Why do girls hate shy guys?

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goes against gender norms and also signals low testosterone. girls want high t masculine guys who make them wet and make them feel safe.

Last edited by wtfid2 on 30 Jul 2013, 8:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Yes, a lot of us do like masculine guys. I've dated a few who weren't exactly the picture of masculinity though. I really liked one of them but we just couldn't get along as bf/gf. We went back to being friends and still are to this day.

But, what I don't need is somebody to make me feel safe. Safe from what? If I can't handle myself then I don't need to be in the situation or place I'm in, and if I'm there depending on somebody else to protect me then I probably deserve whatever happens to me. I don't need no knight in shining armor like that. My knight in shining armor would be the one who comes in when I'm crazy and suicidal and at the end of my rope and talks to me and says nice things and makes me feel better about myself. Like the Stones "Emotional Rescue".

We aren't all p*****s who just want to stand back and hide behind our man's big muscles. (No puns were intended there) There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting someone you are physically attracted to. People can't help who they are attracted to either. My best friend likes the exact opposite kind of guys than I do. She likes the skinny almost emo looking guys with no muscle tone and who you are pretty sure have some gay porn hidden around the house. (Which I think is hot actually, but that's a whole 'nother thread) My older daughter likes the kind of chunky, cerebral, quiet type. She's been with one for six years. Another example is my oldest son. He's tall, broad shoulders, muscular, and very good looking (not just cause I'm his Mama, I hear it from girls all the time and always have. He's a very good looking boy) and he's head over heels in love with a short, very overweight red head that is ghost pale and covered in freckles and tattoos and does not have a pretty face and who is honest to God crazier than I am. Nobody can understand it. It's love, nobody has to understand it but them.

You said what you said like it was wrong to want the type that you want. Also, just because a guy is an aspie doesn't mean he can't be like that. There are also lots of NT guys that don't fit that type. And you know, your body is probably the easiest thing about you to change. I'm not saying you have to, yourself, I'm saying the general "you". If you or any other guy is bitter or upset because lots of girls like the type of guy that you aren't why don't you see about doing something to try and fit more into that type? Wouldn't that make more sense than watching girls hook up with other guys and feeling bad about it and talking about how it's not fair? Or, you could find girls that like your type.

im 6'2 and jacked(lifting weights is my aspie obsession)..been lifting for 10 years almost. doesnt matter though, girls dont like me. I think part of it is i give off weak pheromones. Despite being muscular, i have very low testosterone levels(levels that are similar to a 100 year old man's). IDK if girls can tell that stuff though. I dont ask girls out though or go to clubs as that stuff makes me anxious and im not a drinker or smoker.

My husband is shy. I am constantly having women ask me if I know how lucky I am to have such a great guy. I do realize I am blessed. That being said, my husband was one of those shy guys that women overlooked in favor of the macho "bad boys." Had they been a bit less shallow they might be married to someone awesome now as well.

One thing to keep in mind. Though some women may always be attracted to obvious jerks, most, as they mature, become less superficial and more aware of qualities that are truly important in a man.

Granny Aspie

Do you talk to them? Flirt? Ask them things about themselves? Another thing that's important that may not ever be explained to guys is the way you look at the girl when you're talking to her. You don't look at her like you would a friend or someone telling you something you are interested in. It's kind of a softening of the eyes, and relaxing the eyelids a little so they are open all the way but not like with someone you aren't romantically interested in. What about your body language? That's hard to learn and you may never pick up an instinct for it (I haven't) but observing it over the years and the results it gets gives you a a = b thing in your mind about it so when you see it you'll know what it means. You also have to display body language, not just read it. Do you smile when you talk to them? Not too big, but a kind of slow sexy smile.

I don't know from pheromones. I know what they are, but I don't know how much I really believe they have all that much to do with anything. You said it makes you anxious, and it will at first and for a while. But whats the absolute worst thing that can happen if you talk to a girl, ask her out? She could say no. That's the worst. It won't kill you, and it happens to guys all the time so it's not even really considered humiliating. It's like playing the slot machines. You take a chance, you might win something, you might not. It's nothing more than chance really. Is she single, are you her type, is she preoccupied with another guy or thinking about other plans? Also, lots of people have strange turnoffs that would make them say no even to somebody that's their type and hot and friendly and everything else. You'll never know why she turned you down. You just have to keep trying until somebody doesn't. You won't ever get a gf if you don't go out there and try. One isn't going to knock on your door to use the bathroom or phone or ask directions and fall madly in love. If you are nervous about talking to girls, get a girl who is a friend to practice with you. That's how I learned to talk to boys.

One of my best friends in high school was a boy. One of the most popular boys in school as a matter of fact, but we were just friends. I was in band with him and he thought I was funny and sarcastic and probably fun to hang out with but the way I was the rest of the way made it pretty much certain that no guy would ever ask me out. He became my friend and helped me fix that. We got to be as close as siblings and still are to this day. We would sit there for hours at night and practice. He would correct what was wrong and tell me try it again. So, when I liked this one boy who was a senior, I had been around my guy friends so much and hearing about how they asked girls out, and when we had practiced talking we practiced talking and me hinting that I liked him, or body language etc, but I didn't see how that would do me much good with this guy since we didn't really talk so I just flat out asked him out. We dated for two years. I've almost always asked guys out, so I do feel you on the anxiety. It's a lot worse for a girl though. Imagine the humiliation of a girl being turned down for a date.

Anyway, you have to try if you want a girl. Otherwise sitting around saying it's not fair that other guys get the girls is a moot point, because no matter what kind of guy they are, a nice one or an jackass, they are out there trying to get them. That's why they get them.

Lots of women love shy guys theres posts already of women who like shyness
hate is a strong word .. have you heard the expression handsome
quiet shy type ...some women like guys who don't like to talk a lot because they themselves are the gabbers and like to be heard..

others need the man to do the talking they might work as a phone ads operator or some draining job that requires lots of talking and just want to vent and listen....

shy guys just don't make the move first or fast enough and lose out when its to late.

your post about ''oh just do this'' or ''go get a girl who is a friend to practice with'' clearly illustrates how easy aspie women have it.

i have no social life, and my situation is hopeless...it's fine im ok with it...as ok as a guy can be knowing he will never get p****.

Misogynists don't deserve social lives.

not to be rude oliveoilmom and wtfid. but olive you are alot more social than wtfid.
and probaly have better social skills.

lol thanks bill i think in a way you were trying to make my point

oh fnord the word twister of the forum..yeah a misogynist calls her husband scum bc i dont like people who beat their spouses male or female. right. way to take a sarcastic comment i made and turn it against me bro.

I am not your "bro". Get over yourself and let the matter drop.

i may not be your bro, but you are mine..i love you man

Just ignore him, I'm going to. He got his little feelings hurt because I got on him for calling my husband scum, which he did out of jealousy. I don't care. His opinion doesn't matter and it doesn't effect my life or my husbands. If he gets his jollies insulting people and crying that it's unfair, that's fine. It's not going to change his situation one bit, and neither is he. So, let him sit in his room and whine unfair because other people have lives. Let the boy have that much satisfaction, Lord knows he won't be getting any other kind.

Just ignore him like you do a child throwing a temper fit for attention. He will stop or move on and blame somebody else for his problems then.

Ignore who?

i called him scum because he abuses you...and he should be shot for doing that s**t...you are scum too for going back to him and saying he is more worthy of love than the many virgins of this forum who are respectful.

women like you complain about being abused but then go back..ha what a joke.

im not jealous that your husband has a lazy 60 year old housewife with a bad temper...who is a criminal and can fight guys like they're going out of style. Did you even graduate high-school?

I was defending you..but you are too interested in picking fights to realize this