She is asking for it

Post Reply New Topic

I'm sorry that happened. I mean that.

I think it's understandable from what happening to you for how you think.

I just get a bit annoyed from the prejudice views on men. But alas I understand it if you went through that.

Just try rereading it again. What he said was innocent, he wasn't joking about rape. It's unfair to accuse him of that. Like the guy is gay, but that shouldn't matter anyway.

gay guys can be misogynists also - and misogynists never see their behavior as what it actually is

Guilty to proven innocent sort of thing.

Does Misandry see it's behavior happening also?

Yes! Thank you!

First, let me say that stuff I interpret as flirting might not be flirtation because I have AS. I misinterpret non-verbal communication all the time. So my definition of "flirty" behavior might include non-sexual meanings.

For example, girls seem to act flirty with other girls. It might be a way to validate the other person or maintain the relationship.

Sometimes you flirt with a person to let them know you are interested in possibly dating or having sex with them. It lets the person know you want them to flirt back.

Sometimes it is a way to boost your self-esteem. It feels good to know someone finds you attractive enough to flirt with you. It is not a female thing. It is a human thing. I do it to, and I'm a guy. It is up to you to interpret what the flirtation means using context clues.

I used to flirt all the time to gain power over women, basically to make them do stuff for me. I was not attracted to them in the least. Some women do this too. They flirt with men to get them to do stuff.

Sometimes you can misinterpret someone just being nice for that person flirting.

To me, it is just a playful, affectionate form of communication. You can't take it seriously.

You both are missing the point. Just because you only flirt when you are interested in sex or romance, doesn't mean other people are the same way. The majority of people (male and female) flirt without necessarily wanting things to go any further than just flirting. You are supposed to understand that even though it is an unwritten rule. If you are really good at reading people (way better than I am), you can interpret the situation to know if it would be okay to try to take things further or if that would just make things weird. I always err on the side of safety because I never know, and I don't want to be labelled a creep or ruin things.

Did anyone else think the woman in the pic resembled Taylor Swift? I stumbled onto a pic of Taylor from some kinda photo-shoot(unintentionally because I don't really care how any celebs look) & she wasn't sitting on a car or had the same pose but she looked pretty similar.

So, "might makes right" in this case? I don't like it and I don't have to. If someone led me on in that way and I found out, I'd ditch them full stop in less than a heartbeat. I really don't know how people put up with all this fake BS.

She's asking for photos, that what I would think.

And the guy is asking for a public spank, eww.

1) I'm not attracted to any of the guys pics posted in this thread. Not my type. Just for the record, since someone said I may be attracted to the motorcycle guy. Nope.

2) She's not asking to be raped, duh, no one asks for that. But dressing and posing like that she is asking for attention, flirting, and sexual advances. If she didn't want that sort of attention she wouldn't dress like she was asking for that sort of attention. Assuming for a second that she's happily coupled, she'd still be asking for attention from the opposite sex and would likely expect some flirting/compliments. Maybe she likes that sort of thing and its a nice confidence booster for her? Further, she could be partnered up and dressing that way to make other women jealous of her looks and her man. That happens, too. Then there's the less probable, but possible, scenario that she does it to attract attention of other men just to make her boyfriend jealous and fight them off - I've seen that crap happen at bars I used to work at. But no matter what way you slice it, she's asking for attention whether compliments, envy, or sexual advances - she's just not asking to be raped, because almost no one asks for that. (I've read personal ads where people have a fetish and they do actually ask for exactly that, believe it or not.)

Or she might be following a fashion trend, à la mode.

How can someone intentionally lead you on if both of you know that you are just flirting? I don't see where the dishonesty is. Just because you didn't get the memo that flirting does not equal intent to have sex does not mean the other person is being dishonest. They expect you do know what their actions mean. That is not leading someone on. Furthermore, if most people understand what the rules of the game are, why wouldn't they expect you to know and respond normally?

She is asking for attention. The motivation behind that is different for every woman, but the attention is the goal.

Excellent! I am pleased that this debate is happening because this is precisely the point of this thread - for people to check their assumptions against eachother. Mostly we go around the world assuming that other people think, feel and behave the same way we do - especially those of us on the autism spectrum, so it's even more important to stop and check our assumptions.

She is asking for it?

Yes, this is has been used as a reference following a rape. I would be interested in hearing people discuss this. Why would anyone think She is asking for it to be a justification. We (society) must think that phrase is an acceptable justification for something, otherwise why would anyone bother trying to justify themselves using an argument that they know won't get them off the hook?

You don't hear rapists saying 'I just felt like it' because they know that's not an acceptable justification. In fact, I just felt like it does not seem an acceptable justification for doing almost anything.

but there is also another side. I have heard many women saying things like She is asking for it - meaning she is asking to be gossiped about, ridiculed and put down - because in their view, she is not observing societal norms. So, they would maybe feel to label this lady a slut, based on absolutely no evidence (she could well be a virgin), because she is dressed provocatively. This is something I grew up with and experienced a lot. I mean, on TV it's a cliche that a young teenage woman will try to leave the house dressed wearing very little and her parents or caregivers will see it as their duty to make her change into something more decent.

So no, I am not being a hypocrite because nobody would ever put down a good looking man who is not wearing a lot of clothes nor would they label him a slut (or if they did, for some reason, that's a compliment if you are a man).

There are double standards. Who said it that they were thinking differently about the man and the woman, that the man was inviting sex but woman might have been just flirting? That's precisely my point. I think the man is obviously posing in an ironic way - we see him as a caricature, because our expectation of feminine and masculine behaviour - and that includes what we expect women and men to wear - colours our preception, our assumptions and our expectations.

Please feel free to continue to debate.

Because, you know, maybe it's not OK to make some jokes? (I dread to think what Jimmy Carr would say)

Dave Chappelle makes a good point

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7QNw1LRJv4[/youtube]

Ah, I see, this is probably why he would never been seen wearing a hoodie and a drop pants because that would mean someone might confuse him for a criminal...oh wait