why men don't chase rich women

Post Reply New Topic

I think it may be the other way around tbf. If I was chasing a rich woman she might think I was some kind of sponger, so I would expect them to be the one to find a man they want.

More controversially (everyone knows how I love controversy :p), I would expect the relationship to be about sex if it was she who sought me out, because I would not be high status enough for her to take me seriously.

It's a matter of ego. A lot of guys want to be the bread winner and are intimidated of what would happen if the chick made more than them in the power struggle.

Woman value wealth for security. Most men are career focused while women are family focused.

And women don't want rich guys. They want guys that will make them feel comfortable and valued.

I had a "rich girl" have a crush on me once. I was working for an insurance company and it was the franchise holder's daughter. The funny thing is that the franchise holder (my boss) was completely ok with this and even offered to give me money to take his daughter out.

I was furious. Granted, the girl was very pretty but I didn't see how I could ever be hey boyfriend and the idea of becoming basically reliant on her dad for money was not appealing at all. I actually confronted him about it. The pay model for the company was commission only, over the course of 6 months I earned a grand total of 25$ which I never ended up getting paid due to a clerical error and my apathy. But he was offering to pay for me to take his daughter out, which in my mind roughly amounted to a salary. I could already imagine the ridicule from the other workers: (this is entirely in my head fyi) "Hell, if I knew all I had to do to get a salary was f**k his daughter I would have done so long ago!"

In short, I imagined myself dating this girl and becoming a slave to her father's money, being unable to progress the relationship in the way I wanted and instead being beholding to him. I imagined becoming hated by fellow employees who were discontented and jealous. I also hated the idea of having my decisions made for me by a sponsor. I imagined becoming the archetype of the guy who owes his entire success to having married/ dated up and leaching off the clout of a "father in law" who grants him position because of his relation to the daughter rather than his merits.

surprisingly he didn't give up even after I made such arguments as he would be "paying me to f**k his daughter," "would ruin the morale of his workers," and "hard work means nothing if the rock falls back down the hill every day." (in response to his argument that I was, in fact, a hard worker.) I'm not entirely sure why I didn't just do it. I think that I had a poor view of my own value and ability to maintain the relationship. I also knew I was not NT and didn't know how that revelation would play.

Ultimately I made the analogy of mating monarch butterflies. Butterflies have culture. They chose their mates based on their ability to do a very specific Ariel dance. But different nests of butterflies have different culture and thus dances. A researcher studying the monarch noticed a male doing the dance from a different clutch attempting to attract female butterflies. The dance was beautiful with swoops and dives and graceful maneuvers... but it was still the wrong dance and despite his best efforts there was absolutely nothing the butterfly could do to attract a mate. my boss replied that was a beautiful analogy. to which I replied that it was, but in this equation I was a moth and not suited to the courtship of monarchs.

In retrospect I think I was a f*****g idiot. TBH, She might not have even wanted a second date but I didn't give her, or myself, the chance.

I agree. It's sad, but if a male displays these traits, it's almost like a dinner bell.



I don't agree 100% with this one. Females (and men) also seek out companionship, the goals do vary depending on the individual and where they are in their life. I have no problem dating a woman who has nothing, not status, no wealth. Just someone who is there for me, someone who would be willing to put up with my issues (giving me space when necessary, being there the share my life for the other times).



In my cohort, we compare notes on this, and there are many well rounded individuals, but when we're dating (or seeking mates) the topic of money, job or ability to put security (both physical and financial) comes up early enough, often times too early. We're talking relationships with people from Stanford, Berkeley and other nearby decent colleges. Honestly, I had more fun dating girls from SJSU and CSUS.



Yes. There are exceptions, but for what we consider the vast majority of the world, you are correct. It gets to the point where we start to obfuscate what we do and how much we make. However, not all women are like that, I have to hope, I really do.

This is YTD from a recent pay stub and doesn't even involve the brokerage accounts.

I don't think this is rich, but I do know (from personal experience and talking with my friends) that it's not something we like to mention in the initial rounds of dating. If our experiences (males) translates to the ladies, then I would expect that the ladies would also be hesitant to let a guy know how much they earn or their net worth.

We want someone who is interested in us, for who we are, and to do things with us. Not that we can't nor won't spoil - but the relationship is between partners who share and should be considered equals. We want appreciation, we want someone to like us for who we are, not for how much we make.

So why do we hide it? Because we have encountered those who are interested in our financial situation, a bit too much.

We hear the stories about women who conspire to trip up men and have a relationship merely to have children, children to be used as tools and not as a natural outcome of the relationship.

http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/marria ... nd-men-do/

I'm beginning to realise that I live in a bit of a bubble. I try and be-friend people like me so I tend to spend my time with people that are not focussed on material goals. I was just having a conversation with an older couple I know and they were saying that they are having problems finding friends their own age that aren't obsessed with money and one of the reasons we get along is because of our values. I do tend to walk in the other direction when I meet people who constantly talk about their holidays and getting their kitchen re-modeled and so on.

So I am filled with empathy for men who meet a woman who seems nice and then she starts talking about money. That must be awful. Sometimes I feel a bit indignant that I am single when I am so budget conscious.

That's an interesting point. A female friend once told me that a male friend of hers said about me: "what does she need me for, she's got everything."

Which I found to be slightly insane because I was on a really low income at the time and had a house full of shabby second hand furniture and was struggling to feed myself and pay my rent. I think he still lived at his parents house at this point, so it may just have been that I was living on my own that was the "everything" part. But still he didn't feel like I needed anything provided for me. Hello, what about hugs! But no that's not what his mind considered to be important. It's weird how people think i have it all together. I'm like a swan, seemingly floating along, but under the surface I'm paddling my feet like crazy.

most men would rather walk through hot coals and get beaten up and bloodied daily than have to be on hand to provide hugs as needed.

Truth spoken.


Quality. Except, nowadays it isn't a good idea using violence during political disputes, unless your views happen to be in sympathy with the government's. What made the political disupute lead to violence?


Exactly, it was your demonstration of prowess that attracted them to you. It wouldn't matter whether you were acting in self-defence, defence of another, or if you had done it just to stamp your authority and demonstrate toughness. Why is it that so many women fall for hardmen and themselves become the victim of domestic violence? Why is it that so many are willing to put up with the violence and abuse and won't leave for someone who would treat them better? Because the violent abuser provides her with a life of relative luxury and protects her from other predators. It can be seen over and over again, and proves that all that females are concerned with is one's power, status and ability as provider and protector. Everything else comes a very distant second.


I find it rather strange that birds would take an interest in someone just because he takes roids. Surely these guys must have some $$$ and/or heavy connections behind them as well(?)


Maybe she has high standards? The amount of $$$ he is able and/or willing to spend on her is a sign of his ability as a provider.


Exactly. You have to have things to offer that other men don't have, otherwise you're screwed.


Exactly and well said.


IDK what 'ROI' means, but again with sex, both men and women aspire to spread good genes, which is why they won't have sex with just anyone. Even the most promiscious among us will be picky to some degree or other, in order to produce fit strong offspring.

And even when other 'below average' folks don't want you either, you know you're in the s**t then.


That's what I say to people who have never had a partner once they're +25-30 etc. Normal human behaviour is to shun the abnormal. Always has been and always will be.

Stupid greedy cow.


Guys don't rate women based on their purchasing power.


I've heard steroids cause impotence - something one of these bodybuilder types told me.

Well Iain Duncan Smith married woman from a wealthy family. Now he leads the war against the welfare state ("scroungers") in the UK.

ROI means return on investment i.e. value created by making the investment.

The "political dispute" was some gay kid being outed and a stranger started hitting him until I told him to stop, then when I turned away 3 people started hitting him so I picked up the ringleader and chucked him while the other two ran away like little b*****s.

Also, either someone start it or remeind me to start it we need a thread about NT grifting protocols because I have no f*****g idea how that works.

Men only date rich women because they care about money.

Lol, that's convenient for him - since he's part of the club he can now demonize poor people.

In my experience most of those "scroungers" are working hard to find work, and the myth that "the majority make it look bad on the few" is more like "the few are being used to make the majority look bad". Flattering a certain group of people is a good way to secure votes - ie "working people are better than scroungers and middle class people are better than the working class".

That's off topic I know, it's just good to talk about home.

Ah, wouldn't it be nice if there were hordes of successful/rich women looking to pick up the average guy at a bar. Though I'd be up for that if she had anything else to recommend her I think it an unlikely match.