Men, Women - how easy is it for you to find dates?

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How easy is it for you to find dates/relationships?
MALE - quite easy, get regular dates or found LTR without much trouble 6%  6%  [ 5 ]
MALE - so-so, I get dates once in a while 15%  15%  [ 13 ]
MALE - rare to never, only when the planets align just right! 52%  52%  [ 45 ]
FEMALE - quite easy, get regular dates or found LTR without much trouble 5%  5%  [ 4 ]
FEMALE - so-so, I get dates once in a while 7%  7%  [ 6 ]
FEMALE - rare to never, only when the planets align just right! 15%  15%  [ 13 ]
Total votes : 86

SeekerofHope
Butterfly
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Joined: 7 Jan 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 9
Location: Michigan USA

28 Jan 2013, 9:04 pm

Oh, I have lots of trouble in the dating scene. Sad to say, I have never been on a single date in my entire life. I could link this to several factors. One, I'm not that good with approaching women in the first place. Second, I have this paronoid belief that every single woman that I'm at least slightly attracted to is already in a relationships of some kind. Finally, there are all of these social rules that I seem to have to follow.



Pabalebo
Velociraptor
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Joined: 2 Dec 2012
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Location: Poughkeespie NY

28 Jan 2013, 9:41 pm

izzeme wrote:
dates are all over my calendar, so i always know where they are. [/aspiemode]

for me, the problem isn't that i cant get women to agree to a date; i just cant seem to get myself to ask for one. i cant for the life of me detect interest in a woman, and even if it is spelled out for me, i wont know how to escalate into a 'wanna meet up again?' let alone something more...


^THIS.

Also, I feel like this should have been two separate polls, one for men and one for women.


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Northeastern292
Veteran
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Joined: 16 Sep 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Male
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Location: Brooklyn, NY/Catskills

28 Jan 2013, 11:11 pm

In college it wasn't bad, but post-college, well, that's why I'm heading back downstate (in NY, as I live closer to Montreal than the state capital of Albany).



MrEGuy
Sea Gull
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Joined: 17 Sep 2008
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 231

29 Jan 2013, 8:09 pm

I'm 34 and male. Here's the thing . . . when I was in high school, I was dateless. I had no clue what the hell to do even when it was obvious a girl liked me. Eventually, everyone just decided I was gay.

In college, it got easier because I lived on a co-ed floor in the dorms. Girls were able to invest the massive amount of time it took to get through my density about women. A couple basically just resorted to asking for homework help, inviting me into her room, kicking her roommate out and locking the door. I had one girl who decided to sit there in a half-buttoned dress shirt and nothing else! So . . . that made it easier.

Post-college was worse than high school, until in my late 20s I just decided to unravel the entire problem. BY my early 30s, I had my s**t sorted out. I cleaned my hygeine. Dressed better. Got my s**t together financially. That worked OK to attract a woman here and there at the bar.

The I decided to start running and lifting weights every day. And I invested a ton of effort in going out to clubs, bars, museums, galleries, restaurants -- anywhere you might find couples and singles == and just watching who went signaled whom and how it panned out.

Eventually, when I would see a mating pair try to form, I made a quick guess about whether it would work. And then I'd ignore them until I saw one of them go to leave. Then I would note who went home alone versus who left together and I would compare that to my initial guesses.

Once I got a feel for how the guesses compared to the outcomes, I started looking for the pairs where my guess matched my later observation. Then I started looking for women whose interactions with myself mirrored the interactions in that set, where my guess and the outcome matched.

Now I can find a date any weekend I want. And if I go out alone, I can easily identify the most likely woman present who would be willing to give me a chance.

I should add, I have also reasonable established that I am considered attractive. So, factor that in when considering all this.