16 Oct 2013, 2:36 pm
16 Oct 2013, 2:37 pm
16 Oct 2013, 2:38 pm
16 Oct 2013, 2:38 pm
16 Oct 2013, 2:38 pm
leafplant wrote:
Geekonychus wrote:
leafplant wrote:
Shame about my crippling self esteem though, any ideas how I could fix that?
Understand, I was exactly where you were less than two years ago.........
The first step for me was accepting that i'm weird and always will be. Take the label and own it. If 99% of people don't like you because of it.......... SCREW THEM! They aren't worth your time anyway. The right people will start taking notice (both romantically and platonic-friendship wise.)
It won't be easy but these kind of things never are.........
Oh honey, I had to accept that part a loooong time ago..heh
Trouble with me is that I seem so normal when people first meet me. And then the look on their faces when they stop not noticing what's been right in front of them the entire time... I thought I could circumvent that by going online where you can't even see what I look like but it seems like the same problem is occurring.
So, yeah, not sure really what can be done..
I had a similar problem for years. People would mistake me for some shy, innocent mouse of a girl and not know WTF to do when they found out I'm the opposite.
I got piercings, and have tattoos in the works.
16 Oct 2013, 2:39 pm
16 Oct 2013, 2:42 pm
16 Oct 2013, 2:42 pm
16 Oct 2013, 2:44 pm
16 Oct 2013, 2:46 pm
Geekonychus wrote:
smudge wrote:
^ I've only just noticed you have a budgie on your hat!
Not a budgie:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Green-cheeked_Parakeet
Her name is Robyn (the bird wonder.)
I'm also one of those "bird people" which would likely be enough to put me under the "weirdo" category with most girls.
Oh, I see! That's very cute.
Most people are unimaginative and only bother to see value in what they're expected to see it in. i.e. they have no depth. Personally I think being a bird watcher is neat...if bird watcher was what you meant. If you meant that you kept birds, that's also cool as long as you don't keep them in cages for extended periods of time. That's super cruel. My neighbours do that. They have parrots in a cage and *never* let them out. They don't have any room to spread their wings.
TeaEarlGreyHot I hate spiders.
Lizards sound cool though.
I have weird interests that I don't tell people about.
16 Oct 2013, 2:46 pm
16 Oct 2013, 2:52 pm
leafplant wrote:
Geekonychus wrote:
^^^^Spot on TeaEarl!
While you may have accepted your wierdness, It sounds to me like you are having issues liking yourself despite this. I can empathize. Self esteem is quite difficult to cultivate.
leafplant wrote:
Erm. I don't really get mistaken for shy very often. Also, I am not shy. At all.
While you may have accepted your wierdness, It sounds to me like you are having issues liking yourself despite this. I can empathize. Self esteem is quite difficult to cultivate.
Naw, I'm rather fond of myself actually. Not sure why you think that I have issues liking myself?
It's kind of a natural conclusion from your postings, honestly. All this talk about having to fake being someone else to get someone isn't conducive to a healthy relationship.
16 Oct 2013, 2:55 pm
TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:
That perfectly illustrates the point of this thread. Thanks!
16 Oct 2013, 2:58 pm
why do the two have to be linked. It was actually the OP who decided I had 'crippling self esteem' so I went with it. I don't really know what people mean when they say that, if I am honest. I really do like myself. A lot. Otherwise, I would hate being alone and would seek any opportunity to escape myself by getting lost in other people or their vision of who I may be. The reality is quite the opposite. I really like who I am and I get confused when I am presented with commentary that clearly suggests that other people have an idea of me that doesn't tally with who I am. I sort of feel bad for them and guilty that I have somehow led them astray without meaning to (when really, they choose to see me that way, I couldn't have done anything about it) because there is (in my personal experience) no way to interact with other people honestly without them getting upset with me sooner or later.
Anyhow...another thread derail. I may need banning tbh 
16 Oct 2013, 3:07 pm
16 Oct 2013, 3:08 pm
leafplant wrote:
why do the two have to be linked. It was actually the OP who decided I had 'crippling self esteem' so I went with it. I don't really know what people mean when they say that, if I am honest. I really do like myself. A lot. Otherwise, I would hate being alone and would seek any opportunity to escape myself by getting lost in other people or their vision of who I may be. The reality is quite the opposite. I really like who I am and I get confused when I am presented with commentary that clearly suggests that other people have an idea of me that doesn't tally with who I am. I sort of feel bad for them and guilty that I have somehow led them astray without meaning to (when really, they choose to see me that way, I couldn't have done anything about it) because there is (in my personal experience) no way to interact with other people honestly without them getting upset with me sooner or later.
Anyhow...another thread derail. I may need banning tbh
Anyhow...another thread derail. I may need banning tbh
You didn't derail the thread. We are trying to understand the issue is all. I just want to understand why you feel the need to wear a mask in a relationship? If it's not an insecurity thing then what is it?
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