Look out! It's a Nice Guy! DESTROY HIM!!

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I don't understand what you said. Why does she depreciate other guys?

Though I feel sorry for her being beaten and I really think she doesn't deserve this, I have no right to stop her from seeing him. They have already split up a number of times "for good", but something about him is apparently so attractive that she has always come back.

It was an interesting video but highly theoretical based on little evidence. Also, whatever truth it may have you can't reduce every woman down to this simple explanation, so it's an open question if it applies to 5% or 50% of women. By contrast, I think what blackSabre says is a far more reliable explanation of why people (male and female) stay with far from ideal people.

This partially also explains the appeal of mean guys. As much as confidence is important, some of my female friends have told me they don't like it when a man takes too much interest at the initial step, rather she prefers when she has to make effort to win him over. Affection is more valuable when earned rather than simply given. Nice guy is already giving the affection whereas mean guy needs winning over. This may explain the preference for mean guys in some women.

I just wish the people who do these kind of videos were so kind as to include a written version of them. They talk too slow, and my attention wanders. And such arguments are easier to follow in written form as well. I'll try to listen to this one now

Shau: Your confidence thing has a point. But there was something in yours that I already covered - bad boys, even jerks or sometimes criminals - they are good at something and it is both obvious and attractive to women. Even if their only claim is that they are good at being confident. Or at least faking it well enough to fool a fair amount of women.

The same thing doesn't work for "niceness". It's not overtly obvious right away, and for many women it is a given, so they don't always consider it something of value. Sometimes it takes a lifetime of learning the hard way that before they learn to value it. You can argue to the end of time that "niceness" should attract women sexually, but well (results anyone?) - niceness only becomes a plus in relationships and they have to be attracted enough first to get into one of those.

And Greb your version of history is pretty damn skewed. Only applicable since agriculture and humans have been around a lot longer than that.

Assuming your example of nice girl meets nice boy - so what? It doesn't mean either will be attracted to each other. It doesn't mean they are compatible long term. They can still be pretty equal over and not be attracted to each other at all or have any long term potential. What makes for the initial attract and what makes for a good long term partner are different thing - getting that balance right in terms of both is something that many people struggle with.

Last edited by Kjas on 25 Jul 2013, 9:10 am, edited 5 times in total.

"Being nice isn't the problem. It's being a doormat that is and helping others before you help yourself. I'm working on this too

Boo, Kjas, Greb, and the others here...you guys really don't get it. Not at all. This guy nailed it right from the beginning. Let me spell it out:

Dickhead + physical sexy = relationship
Nice Girl + physical sexy = relationship

Dickhead + not sexy = Single
Nice Girl + not sexy = Single

That's it. That's it, right there. The only exceptions are where the ladder two manage to score something from the bottom of the barrel.

We've all seen the sexy as*hole that pumps and dumps any boy she can get her hand on (plenty of them). We've all seen the charismatic, fun, smooth-talking lovergirl (They're honestly the cream of the crop). We've all seen the bitter, misogynistic losers (that no man in her right mind would touch with a 20 foot pole). Lastly, that sweet, kind, caring girl that couldn't match up with another girl, if her life depended on it (even if it was ANOTHER Guy threatening her).

That's it, boys and girls. That's the secret. Be sexy, and you'll surely have no issues getting a ring from at LEAST a plain Joe."

Grats to realize something that even teenagers already know. The question is: What the hell do you do, when you simply dont want a partner, that is not only interested in your high heels, just like you may not want a girl that is only interested in you being her "Ugha-Alpha-male-protector"?

Because thats the real problem if you are interested in more then finding someone, that is not into your personality.

THANK YOU

I think I do have some sort of attention deficit disorder I'll skip to point B

Don't make up things and don't put words in my mouth. I didn't say such a thing.



This is saying nothing. Obviously what is offered is the other person. What you do expect to be offered? Horses?

Dear god, this is like asking 'hey, how much is that?' and getting the answer 'money'...



I suppose you're talking about this 'And that's OK, you know, asking is OK. But if you want to ask, you have to give something in exchange. And you to give something that has the same value. Traditionally women were valuable because they were women. But now, well, now we're equal. So what exactly a woman offers in exchange?'. Just guessing since you don't quote.

So well. Fine. But women have been marrying up during whole history. So, if not what I said, which was the source of added value?



So it means that a nice girl rarely goes out with a nice guy that is a her same level.

Things didn't change much regarding this: When wars errupt, you can see how much more valuable women are in the eyes of govs - lower class men are the most expendible group.

He won't go out with her just because she's "nice". Nice in a girl is not sexually attractive (again - nice is only valuable in a relationship). Looks are.
She has to be good looking enough first. You conveniently forget that.

I actually do know guys who are you typical nice guys and know nice girls and they don't date each other, despite all other major things being mostly equal. The girls don't date the guys because as Shau like to call it, they are not confident enough. And the guys do not date the girls because they are not pretty enough.

Again, sexual attraction and relationship stuff are different. If you don't have the first then you never get to the second.

Guys who whine and complain around women will never be popular with women.


If a guy wants women to be interested in him then he should first be interesting. "Nice Guys" aren't interesting - they're boring. Nice guys who play a musical instrument, have an education and a job, who live on their own, and who can stand up for themselves (and others) are interesting.


If a man whines and complains about how he can't get a date because girls aren't interested in him, and does nothing about it, has only screwed himself.

Yep, so foreveralone I can't even get friendzoned. Yay having empathy score of 14 so girls cannot communicate with me.

I have to admit that I am not typical. Guys did try but could not cross the boundary that I now know came from autism. Nice guys were too quick to give up. My husband only succeeded because he was too thick to realize he was not reaching me so did not quit, and I eventually allowed things to progress to see what would happen, not because I felt anything.
But I would have liked a nice guy. I do not care for nasty, or cool or any of that crap. I do not care for material possessions. What I have now is a nightmare.

I disagree with you that a guy's looks won't get him anywhere. Good-looking guys will always get laid. Yes, confidence is extremely important in general, but all girls talk about is how cute guys are, regardless of any of their circumstances. The reason is that young girls have a tendency of romanticizing the hell out of whatever they see in a guy. They first fall in love based on his looks, then construct a dreamworld about what they think life would be like with them. There is a good chance that many nice guys who think girls don't like them have had girls crush on them but never realized it. I has crushes on almost every single boy I went to school with up to high school, and the majority in Uni. (lasting from a few days to a few years)

A guys behaviour makes all the difference - much more so than anything else (except if he stinks, nothing can save him but a good shower).

I think there is another important factor. If nice girls or guys come across as too mature and serious, they may look like they are looking for a permanent relationship, even if they are not. This might scare off a lot of people who want to have fun or not feel like they are being hooked and reeled in. I don't think many people want want to feel pressured into anything. Finding someone is already a minefield, it is better if it feels natural.

Actually, I beg to differ. For many guys, genuinely "nice" in a girl is romantically/sexually attractive. Typically speaking, it goes as follows:

Guy meets genuinely nice girl who isn't physically unattractive but nothing else going for her => Guy sees girl as relationship material

Girl meets genuinely nice guy who isn't physically unattractive but has nothing much going for him => Girl sees guy as good friend

^^^
Again - looks and confidence do not hold the same weight for the other.

This has nothing to do with you being nice. Nice and spineless are not the same thing. You're nice, and you're also spineless, and that's why you get used and walked over.



Nice and confident go together fantastically as a guy. Give it a shot as a girl and lemme know how it works out.



Replace "nice" with "spineless" and you're onto it, sister.





So you know the stove is hot...and you've burned your hand on the stove before...and you keep putting your hand on the stove...