The Southern Thread (how to talk to Southerners)

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I am fixin' to go to the store later on and let me know if y'all need anything. When I was at the airport the nice gentleman carried me to my car as I was just having a fit and could hardly walk in my new shoes.

Translated in my language (lol) this means: I am getting ready to go to the store, do you guys need anything?

When I was at the airport a nice guy gave me a ride to my car since my new shoes were killing my feet.

(I have lived in the south and originally I am from the Northwest). (Of course I have moved around and not sure what kind of accent I have now and sometimes I adapt to the place I am at and when in the south I say "y'all" and when up North say "you guys" and it is just easier this way).

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u0oBUdFoj9w[/youtube]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2K2GCJcAyF8[/youtube]

^^^^^^That girl in the yaller shirt is a skank.The spam sequence disturbed me so much I had to get a beer to drink.I would be mowing the back yard which is growed up waist high but the battery is dead on the John Deere so I'll have to jump it off.I do leave my Holiday lights up,but I use them year round to drink beer on the front porch.It's called mood lighting,I'm in the mood to drink on my porch.It's good to see they are recycling all those cans.And I'm barefoot right now.But it was 90 and humid the other day,let's see you wear a sweater vest in that kind of weather.You'll have a heat stroke fer sure.

They are probably snug and warm for you up there.Down here that thing will hang you up in the saw briars,beggars lice would get stuck all over it(a fuzzy plant seed ,sticks to clothes,let the chickens pick them off,easier than pulling them off),it would be hot and scratchy to wear.If you get into a bed of seed ticks with that thing on,you're going to be sorry.I bet they could burrow up good in that fuzzy thing.And the bright colors will attract the waspers.
And the old timers would ask,"whassa amatter,you run outta yarn fer you could git tha arms dun?"Now if you have one of those in Hunter orange,that would be practical.There's a nip in the air come deer season.But I think it'd snag on a limb and unravel.

Didn't these Southern Belles get hot, and feasted upon by ticks?

A sweater vest is a part of the uniform.








Without my sweater vest, people might think I wasn't a nerd or something.

^^^
how can people dress that warmly [without overheating] in the hot sunny south?

There must not be any nerds in the South.

Three types of people were sweater vests,I swear that every psychologist I have ever had wore a sweater vest,even the one I have now is prone to fits of argyll.And Psychiatrists and professors.
And those big poofy skirts were to protect you from mosquitos and the biting gnats,there are two kinds,buffalo gnats and the dreaded no-see-ums.Plus horse flies and deer flies.
And there is a least one nerd in the South.Me.
I was out in the sun all day,if I'd had on a sweater vest I'd have passed out.I wore a tank top and shorts.I'd look stupid doing lawn work with a sweater vest on.And I think it would scare the chickens.

Well, okay. You have a legitimate excuse to pass on the uniform.

During the summers here, I often go about without a sweater vest, and just blend into the NT population.