Is it wrong to cheat if no one finds out?

Post Reply New Topic

So .. you cheat with the brother in law.
You keep that a secret, but at the same time your fiance is having a fling with your closest female relative.
Who is also after your brother in law.
Eyes meet at a family wedding - someone is stabbed with the cake knife
And the new baby is looked on suspiciously for parentage

And you all end up on an awful daytime TV show.
Seriously, don't bonk the relations.
And that sort of secret makes crappy marriages.

From the utmost of practical viewpoints, the risk of getting a disease is never exactly zero; viruses can slip through the latex of condoms in some instances, and the brother-in-law may not be one hundred percent honest about his health. If you unknowingly contracted a disease and spread it to your husband, then you are causing his health to suffer, thus bringing harm to him.

The following is just a conjuncture, as I do not actually know much of anything about the morality of relationships:

The reason that cheating is typically considered "wrong" is because you are giving some of your time, your energy, your passion, and yourself to another person, thus depriving this from your partner. I have heard that physical passion is a limited reservoir; the more of it you give to other people, then the less of it you have to give to your partner; thus, your partner will experience an absence.

Also, what Keni said.

Now, I would not believe that you are a horrible person if you were to have an affair; it may not be the most morally apt thing to do, but even the best of people do immoral things. As the others have said, though, honesty can have everyone involved future heartache.

No, adultery is a form of cheating.

Yes. You can emotionally give yourself and your time to someone other than your partner as well. It's not always about sex.

I think their point might be more along the lines of that adultery is simply the name for 'cheating' when it's done within a marriage.

As for whether it's wrong if nobody finds out... well..... is it wrong to steal from a shop with no CCTV if the assistant is looking the other way ?

Of course in open relationships (where it's understood that either partner might do whatever with other people) then shagging etc outside of the relationship is by definition not 'cheating'.

I don't know if this was already stated but what if the brother on law starts feeling guilty and then spills the secret? He gets forgiven and you don't. Now you're left with nothing. This can't end well.

I have been faced with temptations to do the 'wrong thing', been hurt and angry and wanted to hurt someone back, been taken advantage of, used, robbed, etc. I have had lots of instances when I thought I would be totally justified to do something to the other party, so there was no concern about hurting them. I do not make choices about morals for religious purposes, or for reasons about obligations to others.
People have taken a lot from me, and life often doesn't go the way I want, but the one thing that is totally mine, even if all else gets taken away, is myself. I decided I cannot control others, cannot count on them to be what I want them to be, and I am going to get screwed sometimes, but what I do about it is totally up to me.
I made a decision a long time ago, that there was one reason to do whatever I thought was right. I will choose who I want to be. I will not respond to others' bad behaviour by becoming something I don't want to be, and will live up to the ideals I set for myself.

At the end of the day, it's all about who you want to be. Every decision contributes to who you are, which will evolve over time, and affect those you care about as you go.

If you really cared about your fiance, you would not betray him. Period.
If you do, not only will you affect or destroy your relationship, you will then be seen an something different to who you are now. You will not easily regain your current image.

I will say that despite my best efforts, and ideals, my husband is bringing out the worst in me. it is one of the things that hurts me the most - that I find myself degenerating into the kind of person I really don't want to be.
I never said it was easy. But this is what I base MY moral compass on.

Ok I'll keep going. This is kind of interesting.



Like you can't really explain it much more, cheating is cheating. Lying is lying etc. Murder is murder....etc You are asking me to explain why the color blue is the color blue.

I get your point though, if no one finds out about it then it doesn't hurt anybody. If I did this I would feel guilt, because I think it is a bad, thus I would feel like I was a bad person. So to me it makes no difference if the person doesn't find out about it or not.



Ok so these are things that you think are wrong then. I'll say this
If you get caught you will hurt people.
You are abusing you relationship so you are abusing someone.

You are breaking your own rules of what you think is right.

Why is she being given all this attention?

Her profile says it's a he.

I simply dont see a reason to cheat. Either you are in love with your husbands brother. There is nothing bad about that, emotions can change, and we are not in fairytaleland. So go to your husband, and tell him, that you want to be with his brother, and if that was ok for him, or if not if he wants to end the relationship with you.

Or you are simply physical horny. For physical hornyness you dont need your husbands brother. You have hands, there are specific shops, and your husband has something for that as well.

I do understand the concept of physical attractness, and its proofed that humans have the instinctive need to vary the DNA of their children,to increase the possibility of having some healthy children.

But where I leave we deal with that with "Its ok to get some appetite outside, but eating is dome at home."

If you are simply physical horny, do yourself a handjob. If you are attracted emotional to your husbands brother, then talk to the involved people, means your husband and your brothers husband, about that and try to find solutions. If you dont find a solution, then leave your partner official, and then start a new relationship. But I simply dont understand, why there is a need for cheating on someone, it will only cause much more troubles then if you simply dealt with it normally, and talked with people about it.

If you simply want to get every benefit and advantage for your own, anyway how you treat others to acchieve your benefits, your simply childish and asocial. Normally, as a grown up you should be able to act responsible, accept your emotions instead hiding them and as well accept the emotions of others according to this. Means if you want to have a relationship with your husbands brother, there is nothing bad about that, as long as you accept that your husband should be able to do a desicion about that as well.

You've not only the feelings of your fiances to consider here (if they even exist to you) but you've got to consider the whole family dynamic here. If the cheating gets found out it will not only ruin your relationship but it will create a huge rift in his family and also break up the relationship the brother in law and his partner have. Indulging in selfish affairs isn't worth the potential aftermath. Do whatever you want to ruin your own relationship, as soon as you think about cheating it's over anyway. But don't put other people's relationships and family bonds at risk, for petes sake. Doing so just to get your jollies is the very definition of selfish. Your pleasure will be temporary, everybody else's hurt and anger will be lifelong.

Lol I would issue a divorce immediately and cut any contact with her.

I might be a closed-minded Middle Eastern after all.

"I want to sleep with your brother" - lol

w er

You are not involved, no your oppinion is not important for that, she is involved, her husband is involved and his brother. If her husband wants to end the relationships, its ok. If not, its also ok. The only thing not ok, would be giving her husband no possibility to do a desicion for his own.

You are not involved either so your opinion doesn't matter more than mine.

I am assuming their marriage is monogamous, so what I find it sanely ok is to go to her husband and maybe tells him she wants her brother instead of insulting him with this suggestion.

Oh she said partners brother in law. So that means she wants to sleep with the husband of her partners sister. Not her partners brother. I think.