Are all the good ones REALLY taken by 27?

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Been there, done that. I wish I'd been able to be alone at school. I got the crap beaten out of me day after day. In many ways, being a little kid can be miserable. I grew up in a squeal-piggy Iowa hick factory town. I don't like going back.

Most ret*d people I've met are actually pretty nice, and so are Down's people. Why would someone be mean to them? It must be terrible to actually be ret*d and have people rub it in your face.

I was in the gifted program in Junior High and part of our day was spending time working with the Special Needs kids, they were great fun and certainly more enjoyable to be around than most of the NT kids. One of the Autistic kids named Justin had an older brother who was well protective of him and his classmates, one day this other kid called Justin a ret*d and pushed him, after school Justin's brother beat the snot out of that kid and nobody mentioned the word ret*d around anyone in that class for the next few years.

Some bullies only understand brute force.

Jesus christ. Will you please stop listing arbitrary cutoffs for this or that, as if some set of magic formulas makes girlfriends appear or not appear.

The US alone has tens of millions of single adults. Why are they single? For any reason you can name, you can also point to tens of millions of similar people who're married/coupled. There are married grotesque people. Married stupid people. Married addicts and disabled people. Married former single mothers. Married unemployed people. Married people who can't or don't drive. On and on and on. Likewise, there are single people who are fit, well-educated, good-looking, sane, employed, etc.

The longer I go the more it seems to me that married people are people who want to be married and have a realistic idea of what that means. They share a reasonably specific and realistic goal. They really want to live, and share most of their free time, with one other person with whom they share most values and tastes. They want to put that other person at the center of their lives -- not in some stupid heroic way, but in a mundane, "I can't do X because Jon will want me to pick him up, maybe another time" way, or an "I don't love ribs but it's Tanya's favorite restaurant" way, or a "fine I'll tolerate your sister in our house for the next week, and okay I'll work in the basement because she's sleeping in my office" way. In general, they like sex okay, but aren't stark raving mad over it. They're rather patient people content to ignore lots in the other person in order to go through life with that person for company. And they tolerate arguments with each other over money, housekeeping, childrearing, how to talk to friends, where to live, etc., without becoming furious and paranoid.

It seems to me that people who're serious about making a married life, and have a realistic idea about it, are the ones who get married and stay married, regardless of what they look like, employment status, anything else.

Oh good grief, no, not all the "good" ones are taken by 27, or I wouldn't be married today, and neither would my sister.

Some people need a little more time to grow into themselves and be ready for a permanent relationship. I can look back and see how I needed all those single years to become a better partner and a better parent, and my only regret is that I spent way too much time fretting that I would never find anyone, instead of living my life in every moment to its fullest. What a waste of energy.

For every person who is still on a journey as a single, there is a potential, qualify partner doing the exact same thing. I saw that so clearly when I met my husband: neither one of us was truly ready before we got together.

We were each 34 when we started dating.

My sister was 40 when she started dating her husband.

Really? What makes a woman a "great" one???? Face it, how "great" someone is various by who is doing the evaluation, does it not? What is "great" to one person maybe a "dud" to another. And plenty of "great" women are too busy pursuing their own interests and lives to appear as obviously available in the marketplace.

But you've hit the nail on the head with the last sentence.

I'm not taken and I am 31.

hugs?

I see these WHY? threads in the Love and Dating forum and can't help but laugh sometimes. Maybe I have trouble with the whole theory of mind thing BUT

If I can:
a) get laid
b) enjoy a relationship and
c) enjoy being single when I'm not participating in a) and b)

WITH THE FOLLOWING DISADVANTAGES:

- ASD
- Unemployment
- Poor health
- Not exactly gorgeous
- Not exactly charming
- Don't drive
- Don't own a car (or a house)
- I'm in my 30s and never married / childless
- Owns more than one cat

I could handle the shame of all the above if I just had a 10ft penis that could bend round corners and magically trigger orgasms in women like a remote control, but I don't. C'mon people, if I can scrape by and be content I'm sure you can all do it WITH YOUR EYES CLOSED.


[/inebriatedhubristicpeptalk]

Cool story, bro.

- ASD (check)
- Unemployment (this is my major hold back, in my area this is the important thing for eligibablity .
I have a job been told it's not good enough.)
- Poor health (i consider mind average)
- Not exactly gorgeous(check)
- Not exactly charming(i'm very charming and romantic, women love that about me)
- Don't drive( i drive)
- Don't own a car (or a house) ( own a car and rent house with family)
- I'm in my 30s and never married / childless (check but 26)
- Owns more than one cat (whats a disadvantage about cats, women i've met love cats)

Absolutely not. I know plenty of men and women that are "eligible" in any possible measure and single in their 30s or 40s (or even older). Many of them have done the mistake of forming a long-term relationship with a wrong person at a young age. Some of them have been very career orientated. I don't personally see it as something that should be rushed.

I have fans, but I've been a single by a choice for a while now. Personally, I find the idea that I should jump in to a relationship with the first person just to prove something about my worth to someone very disturbing.

1) Depends on your definition of "good"
2) Wait for someone to get divorced, it's liable to happen. 1 in 2 marriages and all that.

Off course not.

Yuck, I relate to a lot of this. Never rode a bus (thankfully), I walked. However the tormenting was relentless until mid-high school when I finally had a meltdown on a few unfortunate aggressors. Small doesn't mean defenseless! Beatings by a step-parent and a biological parent blaming the child for their issues can practically drive one insane....

I don't agree with the age cutoff of "25" being where all the "good ones" are taken. But, by the time you're in your mid thirties..... pickins will be very slim!