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Request for n00b dating advice: approaching a very shy girl

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Vectorspace
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06 Feb 2014, 2:24 pm

Having a sufficient amount of time to think about what to write definitely makes things easier. But we can't keep writing e-mail messages forever. At some point, we have to start talking and doing things in real life, and I currently don't see how that's going to work.

That's the downside when two shy people meet. The awkwardness gets squared. I hope she doesn't interpret it as rejection.



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09 Feb 2014, 10:29 pm

It's a good place to start and generate trust though. But yes, you must keep going forward. What I hope is that you guys will naturally like each other and connect through your e-mail communications, but time will tell us that


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Vectorspace
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10 Feb 2014, 4:34 am

Well, right now, she's taking quite a long time to respond to my second message.

Either she is just busy, or she has figured that "there is something". In the latter case, either she is overwhelmed and doesn't know what to write, or she is rejecting me.

If she doesn't respond in the meantime, seeing her in person will be a bit awkward.



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16 Feb 2014, 7:27 pm

OliveOilMom wrote:
Vectorspace wrote:
OliveOilMom wrote:
Ask her if she has a FB. If she has one then ask if you can friend her. If you don't have one tell her you are making one and can you friend her. If she doesn't have one tell her you don't either and are thinking of making one, why don't ya'll make one and friend each other, then you make you a second FB like it's new and invite friends who are in on the thing to that FB. Later on she will be pleased that you went to that trouble just to talk to her.

I don't use Facebook right now. Won't it be a little weird if I sign up just to talk to her, without adding anyone else (I can't think of so many people to add right now)?

Not if you say something like "I've been thinking of making one" and then add her, but also add other people too.

Are you saying that I should tell my friends about my "intentions"? I probably should, but this is so awkward... I never talk to my friends about anything emotional.


[b]Only if you had a FB and were going to pretend to make one so she would make one so you two could talk and you were going to add them from your existing FB. That way they wouldn't spill it about you having another one yet. [/b]


That's horrible advice, FB complicates things and makes people socially awkward in person. That's Why I left FB years ago and don't really text anymore. I either Skype, Call or just hang out in person. I need verbal communication, not this text BS. Text has no tone, is plain and quite boring when you're trying to make someone laugh. If you talk on the phone, there's no eye contact to deal with and awkward silences can be excused as a "I'm getting something to eat" or "Im in the midst of doing something".

But sometimes, you just got to let things flow naturally if you catch my drift.


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