Feeling ugly, flat chested and that I'm not good enough

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My boyfriend is 23 BTW. Closer to 24.

@Adventus THANK YOU! I'm so glad someone finally agrees with me instead of saying it's okay because he has a penis.

Nobody's saying that.... you're dismissing everything you don't want to hear as "oh, they're just excusing him - it's HIS problem, not mine!"

Last time he did something like this people said he was saying it because guys say stuff like that. Nobody did this time. Sorry if I was unclear.

Wasn't there something from Lucky Star?

"A flat chest is a symbol of social status"?

Hi EmoGlambertAspie,

At this point, are you feeling that you have some general deficiency that others see that has been specifically expressed by your boyfriend, or do you really feel that you have no deficiency at all, but rather they are what your boyfriend perceives based on his individual values? Actually, the two scenarios differ tremendously in scope.

@ShelbyGT500 I think it's the first one, plus an admitted prejudice against guys. I have a tendency to assume they'll drool over whatever comes along in front of their wives/gfs/partners and not even care they're around, then write it off as "a guy thing."

I thought it was most likely the first. As someone with autism, just like anyone else, but more so, any insecurities that you have can be leveraged against you. I don't think you are nuts, but just about everyone can benefit from reading a good book on cognitive therapy. In short, you will learn how to spot those times when you focus in on things and blow them out of proportion. It really is a study in coping and happiness. From my personal experience and having chatted with many others like us, plenty of people will get in line to use your self-esteem issues against you. Actually, I'm very glad that you participate in these forums so that we can make helping you a team effort.

On the subject of attitude toward men, I was born in 1955, the year that feminists use as the height of the male chauvinist pig era. And I saw the junctures that occurred in 1967, 1977, and 1992. One thing stands out, the level of compatibility between men and women has decreased tremendously. In particular, most women have a tremendously negative attitude toward men and default to negative interpretations of things that men do and say. At the cultural level, women have effectively talked themselves into incompatibility with men. Negative depictions of men are everywhere. I'm not sure what to do about it, but if you want to have a successful relationship and perhaps a lifetime marriage, you may want to see if there is some way that you can get a more neutral attitude toward men. That said, your entire environment is working against a neutral or respectable attitude toward men. In my age group, most single women, whether they been lifetime single, divorced, or widowed, no longer have the capability to have a good warm relationship with a man. They simply had too many years of exposure to anti-male feminism. At some point, it's too late to change.

Thank you but mostly, men have made their own bed I think. It's only natural to think this way when so many men think marriage is a death sentence, that it's okay to berate their significant other in front of their friends and talk about how they want other women, and imagine women as some clingy annoying nuisances when we aren't giving them head. Now, my boyfriend has only done the middle two things, and unintentionally, but the fact remains this is why I prefer the company of gay men. The ones I know genuinely like me as a friend and make me feel like I'm appreciated because of all the volunteering I do for their equality. That and they're just so damn nice.