I am turning into a Misogynist.

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I'm luckier than I realize then.

This thread is ridiculous.

"Me Tarzan, You Jane"

^ Chivalry etiquette (شهامة) is still existing strongly in my area (The Levant) in everyday life. Not in the "ladies first" / holding doors fashion (even though those are recently imported in the latest generations) but in other ways; and if the man doesn't abide by it he usually gets the "stare of death" and shunned by others, especially by women.

Frequent examples:
- In bus, if there's no seat and a woman gets in, it is expected from the youngest adult male to stand up and let her take the seat, the same is done for the male elderly but the priority is always for the female.
- If you pass by a neighbor lady holding heavy stuff/bags then you are expected to give her hand, even if the lady happens to be three times your size.
If you don't she might talk badly about you to her friends as someone "lacking manners". lol
- Even if the car is hers, the guy is supposed to offer driving - and that not only in dating context but even among friends.
- And yeah, the typical wheel change thing; I think this one is international.
- At night times, the guy is supposed to escort the girl to her destination. That one varies from one country/area to another (in more strict areas, the guy should be a relative).

I've witnessed that same behavior among Lebaneses, Syrians, Jordanians and Iraqis. and they are very very common and frequent.

I do not think, that the average Aspie wants to act as a control freak. But in many posts and threads I found tendencies, that see woman like a thing. My english is bad, so I dont mean it in the bad way like "You are a thing." but this typical Aspie way to find general rules and orders for every situations. So its seems to me, like we like to have rules and orders in the way of repetitive doing, we also like to do that when it comes to social contact.

I often read posts, where people describe situations (!) and then ask how they shall behave right to reach their goal. And for me in this is the first failure: Because it doesnt depend on the situation but on the feelings of the opposite person towards that situation. And you often find simply no description of this much more important part, what they think that the person they are talking about seems to feel in that situations, instead you get a description of situations.

I dont want to say, that this would mean that these Aspies wouldnt respect their opposites. They are trying much effort to find the rule and order for acting in situation xyz, so if you wouldnt like someone you wouldnt put much effort in it. But by doing so, they simply lack at the reality, that there are no rules to people, sure there are similarities and average characteristics, but you cant relie on that, when acting, you have to check first which kind of person is in front of you, and if he/she is acting according to standard NT rules be happy, but first you have to find out, by being empathic against that person.

So by talking about "control freaks" it must not mean automatic the father-complex guy but these Aspie type, that is blind to the emotions of the opposite and instead concentrate on finding the technical rules of its opposite, also can act as a control freak when getting frustrated, that his opposite doesnt act as it should be according to his manual. So as example: "Let me tell you the technical description of a situation that occured to me. The room had this and that measures, the temperature was this and that degrees, the organic lifeforms in the rooms moved these followings muscles of their body in the following order. According to my checklists I interpreted this as technical situations 501-B, and according to my lists the correct respond to technical situation 501-B. would be respond 45-Z9. So according to my situations manual I acted as it is in respond 45-Z9 is described, but got another result than the one I should get according to the manual. Can someone tell me which technical detail I forgot, so that I know according to the technical parameters which situation protocol I am expected to carry out from my opposite."

"I have no tried 3 different situation protocols, and according to my opposite, none was correct. So I demand that my opposite HAS to act according to one of my existing situations protocols, becaue the only protocols left are my damaged-opposite or bitch-opposite protocols, and if she dont fit in one of my existing woman-protocols, then she must be part of the damage or b***h protocols."

I have overdone it a bit, but this demanding on finding the right manual protocol is also a kind of control freak. The frustration you show in this thread is a frustration born about your opposite not acting according to one of your characteristics-protocols, you yourself have created." And its causing pressure for every woman that has contact to you. "Ah, no woman acts according to the good woman manual I have created. - Ah ok, that means they are all b*****s, and there are no more good woman in the world, because if there still were I should have success with my "Get a nice woman manual." sooner or later."

I think a big part of the wrong information in your manuals, are that you need not only to find a partner you are happy with, but you need to find a partner, that is happy with you as well. And as you have your own deeds and things you need to be happy, others have those as well. You can blame around all day how terrible other people are, that they dont want to become your partners, but what do you want to attain? That someone agrees to be your partner and be unhappy on your side, simply because you are too silent, dont share any interest, have no understanding for each other... Many NT-partners like to spend much time together, visit events together ... they dont do that for fun, but they need it for being happy in an relationship. If they cant do that with a person, then this persons simply doesnt fit for them as partners. Thats not about being bad, evil, a b***h or whatever, but simply that there is no sense if they agree to have a relationship with a partner they are not happy with, because what would their partner get then: A relationship with a depressed, sad person. So this makes no sense for none of the both.

As sad it is, but many Aspergers dont find partenrs, bot because the world is so evil and all men and women are egoistic as*holes, but simply because many of us dont fit with the gross of humanity as partners. For 95% of men I would also not fit as partner, and there is no sense in offending them to create pressure, so that one of them would agree to have an relationship with me. I write often enough, so I think most of you will now me. Are you monsters or male b*****s, because you think it wouldnt work with me as a partner? No. But I am simply not that kind of woman you need for having a happy relationship and so you would refuse. But this doesnt make you an evil person. ^^

I went as teenager to a technical High School that was visited by 2300 boys and 300 girls. And even there was noone that knew me interested in me, or those that had interest lost it, when they knew me. ^^ That doesnt turn 2300 boys into evil monsters and malebitches, but it simply where 2300 boys that need to be happy in an relationship a girl with other qualities. This site isnt called out of nothing "Wrong planet." We simply dont match with many, many people on that planet. But that doesnt make them evil. ^^

Trion, sorry about the argument we had. Just to be clear I don't think badly of women, ok? No matter what you say, in real life I am a nice guy. I guess I am just subconciously trying to act like a jerk so ladies think I am nice when they meet me in person, but that wouldn't be being a nice guy would it? And I had a phrase fail that got a thread removed, totally said the opposite of what I meant.