Men, Women - how easy is it for you to find dates?
Oh, I have lots of trouble in the dating scene. Sad to say, I have never been on a single date in my entire life. I could link this to several factors. One, I'm not that good with approaching women in the first place. Second, I have this paronoid belief that every single woman that I'm at least slightly attracted to is already in a relationships of some kind. Finally, there are all of these social rules that I seem to have to follow.
for me, the problem isn't that i cant get women to agree to a date; i just cant seem to get myself to ask for one. i cant for the life of me detect interest in a woman, and even if it is spelled out for me, i wont know how to escalate into a 'wanna meet up again?' let alone something more...
^THIS.
Also, I feel like this should have been two separate polls, one for men and one for women.
_________________
Not my chair, not my problem, that's what I say.
Northeastern292
Veteran
Joined: 16 Sep 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,159
Location: Brooklyn, NY/Catskills
I'm 34 and male. Here's the thing . . . when I was in high school, I was dateless. I had no clue what the hell to do even when it was obvious a girl liked me. Eventually, everyone just decided I was gay.
In college, it got easier because I lived on a co-ed floor in the dorms. Girls were able to invest the massive amount of time it took to get through my density about women. A couple basically just resorted to asking for homework help, inviting me into her room, kicking her roommate out and locking the door. I had one girl who decided to sit there in a half-buttoned dress shirt and nothing else! So . . . that made it easier.
Post-college was worse than high school, until in my late 20s I just decided to unravel the entire problem. BY my early 30s, I had my s**t sorted out. I cleaned my hygeine. Dressed better. Got my s**t together financially. That worked OK to attract a woman here and there at the bar.
The I decided to start running and lifting weights every day. And I invested a ton of effort in going out to clubs, bars, museums, galleries, restaurants -- anywhere you might find couples and singles == and just watching who went signaled whom and how it panned out.
Eventually, when I would see a mating pair try to form, I made a quick guess about whether it would work. And then I'd ignore them until I saw one of them go to leave. Then I would note who went home alone versus who left together and I would compare that to my initial guesses.
Once I got a feel for how the guesses compared to the outcomes, I started looking for the pairs where my guess matched my later observation. Then I started looking for women whose interactions with myself mirrored the interactions in that set, where my guess and the outcome matched.
Now I can find a date any weekend I want. And if I go out alone, I can easily identify the most likely woman present who would be willing to give me a chance.
I should add, I have also reasonable established that I am considered attractive. So, factor that in when considering all this.
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