (to get to know him better). Although you all gave me helpful advice. Not sure about the hammer If I were some perverted rapist I would have just kept bothering this guy, I wouldn't have cared about advice. My best friend actually advised me to write in a forum. Not because Aspies are weird and different so they need interpretation, but because there's always room for learning about different behaviours and different people than ourselves, and my best friend does not always cut it. I did not know Asperger's existed until I met this man. Sometimes it's helpful to reach out further if the understanding does not spontaneously spring out from within. I'm truly sorry my story and my need for advice made some of you feel uncomfortable.
I will write about any development in whatever is going on between me and mr shy housemate. I will definitely not do anything out of the blue and physical until he does it first, that's one decision I've taken. It might take forever, it might never happen, it's a chance I think I need to take now. And if he does wish to be close to me and he achieves that, it will help him take a step beyond his comfortable space and routine. If he doesn't care about me and does not wish to be with me in any way, well that's that. I hope he will, though. Time will tell. Cheers everyone.
I kissed this man in a situation of closeness, after having spent the evening together, after some talking. The moment felt right and, as many people thankfully pointed out, his first "no" a few weeks back seemed to me like some defence mechanism otherwise he would not choose to spend so much time with me. I would not spend much time with someone I felt threatened by, I don't see why he would, Aspie or non-Aspie. He's willingly spent time with me since my physical attempt to kiss him. He still looks at me smiling, in that very charming way he has. I really hope he did not feel harassed by me. I will ask him when the moment is right.
Your comments have given me a lot to think about. It is pretentious of me to think that by writing in this forum I can understand what is happening between me and this man better. Only by talking with him and by spending time with him I can understand him better. This was indeed helpful advice from some of you (to get to know him better). Although you all gave me helpful advice. Not sure about the hammer
If I were some perverted rapist I would have just kept bothering this guy, I wouldn't have cared about advice. My best friend actually advised me to write in a forum. Not because Aspies are weird and different so they need interpretation, but because there's always room for learning about different behaviours and different people than ourselves, and my best friend does not always cut it. I did not know Asperger's existed until I met this man. Sometimes it's helpful to reach out further if the understanding does not spontaneously spring out from within. I'm truly sorry my story and my need for advice made some of you feel uncomfortable. I will write about any development in whatever is going on between me and mr shy housemate. I will definitely not do anything out of the blue and physical until he does it first, that's one decision I've taken. It might take forever, it might never happen, it's a chance I think I need to take now. And if he does wish to be close to me and he achieves that, it will help him take a step beyond his comfortable space and routine. If he doesn't care about me and does not wish to be with me in any way, well that's that. I hope he will, though. Time will tell. Cheers everyone.
Well said & I wish you luck with this.
08 Jan 2013, 1:29 am
08 Jan 2013, 9:49 am
Agapimeni wrote:
Thank you everyone for your replies.
It's OK; no problem.
Agapimeni wrote:
Some I feel are a bit hostile, which I understand.
That's probably because we don't have an in-depth knowledge of the situation like you do. We're not there, after all - you are.
Agapimeni wrote:
If the roles were the other way around I would even think the story to be dodgy.
If you think that the roles were the other way round make the story look dodgy, what makes it different in this case where they aren't?
Agapimeni wrote:
But that's because, I believe, every story is different.
True. Very true.
Agapimeni wrote:
It's hard to explain everything in detail and my story was interpreted in ways I thought were not even possible.
OK, fair enough. Just as long as you can understand people's concern.
Agapimeni wrote:
I also did not have a great time at school and boys would make fun of me all the time (I was a chubby, shy girl), it's not something I wish for anyone.
Are you still chubby and shy? Then the object of your affection is a lucky bastard...
Agapimeni wrote:
I kissed this man in a situation of closeness, after having spent the evening together, after some talking. The moment felt right and, as many people thankfully pointed out, his first "no" a few weeks back seemed to me like some defence mechanism otherwise he would not choose to spend so much time with me. I would not spend much time with someone I felt threatened by, I don't see why he would, Aspie or non-Aspie. He's willingly spent time with me since my physical attempt to kiss him. He still looks at me smiling, in that very charming way he has. I really hope he did not feel harassed by me. I will ask him when the moment is right.
From what you say, it doesn't (to me anyway) sound like it's abusive.
Agapimeni wrote:
Your comments have given me a lot to think about.
Good.
Agapimeni wrote:
It is pretentious of me to think that by writing in this forum I can understand what is happening between me and this man better.
A lot of people are like that though. They believe that people with autism or Asperger's are all the same and this couldn't be further from the truth.
Agapimeni wrote:
Only by talking with him and by spending time with him I can understand him better.
This is quite true.
Agapimeni wrote:
Not sure about the hammer
The idea behind the sledgehammer is that you might have to take that approach to telling him you like him. With a lot of people who have Asperger's, simply flirting with them and dropping hints will get you nowhere and won't do you any good because either they won't recognise these hints or they won't know how to act on them (or even if they are actually being flirted at with the intention of taking things further).
Agapimeni wrote:
If I were some perverted rapist I would have just kept bothering this guy, I wouldn't have cared about advice.
I wasn't suggesting that you were a "some perverted rapist"; what I was suggesting is that you might have been ignoring (inadvertently or not) someone's expressed boundaries. That doesn't make you a rapist, but it did concern some people here - myself included.
Agapimeni wrote:
My best friend actually advised me to write in a forum.
Good for your best friend!
Agapimeni wrote:
Not because Aspies are weird and different so they need interpretation, but because there's always room for learning about different behaviours and different people than ourselves, and my best friend does not always cut it. I did not know Asperger's existed until I met this man.
Good for you! You appear to be broadly on the right track.
Agapimeni wrote:
I'm truly sorry my story and my need for advice made some of you feel uncomfortable.
It hasn't - all that we worried about is that (as it read to us) that boundaries were potentially being breached. If this isn't happening, then you have nothing to worry about. It's quite simple, really.
Agapimeni wrote:
I will write about any development in whatever is going on between me and mr shy housemate.
Excellent!
Agapimeni wrote:
I will definitely not do anything out of the blue and physical until he does it first, that's one decision I've taken.
If you do it like that you'll be waiting forever. Stop this idea of dropping hints. You'll just get frustrated with yourself and with him. No.
Just gradually work up, with ever stronger hints, towards to being very upfront and direct with him in your wishes - if you want something from him, you're literally going to have to tell him what you want and if he likes that idea/agrees. What I was suggesting in my original post is that you cut to the point with him in a way that does not leave any room for ambiguity or for reinterpretation in his head. (That's what I meant by the sledgehammer!)
Good luck to you anyway. Please come back often and fill us all in - the world needs to know.
Last edited by Tequila on 09 Jan 2013, 12:32 am, edited 2 times in total.
08 Jan 2013, 10:25 am
08 Jan 2013, 11:03 am
BlueMax wrote:
incorrigible wrote:
My 14yr old son has to deal with this dynamic a lot. He was even assaulted by a group of older girls over the summer (at the time he was 13, and they ranged from 15 - a week shy of 18 ) at an event sponsored by the school he was enrolled in at the time. The police and CPS took reports but refused to investigate because the girls were minors. Ds isn't really interested in girls yet and was not only saying no but pushing them away and eventually escaped them and ran straight to an older boy in a leadership position for help. The girls said he actually wanted it and that he was just shy and nervous and that's why he said no and fought them (sound similar to this thread at all?). The school initially said they were interested in protecting ds, but after an administrative meeting they decided the girls were the ones in need of protection. They decided that ds was lying because he regretted saying no, and suspended him until he would make an official statement to the police that he was lying. We went to the school board, the press, etc, and everyone assumes that he is incapable of saying no or not wanting any kind of sexual contact simply because he is male.
Boy this burns me... and people refuse to believe me that certain aspects of feminism have gone too far and are causing irreparable harm to both genders!
It burnt me, it burned your boy... I fear for my two sons!
A friend of mine respected all women and rejected a girl that wanted to have sex with him and he was insulted and accused of being gay by his (male) friends. There are men that think "masculinity" = sex with a lot of women, and that means that you can't never reject them. So we can't forget that some men's loud-mouths are very harmful and other men are the scapegoats. Both genders from society cooperate to make us standarized
. Both genders are very, very, very stereotyped. People say it's unfair but... who maintains those stereotypes???
About the school decision, pretty lame, a lot of adults are dangerously incompetents and the boy is a double victim.
08 Jan 2013, 11:35 am
BlueMax wrote:
incorrigible wrote:
My 14yr old son has to deal with this dynamic a lot. He was even assaulted by a group of older girls over the summer (at the time he was 13, and they ranged from 15 - a week shy of 18 ) at an event sponsored by the school he was enrolled in at the time. The police and CPS took reports but refused to investigate because the girls were minors. Ds isn't really interested in girls yet and was not only saying no but pushing them away and eventually escaped them and ran straight to an older boy in a leadership position for help. The girls said he actually wanted it and that he was just shy and nervous and that's why he said no and fought them (sound similar to this thread at all?). The school initially said they were interested in protecting ds, but after an administrative meeting they decided the girls were the ones in need of protection. They decided that ds was lying because he regretted saying no, and suspended him until he would make an official statement to the police that he was lying. We went to the school board, the press, etc, and everyone assumes that he is incapable of saying no or not wanting any kind of sexual contact simply because he is male.
Boy this burns me... and people refuse to believe me that certain aspects of feminism have gone too far and are causing irreparable harm to both genders!
It burnt me, it burned your boy... I fear for my two sons!
feminism hasn't created the idea that men can't be raped.
that idea predated feminism.
08 Jan 2013, 12:23 pm
hyperlexian wrote:
feminism hasn't created the idea that men can't be raped. that idea predated feminism.
that idea predated feminism.Very true... can't find the video clip to go with that, but yeah - if a man claims a woman touched him in a way that makes him feel icky he'll simply be laughed at by everyone from peers to the legal system.
Thanks for not immediately flipping it around to turn the focus back to how baaad men are.
There's no denying that some very bad, one-sided decisions are being made here n' there.
08 Jan 2013, 12:29 pm
BlueMax wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
feminism hasn't created the idea that men can't be raped. that idea predated feminism.
that idea predated feminism.Very true... can't find the video clip to go with that, but yeah - if a man claims a woman touched him in a way that makes him feel icky he'll simply be laughed at by everyone from peers to the legal system.
Thanks for not immediately flipping it around to turn the focus back to how baaad men are.
There's no denying that some very bad, one-sided decisions are being made here n' there.it's an unfair system at the moment, and i'd like to se that changed. it's wrong that men can be abused but treated differently by society and the legal system, yet it happens every day. i won't deny there is a problem that needs to be fixed
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